All the Phases of the Moon
by rochsmell
Summary: AU: A different path through New Moon, Edward gives up trying to stay away and the Cullens return to Forks. Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all recognisable characters, original plot and future of characters
1. Prologue: Possibilities

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, original plot and creative inspiration.

**Prologue: Possibilities**

Alice watched the sun rise over the icy landscape, sighing and stretching her arms, then running her fingers through her spiky hair. During the night she had played the same visions in her mind, trying to understand what decisions could have lead to such an outcome. Her anxiety had become palpable and not wanting to distress Jasper until she knew exactly what was going to happen, she had wandered the forest surrounding the cabin, pondering the possibilities.

One thing she knew for sure, Edward was returning home. But where was home? Not Denali, thought it was beautiful, had plenty of game for hunting, and the company of another coven. Home was Forks. Home was Bella. She had promised Edward she would not look in on Bella, but she couldn't stop the visions that came naturally. What she had seen the previous night had unsettled her, that Bella would do such an insane thing, what would that do to Charlie! And how would Edward react if he ever found out? She refused to be responsible, but she could prevent this if she understood what would lead to such visions and maybe even prevent it.

Gracefully, she stood and brushed the snow from her pants. First things first, time to tell the family about Edward's latest decision.


	2. Chapter 1: Home Coming

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, original plot and creative inspiration.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Home Coming**

Edward pressed down on the gas and felt the car surge forward, seeming as impatient as he felt. Originally he planned to drive straight to Forks, straight to Bella's door. Straight to her arms and beg for her love. But something about Alice's message on his phone made his drive further north to Denali. She had mentioned that the rest of the family were desperate to see him and that they all wanted to go back to Forks with him.

He admitted to himself, when he heard Alice's matter of fact expectation, that he would drive to them first, that he had missed his little sister in the last few months. That he had missed all his family. But he missed Bella as well, maybe even more and was desperate to see her again.

As he neared the house, he noticed that there was only one mind inside, fluttering nervously about packing, and furnishing and the weather. The lack of chaos made him wonder where the rest of his family was, but Esme's thoughts told him they were all hunting and would return soon. He grinned as Esme's thoughts shouted joyfully when she heard the Volvo's engine. He quickly killed the engine, and in long strides was inside the front door. Esme stood in the doorway leading to the living room, her smile radiant.

"Hi," he said, suddenly nervous, feeling like the prodigal son he had been almost eighty years ago.

"Oh, Edward!" Esme exclaimed before flying at him and wrapping him in a hug. He could tell by her thoughts that she would be sobbing with happiness if she could cry.

"I'm so sorry, Mom, I never wanted to…" he started.

"No Edward, it's not important now." She interrupted him, "You're back, and we'll move back to Forks now. I don't doubt that things will work out somehow."

Hope surged through him, while he looked into her happy eyes. Finally he had done something right. The last few months had been a terrible mistake, but he would make it up to his family, and he would make it up to Bella, no matter what he had to do.

The last moments he had seen Esme before he had left, she was so disappointed, so sad. To see her happy now, he knew he was making the right choice.

A bombardment of thoughts alerted him to the arrival of the rest of the family, that they had seen his car and were just as ready as he was to get back to Forks.

Alice was the first through the door, throwing herself at Edward, squealing and rushing off into the back of the house.

Emmett and Jasper's greeting were just as excited, leading to a rumble which Esme hurried out the front door. Carlisle was waiting patiently next to the door, and hugged Esme while waiting for the boys to finish their tussle. Edward extracted himself from Emmett's grasp and stepped toward his father. Carlisle gripped Edward's hand in a firm handshake before pulling Edward into a hug.

_I'm so glad that you came to the right decision on your own, Edward_. Carlisle's thoughts were calm and happy. _We all missed you_.

Pulling away, Edward noticed Rosalie slip into the house, without meeting his eyes.

_Rose…will just take time. Don't worry, I'll talk to her_. Emmett looked meaningfully at Edward before following his wife.

Alice appeared suddenly in the door way with several luggage bags in her arms. And many more behind her.

"Ok," she said, breathlessly smiling, "we're all packed! Let's go home!"

* * *

In the car, driving to Forks, the excitement was infectious. Poor Jasper had a smile was almost as broad as Edward's. It took all of Edward's self control not to dump Jasper and Alice at the end of the drive to their house and head straight to Swan house. But it was early morning, and Edward thought it best to have a plan about how to confess what a fool he had been, about how sorry he was and how he could no longer live without his Bella.

Rosalie, in the car ahead, was all negative thoughts, creating doubts, like shadows through his mind. What if she, doing as he'd wanted, moved on? What if she was no longer 'his Bella'? The pain and jealousy at such an idea bubbled inside him, but he pushed those thoughts out of his mind trying to remain hopeful.

The white house was still the same, the meadow was slightly overgrown, but it was home. He sighed deeply, as he stopped the car and wandered up the stairs to his room. The entire house was filled with a dusty, uninhabited scent, but in his golden room, there was the slight difference, a scent lingered that he would always desire and never forget. Bella's scent seemed absorbed in the carpets and walls; he was grateful for that, but surprised that the smell of her wasn't in the whole house. Though Bella had spent most of the time at their house, in his room, so it seemed right that her scent could still be found in his room- even after all the time that had passed.

Edward sat on the carpet and leaned against the wall, watching the sky grow lighter and lighter outside his windows, and tried to plan such an important reunion. Questions filled his mind, some his own, some that his family were thinking as they settled back into the house.

What would Bella say when she saw him?  
What would she do?  
What would Edward have to say or do to convince her of his love?

A tap at the door drew him from his meditation like state.

"Alice?"

She slipped through the door and sat next to him. Her eyes worried. _We should talk before you go out and find Bella._

Edward nodded, this was the other reason that he went to his family first. He had been waiting for Alice to talk about what was worrying her since they had left Denali, but she had only ever been excited and happy.

She sighed and opened her thoughts to him. He knew instantly that this was a vision.

_Bella sat on her bedroom floor, looking down at something. Silent tears ran down her cheeks. She sat back, kicking whatever was on the floor under her bed and clutched her middle, her sobs gaining sound and momentum. A soft knock on the door made her start, and she turned and looked at the opening door. A sad yet hopeful smile spread across her face, and the vision faded._

Waves of different emotions filled he as a thought about what had played through his mind. Why was Bella so sad? Who came through the door? He blurted out the only questions he thought Alice could answer.

"Why did the vision fade? Did you see who was at the door?"  
She shook her head sadly. "No I didn't, and the vision faded like that the first time. That's the scary thing Edward, that's the last time I saw Bella. I know you didn't want me to look in on her, but that vision came naturally to me a few nights ago, and since then I've seen nothing."

"Can you look now?" Edward asked, his brows knitting together in confusion.

"Any time I try, it's just blank. It's like Bella has no future!" Alice wailed, slightly hysterical.

"No, Bella has a future; I'll make sure of that." Edward seemed determined.

"Are you going there today?"

"In a couple of hours"

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea," Edward grinned at her, "But I have to try, right?"

* * *

Edward stopped the Volvo, and looked at the house. It looked exactly the same. There was no difference to it, between how it was at that very moment and how it was at the last time he had been here. The last time he had seen _her_.

Self control prevented him from breaking down the front door and storming up the stairs to her room. Pride prevented him from throwing himself at her feet and begging her to take him back. Her truck sat in its place in the drive, so he was sure she was home. But would she want to see him?

Edward decided that the best way would be to have no plans. To respond to her reactions and hope for the best.

He got out of the car and walked to the door. He was moving practically at human pace. He knocked and waited. And waited. His mind screamed with impatience, but he still waited. Eventually his impatience got the better of him and he scaled the wall to her bedroom window. She wasn't in the room. The house was silent. Edward realized now that there was no one home, even though her truck sat in the drive. He tested the window, but it was locked. Frustrated, he slipped back down to the front door and opened it with the spare key. Savoring the wash of the scent as he stepped into the house, he slipped upstairs hoping to disturb nothing. Her room was neat, seemed uninhabited but filled with her scent.

He tapped the floorboard which covered his hidden treasures, for now those will remain concealed, and then he left, locking the house carefully.

Bella was still in Forks, the strength of her scent told him that. But where was she?


	3. Chapter 2: Spring Break

**A/N: This chapter would take place after Bella and Jacob hanging out together in New Moon, page 352, on the Wednesday of that spring break.**

**I was halfway through when I realized that the Rabbit might not be in driving condition by this part of New Moon, so let's just pretend that it is.**

**Thank you to oO-Alice-Cullen-Oo for the beta job and  
NoMoreThanUsual, Yes Exactly my brand of heroine, creamfresh, fukyuu77, Ine-same and somnioarboris for the reviews**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Spring Break**

"It's a new moon tonight," Jacob mumbled, his eyes surveying the darkening sky.

Bella tucked the blanket under her side and snuggled in closer to Jacob's chest. The days of spring break were getting warmer, but the nights were still cold.

"New moon, a good time for changes," Jacob commented again. Bella could tell he was trying to lead into the conversation that she wasn't ready to have.

They were sprawled out on the hood of Jacob's Rabbit, leaning against windscreen. He had driven them to a field just north of the reserve to watch the sun set, and they had sat there since, just talking.

"Hmm," Bella was basking in Jacob's body heat. "This was a really nice idea, Jake. But, are you sure it's ok with Victoria around --"

"Shhh," Jacob placed a finger on her lips and sat up to look at her face, "I would never let anything happen to you. And the pack isn't going to be far, if I actually do need help."

"Okay," Bella quickly agreed, satisfied that they were safe, and that she had distracted him for the moment. "It's getting late, we should get back."

Jacob turned to look back towards the road that lead into Forks, concentrating on a convoy of cars passing; the high beam headlights ruining the darkness around them.

"Jake," She said, breaking his concentration, "You really need to sleep." She added as Jacob stifled a yawn.

"Just a couple more minutes," Jacob gave her his best puppy dog eyes and pouted his bottom lip.

"Alright," Bella giggled, wrapping her arms around his waist as he lay down.

* * *

The rays of the morning sun warmed Bella's cheek, chasing away the chill of the night before. She stretched her arms from the curled position she had been against Jacob's chest. After a moment she realized where they were and awoke fully with a start.

"Jacob!"

He reached out and pulled her into his embrace, growling.

"Jacob, wake up," Bella pushed against his chest with both hands but was unable to escape his grasp. "Jacob, we fell asleep in the field! Wake up! Charlie is gonna be so mad!"

Jacob blinked and stared at the morning sky. "Ah, sh.."

"Come on!" Bella cried, trying to leap off the car, and falling clumsily onto the dew covered grass. Jacob followed, stuffing the blanket into back of the car and jumping behind the wheel. Bella climbed into the passenger door and Jacob peeled the car toward the road, swearing viciously before Bella even had her seatbelt on.

"Language, Jake. It's not that bad. We didn't do it on purpose"

"I'm really sorry Bells, it's my fault. We'll tell Charlie and Billy it's because of me."

"Nothing happened, Jake, they can't be too upset. We just fell asleep."

Jacob's mouth formed a grim line, as though he was being careful not to reply. He gripped the wheel tighter, pushing the rabbit to drive faster. Bella worried whether the rabbit, like her truck, had its own internal speed limit. Something about her earlier comment made Jacob upset; maybe he wished something_ had_ happened.

Charlie's cruiser was parked in front of Billy's house, both men waiting idly, almost calmly, outside the front door. Bella gulped nervously, thinking that calm anger was much worse than hysterical rage, and got out of the car. Walking towards Charlie, she plastered an innocent smile across her face.

"Good morning dad."

* * *

The lectures only ended when Billy and Charlie both needed to give their voices a break, so Bella let Charlie drive her home, hoping it would end the heated discussions. He mumbled something about punishment to Billy as she got into the cruiser.

"So, am I grounded?" Bella asked cautiously, looking out the window at the passing greenery and silently praying for a negative answer.

"No, but I'm glad you understand how serious this situation is." Charlie's reply was stiff and hid emotion. "Bella, you know how much I like Jacob; the Blacks are like family to me. But staying out all night like that was irresponsible, not to mention insane with that rogue bear causing trouble."

Bella sighed; Charlie had already covered this during the yelling match in Billy's living room. If only he could know that Bella was out last night _with_ the rogue bear. Or atleast one of the werewolves, who confused hitchhikers believed was a monstrously large man-eating bear.  
The idea almost made Bella smile. Almost.

"I like Jacob," repeated Charlie, "and I'm glad that spending time with him makes you happy. But using him like this isn't fair."

This new argument made Bella snap to attention.

"What? Using him?" She looked directly at Charlie for the first time since they had gotten in the car.

"After the…Cullens left, you seemed… well you weren't yourself," Charlie started.  
Bella wrapped an arm around her middle and stared at the floor of the cruiser, letting her hair hide her face. Why was Charlie bringing _them_ into this?

"And since you've been hanging out with Jake, you've been…well… yourself again. Which is great." Bella noticed that Charlie smiled and glanced at her, then frowned at her position.

"But you're using Jake, when he so clearly has feelings for you, and you…I think you might have feelings for him,"  
Bella looked back at Charlie. She knew that some of the pack had noticed Jacob's affection for her, but for Charlie and Billy to notice it, and think that she might have feelings to reciprocate. That last night she and Jacob were _together_. She blushed at the idea.

"Using him as a 'return' from the Cullen boy,"

"I think you mean rebound, dad" Bella muttered, staring at the window again, flinching at Charlie's tone when he said 'Cullen boy'.

"It's not right, and it's not something that I'd expect from you, Bella." Charlie finished, the last words rushing out with all the air in his lungs. He continued to stare directly ahead through the windscreen, though they had now stopped in front of their house.

Bella was horrified that Charlie had not only arrived such conclusions but also had seen fit to talk to her about it. She could only think to repeat to him what Jake had said in apology.

"I'm really sorry, dad, but I promise I only have the most honorable intentions." She opened the car door, got out and looked away but spoke in his direction. "Jacob is my friend, my _best _friend. I could never hurt him that way."

She closed the car door and walked towards the house, knowing that she couldn't hurt Jake, the way _he_ had hurt her. And Jake wouldn't hurt her either.


	4. Chapter 3: Decision

**A/N: I finished my exams! So I'm celebrating with a new chapter and not waiting for a Beta response.**

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns all- I've just got a loan

* * *

**Chapter 3: Decision**

When Bella closed the front door behind her, she was mad. That Charlie thought she would be using Jake in such a way. She stomped up the stairs, closed her bedroom door behind her and felt the embarrassment color her cheeks. She couldn't remember such a conversation between her and Charlie ever happening before. She loved Charlie, but such personal, emotional topics were difficult to digest.

She headed for her bed, tripped on nothing and sat on the floor. Looking around her, she noticed that a floorboard had popped lose. As she tried to push the floorboard back in place, Bella heard a knock on the front door. Getting up, she looked out her window. Jacob stood on the front steps, grinning mischievously up at her.

She stumbled down stairs and opened the front door, and Jacob wrapped her in a warm embrace.

"I'm so sorry Bells, what punishment did Charlie give you?" He whispered into her hair.

"Nothing, no punishment. Shocking huh?" She grinned up at him but his face had changed to a look of insult.

"I'm grounded! How did you escape with nothing?"

Avoiding answering his question, she pulled away and walked into the kitchen, popped two slices of bread in the toaster and turned back to see him lean in the doorway.

"Hungry?" She hoped food would make him happier.

"I'm starved. Cowering burns up so much energy."

Bella smiled, and then looked at him suspiciously while pulling a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard. "So, if you're grounded, how are you allowed to be here?"

Jacob laughed, "I'm not allowed. No-one can cage this beast," he boasted.

"Won't you be in more trouble when you go home?" Bella worried.

"It'll be worth it," Jacob almost whispered, his eyes warming as the8y met hers.

Blushing, Bella turned back to the toast.

* * *

As Jacob consumed most of the loaf, Bella went upstairs for a 'human minute' and change clothes. When she returned from the bathroom, Jacob was seated in her rocking chair, staring at nothing. She ignored the memories of _him_ waiting for her in the same way and busied herself, tidying the room.

"You've got a loose floorboard over there." His tone said that he was aware of something upsetting her and was trying to lighten the atmosphere. "Do you know where Charlie keeps his tools? I'll fix it for you."

"Ah, no, I don't know where. Maybe out the back?" She suggested as Jacob walk towards her, nudging the loose floorboard with his foot.

"I'll go look. I bet I can sniff out a hammer and some nails." He sniffed her neck, tickling the sensitive skin and making her giggle, before walking out the room and thumping down the stairs.

Bella sat on the floor near the loose board, trying to push it in place. Something under that particular board was preventing it from sitting flat. She lifted the board carefully, leaving a small portion of wood in her hands and a small hole in her floor. Surprised, she felt around the edge of the gap, hoping it wasn't a dead mouse stopping the board from sitting flat. A piece of cardboard had become wedged in the corner, when pulling it out of the hole, she instantly recognized it. It was an airplane ticket. It was one of the tickets that Esme and Carlisle had given her for her 18th birthday. Bella stared at the crushed ticket uncomprehending, how could it have ended up in her floor?

Bella has assumed that _he_ had taken everything that would remind her of _him_. For the first time in weeks she allowed herself to be hopeful that _he_ regretted leaving her. But at the same time she was scared that she was setting herself up for disappointment and loss again. She decided that she needed to know what else he had left behind, besides her.

Her hand touched a small pile of items that had been hidden under the floorboard. The next item she pulled out was the box which had contained the tickets. The second ticket remained perfect compared to its crumpled partner. Holding her breath, she removed the rest of the items and spread them out in front of her.

Silent tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away before they dripped off her chin. The photos of _him_ stared up at her; the clear CD case containing the silver CD record with _his_ music sparkled in the sunlight. And two plane tickets, one for her and one for _him_.

Edward. Her heart inflated at the sight on him in the photos, as the tears fell faster and she wrapped her arms around her middle and sat back. Shifting her legs, she made the CD case slide under her bed, two of the photos scatter further away. Still close to her was the photo of them standing together that was taken the night before he had left. In the photo she trying to smile, trying to hold on to him. His eyes were cold and reserved, his posture formal, so obviously not wanting to be there. Not wanting her.

Her sobs became louder, the tears ran faster. She held onto herself tight and closed her eyes, but all she could see was his distant, statuesque face. Lovely. Perfect. Gone.

A soft knock at the door reminded her of Jacob. She quickly shoved the photos and plane tickets under the bed and turned as he re-entered. Bella tried to smile at him, feeling his presence brightening her room.

"Oh Bells, what wrong?" Jacob dropped the nails and hammer next to the door, sat down on the floor and pulled her into his lap. She buried her head against his shoulder and waited until the sobs silenced.  
Jacob held her at arms length and placed his warm palms against her cheeks, staring deep into her eyes, searching for the problem. He leant forward and kissed her forehead, gently, lingering. As he sat back to look her in the eyes again, he wiped the last tears with his thumbs. The spot where he had kissed her tingled.

"Bells?" he prompted.

She shook her head.

"I need to get you out of this house." He stood up, still holding her and walk downstairs.

* * *

The weather was sunny and dry so they took the motorcycles out to the usual spot and rode them until noon. Jacob sang songs at the top of his voice and cracked jokes, hoping to make Bella smile but her mind still couldn't be distracted from what had been under the floorboard.

Why had _he_ hid all those things in her room? Had those reminders really been there all that time, when she was oblivious to the world, to the time passing by? It was almost like he still wanted to be there every night, as she slept in her bed, where he always used to be. But it couldn't be, because _he_ didn't want her, so why leave those things with her?

The questions bombarded her mind, and Bella realized too late that she should have been watching where she was going. The tree shook dramatically as the front wheel of her bike connected with its trunk. In slow motion, she fell, pulling the bike down on top of her, before she really understood what had happened. Tears sprung up instantly as she felt the bruises that would form in the morning from the weight of the bike. Jacob was running towards her, screaming, pulling the bike off her, and then there was only black.

* * *

Forks hospital emergency room was practically empty, a supervising triage nurse completing a crossword. Bella sat on orange plastic chair as Jacob filled out forms and spoke softly to her. She still felt woozy, and when he mentioned that she had a cut on her head, she insisted not being told more, as the description of blood could make her pass out again.

"Come on dearest," the matronly nurse placed a hand on Bella's shoulder and encouraged her to stand up, "let's go fix that cut on your head."

Jacob wrapped his arm around Bella's waist and helped her walked into one of the examination rooms and sit on the examination bed. He gently ran his hands through her hair and smiled.

"You had me really worried, Bells"

She smiled back at him. "I'm fine Jake, really, just a bump on the head."

"I know, Bells, I just… you fell… and in my mind…." Tears filled his eyes and he looked down as his rough hands gripped hers. "I can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it" Jake confessed, his voice breaking as he whispered the last words.

"That's never going to happen, Jake," Bella whispered back, "I'll never…"

Jacob stood up suddenly, staring out at the main area of the emergency room. His body tensed and his eyes focused on something that she couldn't see.

"I got to go, Bells. I'm sorry. I called Charlie before, he should be here soon."

Without meeting her eyes, he quickly leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, before leaving the room. He practically ran out of the hospital. Confused and slightly irritated, Bella lay back on the bed and closed her eyes.

**

* * *

**

If you've finished this chapter- send me a review. All I'm asking for is a rating out of 10. One little number won't take too long to send- I'm curious about the amount of people actually reading this story- PWEASE??

**In return I promise Cullen-ness in the next couple of chapters.**


	5. Chapter 4: Hallucination

**DISCLAIMER:** As I'm currently trying to work out the meaning of the cover image of Breaking Dawn (Red Pawn and White Queen- check it out on her website people!)- I musn't be Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I own no characters or original storyline.

**A/N**: Thanks to BB's girls, NoMoreThanUsual, IcyScorpio **(Hot NAME!),** Cami-Of-The-Sky-Villiage, creamfresh, Artemis of Luna for the reviews- I am a review addict, and you are my fix. Much gratitude to Beta oO-Alice-Cullen-Oo who rewards my patience with help and great commentary. I MISS EDWARD TOO, so dedicating this long weekend (Monday's a public holiday in Australia) to writing the next few chapters and hopefully publishing them soon.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hallucinations**

The door opened as a doctor entered the examination room. Bella continued to stare at the ceiling, puzzled by Jacob's departure. She tried to remember if he had told her where he was going, but the painkiller she had taken gave the world blurry edges and her memories were confusing. The doctor paused before coming closer to the bed. Cold, gentle hands lingered on her forehead, around the tender skin near the shallow wound. The doctor, a tall, handsome man, wrote something on her chart and then turned back to her.

Golden eyes stared into Bella's, noting her pupils, waiting for her reaction.

Bella stopped breathing as she stared up at Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Do you have a headache?" he asked softly, almost a whisper.

Bella shook her head- cringing as it made her vision swim.

His stepped away from the bed towards a metallic tray, then his cold hands were on her forehead again. She was vaguely aware of a cool lotion being rubbed in, making the cut sting slightly. She stopped concentrating on her treatment. Her mind filling with questions, which was not helping her hazy perspective.

_This isn't happening_, she thought, _it can't be real_. Bella wondered if it was the concussion or the sedatives that were causing her hallucinations. She was clearly delusional and imagining that the doctor treating her was none other than Carlisle Cullen.

She was convinced that there was no chance that any of the Cullen's would be in Forks, let alone working in Fork's hospital. Even if she did want them there, _Edward_ had promised that it would be as if _he_ never existed. And if there was no _Edward_, then there were no Cullens.

She wondered if finding the reminders of Edward in her room earlier had brought this on or if she had hit her head harder than she had originally thought. Or perhaps the anesthetics were stronger than required- she had struggled at the sight of the needle.

If it really was Carlisle, standing near the door, writing on a clipboard, why didn't he talk to her? He should be telling her why he was here and if the rest of the Cullens had come back to Forks. If it really was him, couldn't she just ask? But she didn't, because it wasn't him, and then she would be asking a stranger questions which didn't make sense. Would a doctor treating her for a concussion thinking asking odd questions was a symptom of a bigger problem?

"Is hallucinating normal with a concussion?" Bella finally asked out loud, hoping the doctor would think her question was out of curiosity. She refused to think of him as Carlisle, even though he looked and seemed like the father of the Cullen family. He gazed back at her, considering her question, with one eyebrow raised and a slight humorous smile. She closed her eyes, grateful that this hallucination was not _him. _If it had been _Edward _to look at her like that, to smile at her like that...

She couldn't imagine what she would have done.

The door banged open suddenly so she opened her eyes, and Charlie strode into the room, worry creasing his brow.

"Bells, what happened?" He neared her bed, a hand hovering above the bandage which had appeared on her cut. When did the doctor do that, she wondered? How long had she lain there with her eyes closed.

Charlie's ramblings were interrupted by the doctor -- who wasn't Carlisle-- still standing by the door.

"I was just about to ask her the same thing." He commented, stepping up to the other side of the bed.

Charlie nodded to the doctor before worrying over Bella again. After a second, he looked back at the doctor, openly staring, at a loss for words. His mouth formed a surprised 'O'.

"I fell," Bella started, embarrassed by Charlie's strange behavior. "Down the stairs at home" she lied.

"Oh," Charlie voice sounded strangled, as he stepped back from the bed and watched as the doctor-- who wasn't Carlisle-- turned away, writing again on the clipboard.

"Just down the stairs at home?" Charlie asked picking a leaf out of Bella's hair. He looked nervously at the doctor who seemed distracted and continued in a hushed whisper. "You've had me really worried lately Bella, disappearing all last night. I almost had a stroke just now, getting a call to pick you up from the hospital. What have you been up to?"

"I'm fine, dad, really. Last night was nothing, and today was just my normal clumsiness" Bella sat up and felt the room spin.

"I know I haven't been around much," Charlie huffed, "but I was under the impression that you were spending time at the Blacks. Where is Jacob any way? Why would he bring you to the hospital and then just leave?

The doctor who wasn't Carlisle seemed to stop and listen to their conversation. Bella had her first clear thought, that if it really was Carlisle in the room, then he should be told about the werewolves and Victoria.

"Jacob had to go, because of Victoria, dad." Bella really hoped that her vampire stalker wasn't why Jacob had disappeared.

Charlie's eyes widened in surprise, "Victoria?"

"Yeah," Bella lied, "this girl that Jacob has been…chasing"

She watched in the corner of her eye as the doctor-- who she still refused to believe could be Carlisle -- turned back to look at her.

"But I thought that Jacob liked--" Charlie mused slowly.

"She's this red-head that all the boys at La Push have been chasing for weeks, dad." Bella interrupted, glancing back at the doctor -- who wasn't Carlisle. His eye's filled with understanding and concern.

Charlie looked away thoughtfully, and Bella realized that he must have been embarrassed about that morning's conversation.

"Well, if there's nothing else, I'll take you home, Jacob's got your truck" Charlie said, turning and looking expectantly at the doctor.

"She needs rest, but she should be fine, if she stays away from staircases" the doctor nodded towards Charlie, but was looking at Bella, a small smile lighting his face.

Charlie helped her get off the bed and to his cruiser, the doctor following them to the doors of the hospital; Bella ignored the quiet, rushed words between the two men. While driving home, Bella's eyelids felt heavier and the weariness from the sedatives and that day's activity lulled her into a light doze. At home, she tolerated Charlie leading her carefully up the stairs and into her bedroom. Falling asleep as soon as she was laying on her bed, she barely noticed as Charlie picked up a collection of things on her floor and arranged them on the desk.

* * *

**A/N**: Once again, I'll ask for a rating out of 10- AND if you're feeling generous send me a piece of criticism- even if it's just complaining about the lack of Edward.


	6. Chapter 5: Stubborn

**A/N**: My apologies for keeping you waiting- I hope a longer chapter will appease any-one who is terribly disgruntled.

Thank you Artemis of Luna, BB's girls, NoMoreThanUsual, twilightdaydream, nAuGHty NiKkI13, Fall Down Again Bella, theone101 and ellabella13 for the supportive reviews and oO-Alice-Cullen-Oo for the beta job, she's as good as her Porsche 911 Turbo.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Stubborn**

When Bella woke up, her room was dark and confusing. At first she was unsure if it was late night or early morning. She wondered how long she had been asleep. Her head throbbed with a dull reminder of the afternoon bike accident, and when she sat up her body was stiff and sore.

She felt her way to the door in the dark. She opened it and heard Charlie mumbling on the phone in the kitchen. She tried not to groan in pain while she walked to the top of the stairs, as she listened to his side of the conversation, she wondered who was on the other end of the call.

"-- Made it clear that if any of them did that, it wouldn't be acceptable. I don't even want to imagine how Bella would cope --" Charlie paused to listen. At the mention of her name Bella strained to hear the other side of the conversation.

"I don't see how I could be more straight-forward about the situation." Charlie continued, "he seemed worried about something too, though he couldn't have been any where near as uncomfortable as I felt."

Charlie paused to listen again, and now Bella could hear a presumably female voice at the end of the phone, which she quickly recognized as Renee. Her mother spoke faster and louder than normal, and Bella thought she sounded as irritated as Charlie, but she still couldn't hear what Renee was saying.

"You know I love having Bella here, but maybe it would be better if she went to live with you for a while, at least until school starts again."

Renee said something that sounded agreeable. Bella felt a flood of rage fill her. Her parents were talking about her, making decisions about her life, as though they expected her to fall apart again. She couldn't even imagine why they would even need to have such a conversation.

Bella realized she was standing in the kitchen, but she didn't remember walking down the stairs. Charlie looked up at her, surprised.

"Hey, Bells, how are you feeling?" He cupped his hand over the phone and tried to smile at her.

"What was that you were saying, Dad?" Bella walked towards Charlie and held her hand out for the phone.

"Ah, your Mom and I were just talking about- -" Charlie seemed reluctant to admit the topic of the conversation.

Bella took the phone, held it up to her ear and spoke into it, "Hi Mom".

"Hey Bella, honey, how are you feeling?"

"Fine Mom, I guess Dad told you about my accident this afternoon."

"He did, honey, and we're both really worried about you"

"Yeah," Bella interuppted, "So worried you both decided that I should move away from Forks without asking me whether I would want to. _Again_."

"Bella you don't understand..." Renee's voice died, as though she was also reluctant to explain what she and Charlie had been talking about.

Bella couldn't argue with both of her parents at the same time, "Mom, it's late, I'm tired and my head hurts, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight"

Renee sighed, "Night Bella."

Bella handed the phone back to Charlie, and he put the receiver back on the cradle.

"If you don't want me here, if I'm too much trouble, why didn't you just say so?" Bella asked, looking at the floor. She didn't want to see the truth in eyes.

"It's not like that Bella, I just thought you would be more comfortable staying with your Mom for a while, that's all." Charlie's voice was tired.

"I'm comfortable here in Forks, Dad" Bella crossed her arms in front her chest and looked at Charlie stubbornly. He gazed at her forlornly and she felt guilty for picking a fight with him. He was just trying to do what he thought was best for her.

"I won't fight with you tonight about this Bella. It was just a suggestion any way. You need rest, I'm sure your very tired and confused." Charlie stood and went to walk up the stairs. He reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder as he brushed past her.

She listened as he walked to his bedroom and shut the door, before moving to ascend the stairs herself. She knew she wouldn't leave Forks; _couldn't_ leave Forks. Something was compelling her to stay, and as long as that something told her she belonged there, she refused to leave.

* * *

Charlie left earlier than usual then next morning. Bella listened to him leave and then got out of bed and dressed. Her body was still stiff, and a collection of bruises decorated her stomach and chest. She winced with each step down the stairs, and was considering walking back upstairs and returning to bed when there was a knock at her front door.

She opened the door to see Jacob standing in the yard, looking at the forest around the house. He glanced at her, standing in the door-way, but didn't move towards her or to enter the house.

"I drove your truck here. Didn't want Charlie to have to drive you to La Push and back to get it."

"Thanks, Jake, but you didn't have to."

Bella couldn't understand why Jake seemed so awkward, standing there. Something in the back of her mind, from her memories of the day before, tried to tell her why Jake was so distant, but at that moment she couldn't grasp what it was. She just wanted Jacob to be his regular happy self.

"Did you want to come in?" she asked, hoping he would relax once inside.

He shook his head, starting to refuse, when Embry stepped out of the forest, calling out, to him. "You were right, Jacob, and it is all of them."

Embry stopped walking and froze as he saw Bella standing in the doorway. "Morning Bella," Embry seemed to look past her, feigning cheerfulness.

"Hey Embry. Do you boys want some breakfast?" Bella was so confused about both boys acting so odd. Just days ago she had felt at home in their company and now it was if she didn't know them at all.

"Nah, Bella, we've got to go now. Got some stuff to do, _people_ to see, right Jake?" Embry started to back away, and Bella noticed a few other members of the pack standing in the shadows of the trees.

"What's going on? You'd talk me if anything's wrong, wouldn't you, Jake?" Bella finally asked, taking a step out of the door, and Jacob looked up at her.

"We've got some… stuff to do, Bella." Jake repeated as he started to back away. He looked back at Embry and Sam, who were the only two standing at the edge of the forest now. The rest of the pack had disappeared. "Maybe I'll call you afterwards. Tonight."

"Jacob, is this about Victoria?" Bella whispered, wondering why he wouldn't tell her what had them all so anxious.

Jacob glanced back at her and sighed. He closed the distance between them in two long strides and grasped her face, his hot palms on her cheeks.

"No, it's not _that_ one," Jacob's voice was harsh. "We're going to go sort this out and then I'll call you, because I want to talk to you about … about something important."

Bella wanted to ask what they were _sorting_ out, but the way Sam watched them made her decide to ask Jacob when they were alone.

"Ok, Jake," Bella tried to smile up at him, her skin burning from the heat in his eyes, the proximity of his body. "I'll be waiting for your call."

Jake started to lean in to her. His lips hovered over hers.

Her mind screamed _NO_ and she pulled away. His hands slid down her cheeks and he stepped back. But he didn't look rejected. He looked hopeful. He was almost grinning as he turned away from her and disappeared in the forest. It seemed like she was alone, but she had no doubt that all the pack was close by.

She closed the front door and leaned against it, thinking about what had almost happened.

Yesterday, she wouldn't have even _thought_ about kissing Jake. But something had changed in the moment that his face had hovered so close to hers. His eyes had burned with passion making her heart had race even though her mind argued that it was _wrong_. It was the same something that had compelled her to stay in Forks, that had also told her not to kiss Jacob. Now the confusion from that moment overwhelmed her.

She didn't _want_ to kiss Jacob, but she didn't _not want_ to kiss him either.

The phone rang, breaking her train of thoughts. She remembered promising to fight with her mother the previous night, about moving back to Arizona. Sighing, she answered the phone, preparing herself for the argument. She was surprised by Angela's shy voice on the other end of the phone.

"Have you been enjoying the break?" Angela asked after greeting her.

Bella tried to act happy, but she sensed that her audience wasn't even paying attention.

"Is there something wrong, Angela?" Bella asked, hoping her friend was ok.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm fine. I just..." Angela hesitated, taking a loud, deep breathe, "I don't want this to seem like I'm gossiping. I just thought you should know..."

"Know what?" Bella prompted, sensing Angela's nerves.

For moments Angela hesitated again, making Bella impatient. She finally began speaking calmly and slowly "Jessica called me just now, and she said a couple of people in town have been talking about them in the last few days."

_"Them__?"_ Bella was completely confused. She had no idea who Angela was talking about.

Angela spoke quickly then, "Jessica and Lauren were shopping this morning, and they saw Rosalie Hale and Alice and Esme Cullen. The Cullens have moved back to Forks, Bella.

All of them."

* * *

**A/N**: Let me know if you'd like a sneak preview of chapter 6- can you really wait a WHOLE week for myself AND Alice C to edit it?


	7. Chapter 6: Visitor

**A/N: **I'm really sorry I haven't updated sooner, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. Thanks to everyone who reviewed especially Kat of BB's girls, who had me crying with laughing at her reaction- priceless. THIS is the chapter we've all been waiting for- so it's also the longest. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Visitor **

Angela's voice seemed far away, but she was persistently calling Bella's name. Bella sat on the kitchen floor, her legs tucked against the rest of her body, her back against the wall.

"Bella!" Angela continued to call, she was starting to panic.

The phone was also on the floor, it had dropped from Bella's hand when her knees gave way. Bella reached over and picked up the phone.

"I'm still here, Angela, sorry, just a little shocked." Bella tried to sound reassuring but failed. _A little shocked_ was an understatement. Bella's heart was pounding and she wasn't sure she could stand, let alone talk much more.

"Are you ok, Bella? I didn't think you would take the news this bad. I shouldn't have told you over the phone, it would have been better if I had come over your house. I could have looked after you. Is there anything I can do? I feel terrible, I'm so sorry --" Angela was babbling nervously.

"Angela, I'm ok, don't apologise, I appreciate you telling me," Bella cut her off, "but now I think I just need… well I should… I need to …" Bella couldn't finish that sentence. She was still trying to process the information.

"I'll go, but Bella if you need someone to talk to, or just to keep you company, call me ok?" Angela hurried along, still not waiting for a response, "I'll probably talk to you later, bye Bella."

"Bye," Bella answered quietly as Angela hung up.

Bella stood awkwardly and put the phone on the cradle. The Cullens have moved back to Forks, _all of them_. Bella appreciated the implication Angela had made- all of them. Even _him_. They were back. For a second, a thrill of excitement chased away her shock, and she almost ran to get her coat and keys. She had to see for herself, because she couldn't be hopeful before she knew for sure.

But then she froze as like puzzle pieces falling into place, several odd occurrences from the last two days suddenly made sense.

The first was that Carlisle _was_ the doctor who treated her at the hospital the day before, and not merely a hallucination. She was immediately embarrassed wondering, _what had he thought about her behavior? What would he have said to the rest of the Cullens about her? Would they think she was insane_?

And then she understood Charlie's actions at the hospital and the phone call with Renee last night. Charlie had spoken to Carlisle as they was leaving the hospital, that she remembered, and then her parents agreed that she should leave Forks now that the Cullens had returned. What had Charlie said? What had Carlisle told him? Both Charlie and Renee hesitated at the chance to tell her this news, as though they believed she'd be depressed by it. But all she felt was frustrated that so many questions were unanswered and she couldn't even be sure that Jessica had told Angela the truth.

The last realization fueled her frustrations, that when she had asked Jacob if the pack were worried about Victoria, he had replied that it wasn't _'that one'_ that concerned them, and she now knew that he had meant another vampire. He had left the hospital in such a rush- she wondered if he had seen Carlisle and ran. Jacob had believed the Cullens were back and had sent the rest of the pack to confirm that- and when Embry had- they agreed they had some 'stuff' to do. He had known the Cullens had returned to Forks and also didn't tell her.

Everyone but Angela had prevented the news from reaching her. The Cullen's must have returned a few days ago and hadn't found her themselves; Carlisle had barely spoken to her at the hospital. It was a though she was _expected_ to fall apart again. Bella decided that she was stronger than her friends and parents believed her to be, decided that she had to secure herself against any heartbreak she might experience at the Cullen's return by actually seeing them. She wouldn't run away. She would be sure of herself when she was face to face with _him_.

* * *

Bella pulled the truck over before she reached the turn off surrounded by ferns. The closer she drove to the house, the more erratic her breathing became and her hands began to shake. Afraid about how she would drive once she could see the house and if she could control her truck if she saw any of the Cullens, Bella knew the smart thing to do would be to walk the rest of the way- clumsy as she could be, long as the drive-way was- she didn't think being behind the wheel at that moment was sensible.

Walking carefully through the trees, she approached the field at the furthest end from the house, and learnt against one of the ancient tree's trunks. The house looked the same as when she had last seen it, with one difference.

The last time she had seen the Cullen house, she had tried not to see how empty and abandoned it was. Today it was almost painfully obvious that the house was now occupied. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what about the house was different- but she knew it was, just from looking at it.

She waited for the pain to rip through her, but after a few moments her breathing calmed and her heartbeat steadied. She considered the possibility that another family had moved in - when Jasper opened the front door and leapt off the porch, followed by a blur of that must have been Emmett.

Jasper turned and crouched in a defensive pose and Emmett tackled him, they rolled and wrestled in the grass for several minutes- neither getting the upper hand.

Bella could hear their laughter from where she stood, and smiled. Instead of shock or pain, she felt relief wash through her and enjoyed the sight of the brother's playing like they had never left. Their skin sparkled even in the cloudy light and they still moved with the light-speed agility around each other.

She considered stepping away from the shadows and calling out to them when the front door opened again. And there he was

Edward stood framed in the doorway, frowning at his brothers. Even with the acre's distance, he still took Bella's breathe away. Her heart raced as he stepped off the porch and called out to Emmett. He had to pull Emmett off Jasper before he could get their attention.

The sight of him, watching him walk and smile at his brothers melted the fortification Bella thought she had built up to protect herself. The hole that Jacob helped to mend was ripped open again, her mind screamed _'run away, save yourself from heartbreak_', but while Edward sparkled in the sun, her feet were glued to the spot. Fortunately Edward and Emmett walked together back into the house after a few seconds, and Bella tried to flee back to her truck, even though she wasn't sure that her legs could support her weight. Her breathing became shallow gasps, and she struggled to calm down, worried about hyper-ventilating.

She had learnt against another tree and peered around it, looking back at the field, when Jasper whirled around on the spot and stared directly at where she was standing. Fear thrilled down her spine, at the predatory look on his face. The rational part of her mind said Jasper would never hurt her intentionally, but the look on his face at that moment encouraged her to get back to the truck and leave.

She blinked and Jasper was suddenly a few feet away, crouched under a branch, sniffing at the last tree she had leant against. He couldn't see her around the tree that she was now frozen behind, but she could clearly see the dark chasms of his eyes. He hadn't fed recently, and Bella was well acquainted with the dangers of a hungry vampire. Her instincts screamed for her to run, but she also knew that would be the reaction of prey. Realizing she couldn't get away unseen now, she used slow, careful movements to step into Jasper's view, hoping for some kind of welcome once he recognized her. She tried to smile at him, and his eyes widened as they met hers.

"Bella?" He seemed shocked and annoyed about her standing there.

"Hey, Jasper," her voice sounded weak and embarrassed.

He stepped towards her but his face was a confused, angry mask making her heart race. _This really was happening_, she thought, _they really are here. And they didn't want me to know._

Until this point she hadn't considered the possibility that _all_ of the Cullens didn't want her and the blow of this rejection deepened the hole in her middle. She was no longer aware of him as a hungry vampire but more a former friend who was suddenly a stranger, and he froze, obviously sensing her heartbreak.

"I was just leaving," Bella put more distance between them, now scared she was going to fall further apart. She could see that Jasper was drowning in her grief, and didn't want him to see her cry, "don't tell anyone that I was here, okay?"

She knew that Jasper wouldn't be able to resist Edward reading his mind, but she didn't want to think how the rest of the Cullen's would react to her unwanted presence there.

That she now thought the Cullen's were rejecting her, rubbed salt in the wounds created by Edward leaving and she tried to get back to her truck before hot tears began to fall.

She was just about to open the driver's door when she heard Jasper call out, "Bella, wait! Please Bella, wait."

He flew out the trees not far from the truck, and stopped at the sight of her crying.

"I am _so sorry_," he started, reaching out to her, "really, I--"

"Jasper?" Emmett called out from the trees around them, "what are you doing, Jas?"

"Don't do it Jasper!" Edward threatened from the same direction that Emmett was.

Jasper took a step towards her, Bella's hand tightened on the handle, with Edward's voice so angry and moving closer. As she pulled open the door and scrambled into the cab, Emmett and Edward sped out of the surrounding trees and grabbed Jasper where he stood. All three struggled on the road in front of the truck, Jasper trying to throw the other two off his back, as they tried to force him to lie down. Bella could hear Jasper crying out "I wasn't going to!" As quickly as they started wrestling they stopped, with Jasper face down, Edward holding his arms behind his head and Emmett sitting on his back.

Desperate to leave, Bella started the engine and threw the truck into reverse because they blocked her from moving forward. She looked behind her as she started to move and a red convertible took the turn down the road at a horrifying speed. Bella had to brake heavily to avoid hitting Rosalie's BMW, it stopped with its hood merely inches away from the back of her truck. Rosalie, sitting in the passenger seat, seemed shocked and angry by the near accident that had almost occurred. Alice, sat behind the wheel, a triumphant and excited smile plastered on her small face.

Bella turned back to face the front, to see Edward and Emmett let Jasper stand. Jasper shoved at Emmett playfully, but Edward ignored them. He was looking at Bella through the windscreen. He took a careful step towards her and Bella crumbled at the annoyed look in his eyes, almost exactly the same as Jasper's had been earlier. She wrapped her arms around her chest, and rested her forehead against the wheel, tears running down her cheeks. She struggled to breathe and closed her eyes, wishing her heart would stop pounding.

* * *

**A/N**: Poor Bella! So could you rate this chapter out of 10 PLEASE??


	8. Chapter 7: Reunion

**A/N:** This was the _hardest_ chapter to write, but i FINALLY finished it! Thank you to Artemis of Luna, twilightdaydream, Marauder's legacy, petites sorcieres, neonlion, edwardmyantidrug, cat97, night lupine, cullen-obsession, Anuddaone for the reviews. I'm trying to finish this story by August 2nd and I'm halfway through, so I'll try to have the next chapter up soon.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Reunion**

The truck's engine stalled and died, but Bella kept her eyes closed, ignoring the angry raised voices of the Cullens outside the door. She didn't doubt that they were arguing about her being there, that she shouldn't be there and that they didn't want her there. At that moment, Bella wanted to be any where but there. The voices grew louder, but Bella couldn't comprehend what was being said. The door next to her was thrown open but she kept her head down, her arms tight around her.

"Bella?" Alice sounded so concerned that Bella looked up. Only Alice and Esme stood outside now, even Rosalie's BMW was no longer behind her truck. Alice placed a hand of Bella's shoulder. The comforting touch was all Bella needed, she threw herself at Alice, clasping her arms around Alice's neck, sobbing into her shoulder.

"Alice, oh, Alice!" she gasped, inhaling the vampire's familiar scent.

"It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay." Alice's voice was as soothing as her cold hand running down Bella's hair.

"You knew? You saw me come here." Bella tried to stop crying as she looked up at the friend who was more like a sister.

"Yes, I saw you decide to visit,_ finally_. But this wasn't how I saw you behave." Alice sighed, wiping her tears away.

Bella looked at her puzzled. "Finally?"

"Yes, we've been here for days, I'd hope you would have come sooner. Especially after you saw Carlisle."

Alice stepped away from the truck, giving Esme room to pull Bella into a hug. "He told you about that," Bella blushed, returning the affectionate embrace. She realized that there was the still possibility that not _all_ the Cullen's didn't want to see her. After all, Carlisle had been friendly at the hospital, and now here stood Alice and Esme, when the others had left.

"Yes," Esme smiled down at her, "he mentioned your hallucinations, and I agree he is dreamy. Though not_ he's_ the member of the family that I imagined you would have dreamed of."

Bella blushed again, and glanced back at the spot where Edward had stood moments before. _He didn't want to welcome her_, she thought; _he was one of the Cullens that didn't want to see her_.

Alice reached over and took her hand, regaining her attention. "Bella, I..." she paused and, for the first time that Bella could remember, seemed nervous, "I'm so sorry. We left, and I didn't," she swallowed a dry sob, "I didn't even say good bye."

Bella tried to smile at her, "I know it's not you fault, I don't blame you Alice. You're back now, right, so all is forgiven."

"So," Alice almost looked shy, "we're still friends?"

"Of course," Bella grinned, trying to ignore the increasing rejection she felt about the rest of the Cullen's not wanting to be 'friends'. Alice and Esme both seemed so happy to see her, she tried to pretend that this was enough.

"Good because there are a couple of things that I bought this morning for you, so now you can try them on," Alice prattled, guiding Bella away from her truck, in the direction of the house. Esme closed the truck door and was followed but Bella resisted, leaning against the hood of her truck.

"So, where were you until a few days ago?" Bella tried to ask casually, not wanting to go any where near the house.

Alice dropped Bella's hand, placing her fists firmly on her hips. They stared at each other for a few seconds, testing each other's level of stubbornness, and then Alice smiled and leaned against the truck next to Bella.

"We were in Denali the last few weeks, since the end of winter."

"And before that?" Bella prompted, hoping to continue to distract Alice from dress-ups.

Alice and Esme both talked about the family's activities in the months since they had left Forks, Carlisle had been working in Ithaca, and teaching part time at Cornell. Esme had just finished restoring a seventeenth century house, and Jasper had been studying at Cornell as well, finishing a degree in philosophy. Emmett and Rosalie had just returned from another honeymoon in Europe when they had met the rest of the family in Denali for Cornell's spring break. And Alice had completed some personal research about the life she had no memory of.

"My name was Mary Alice Brandon," Alice said quietly, "I had a little sister named Cynthia. Her daughter- my niece- is still alive in Biloxi."

When Bella had exhausted all the questions she could ask about all but one of the family, and they had told her even their trivial news, Alice suggested that they go into the house.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, I don't want to cause any more arguments." Bella couldn't bear to see the look on Edward's face if she intruded any further.

Alice glared towards the house, before sighing, "I doubt there will be any thing will stop arguments today, so I think I'm needed there soon," she looked back at Bella, concern filling her eyes, "I'll be right back, I want to ask you something about another vision I had and you still haven't explained what you told Carlisle at the hospital."

Bella grabbed at Alice's arm before she moved further into the forest, "Don't go yet. What did he tell you I said?"

"He said you mentioned Victoria," Esme answered behind her, "have you really seen her, Bella?"

When Bella nodded both vampires stepped closer to her, their eyes surveying the surrounding forest, "Well at least, we are here to protect you now."

"I haven't been unprotected, Jacob has kept Victoria away until now." Bella insisted, before she realised that they wouldn't know who or _what_ Jacob was.

"How could this _Jacob_ protect you from Victoria?" Alice demanded.

"Well, Jacob is sort of strong. All the boys at La Push are" Bella hesitated, wondering who her greatest allegiance was to? She knew that she couldn't keep secrets, Jacob knew everything, why shouldn't Alice too? "Since you've left, some things have changed."

Alice and Esme exchanged a meaningful look, "So our suspicions were true, the boys of La Push, they are --" Esme started

"Werewolves," Bella said quietly.

"It's unbelievable, Bella," Alice added, "that when the local vampires leave town, you still manage to keep the monsters around you."

Bella frowned at her, "Jacob's not a monster, and he's my friend. My _best_ friend lately. And if it wasn't for those boys, those_ werewolves_, Victoria would have gotten me by now. Well, Laurent would have gotten me before she could--"

"Laurent?" Alice hissed while Esme looked at her surprised. Bella nodded again, alarmed by their reactions. She assumed that they had been in Denali, and so they must have known Laurent was missing. Bella quickly explained about the time that she first saw Jacob as a werewolf, when she had last seen Laurent.

"Our leaving didn't do any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured.

"For any of us," Esme agreed, staring in the direction of the house.

"That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit." Bella watched as Esme's sad face change into a frown. Alice also scowled in the direction of house. Worried she had just started another argument, Bella stood straight, brushing the dust off her pants. "It's getting late."

Alice pulled her into a protective hug, "You shouldn't be alone, with Victoria around. I'd go with you, but…" She scowled at the house again.

Bella's heart almost broke at the realisation that while she was leaving to avoid seeing Edward again, Alice wouldn't be able to visit her. She knew Edward didn't want to see her, but she hadn't been convinced until now that would keep his family from her too. "I don't want to leave--" she tried to explain

"Then stay," Esme encouraged, rubbing Bella's shoulder. Alice stared at Bella with pleading eyes.

"No, it wouldn't be right if I did." Bella said reluctantly. She wouldn't be welcomed into the Cullen house by the one Cullen who she wanted to welcome her, so she wouldn't go to the house but she couldn't help voicing her disappointment at leaving their company, "though I wish you could visit me."

"Do you think I could come over to your house, maybe tonight?" Alice seemed hopeful, yet insistent that she receive Bella's permission to visit.

"Sure, if you think _he_ will be ok with you visiting," Bella agreed while hugging Esme goodbye, ignoring Alice's puzzled face. She didn't want to start another fight, but she did want to see Alice again.

"So you'll check that Charlie won't oppose to me visiting?" Alice asked, seeming worried.

"No, I wasn't thinking of Charlie," Bella now puzzled, climbing into her truck, "besides why would he oppose? Charlie likes you."

Alice didn't seem convinced by Bella reassurances, and even Esme looked unsure but Bella barely noticed, she was almost ecstatic by the promise of Alice visiting. As she drove away however she started to wonder about what Esme had implied- could their absence been as bad for the Cullens, for_ Edward,_ as it had been for her? She couldn't be sure, but she felt certain now that their return, like their departure, was not for her. The tiny flame of hope she had of a renewed relationship with Edward died, nothing, not even Alice visiting later, could have persuaded her that Edward had come back for her.

* * *

**A/N:** If it wasn't clear, poor Bella believes/is convinced that Edward does not want to see her, miss her or has not returned for her. Raise your hand if you think she's wrong!?


	9. Chapter 8: Longing

**AN: **The rating of this story has been changed to allow for some content and language in this chapter. Don't hesitate to review if you think it needs to be toned down!

Thank you Petites sorcieres, BB's girls, Artemis of Luna, Yes Exactly my brand of heroine, twilightdaydream, off-the-deep-end, Anuddaone, debcripps, edwardmyantidrug and EpisodeSkywalker for the reviews- you guys rock my socks

**

* * *

**

Chapter 8: Longing

_Blood. Warm, so very warm, and still pulsing, flowing. Still alive. _Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but that didn't stop the images in his mind, the sensations tingling through his body, making venom pool in his mouth. _Soft, pale flesh, mounded in his hands, pressed against his lips. Tempting him, testing his self control. All he had to do was open his mouth and bite, his teeth were pressing against that skin- hard enough to bruise, but not breaking that fragile layer that protected what he desired. Beneath that wonderfully scented skin he could almost taste, could already smell her blood..._

_Her?_ Edward had a rational thought. _Her? Who could 'her' be? _

He glanced at Emmett wondering where these thoughts were coming from. Emmett had dropped the game controller and was staring at the wall. His breathing had quickened and his eyes were black. He looked back at Edward out of those deep chasms.

_But we fed last night?_Emmett thoughts were confused and still filled with the monster, the siren in them all. If Emmett could feel it too, then...feel, they were picking up someone's feelings.

"Jasper," They both said, and suddenly they were running, running after their brother. Jasper was projecting a hunger that was almost overwhelming. He had hunted with them last night, but now he stood at a precipice of sinful longing, with the monster below calling up to him and he was about to fall. He wasn't in front of the house, where they had left him. _Where are you, Jasper?_ Edward thought.

"Jasper?" Emmett bellowed as they raced across to the field, towards the center of this emotional storm. When they reached the trees the sensations increased, like it was torrential rain and they were drowning in the flood, Emmett called out again, "what are you doing, Jas?"

Edward's mind was suddenly clear, those concentrated sensations rapidly disapeared. Jasper was trying to shield it from them now. He could still hear Jasper's thoughts like whispering in his mind but Edward ignored them, in a desperate hope that '_she'_, Jasper's unfortunate victim, was still alive. From '_her'_ mind Edward heard nothing, which made him move through the trees faster, towards where he could still hear a heartbeat.

"Don't do it Jasper!" Edward threatened. _Don't ruin this please, _he begged internally.Edward hadn't yet had the chance to see Bella, he didn't want to leave without that chance. But if Jasper had done what he had been thinking about, had been feeling, then they would have to leave. Again.

Edward could see Jasper now, but couldn't see the 'her'. When Jasper took a step forward he no longer seemed to be hunting but Emmett got ready to charge. Edward was about to move when Jasper's thoughts exploded into his mind.

_BELLA! No! Please! Wait!_

Edward for a moment wondered if Jasper was picking up the desperation he had been feeling, and therefore had thought about Bella too, before he and Emmett moved as one, tackling Jasper into the dirt. Emmett ran into Jasper's legs, so hard that he could have broken bones on a human. Edward ducked Jasper's left hook, as he tried to stop Jasper from hitting Emmett with his right fist. Fighting like this was something the brothers did casually and Edward didn't have to read Jasper's thoughts to know what moves he would use against them.

"I wasn't going to!" Jasper insisted, his face now in the dirt. Edward held both of his arms behind his head, restraining but not hurting. Emmett sat astride his lower body, preventing Jasper from moving his legs. Jasper stopped struggling, defeat in his voice as he repeated, "I wasn't going to."

Screeching brakes reminded Edward that they were not alone, and he turned hoping to see Jasper's victim escaping. A familiar red Chevy had stopped inches from the hood of Rosalie's BMW. Edward dropped Jasper's arms.

Bella sat behind the wheel of the monstrous vehicle, but she wasn't facing him, she was looking behind her. Edward froze, ignoring Rosalie, who was yelling at Alice. Ignoring Jasper, who was calling up to him. Bella turned slowly, and the world stopped as his eyes met hers.

Her eyes were watery, but still that chocolate depth he wanted to fall into. Her cheeks were tear-stained, but still glowed with a natural blush. Her lips formed a small 'O' of surprise and she too froze, staring at him. As he focused on the sound of her heart-beat, Edward would always be grateful for that moment, where he could drink her in and remember exactly why he couldn't stay away. In that moment he remembered all the little yet important ways that he loved her.

But moments don't last forever.

And when it ended, the monster in him took advantage of Edward's lack of concentration, at the weakness in his hard earned control. It roared to life as her scent engulfed him and reminded Edward of the sensations Jasper had project only minutes before. The monster stepped towards the truck, enjoying the fear in her eyes. He could already taste her in his mouth, feel the tempting softness of her skin at his finger tips. He wanted to pull her head back and kiss along the sensitive skin of her jaw until he reached the pulse in her neck. And then, the monster's thoughts were so violent, Edward almost lost all control. He wanted to bite into that neck, to release the ebb and flow of her blood, to consume it all.

Bella, still in the truck, within his reach, crumbled, wrapping her arms around her waist. Tears fell heavy and fast from her eyes and she hid her face against the driving wheel. Edward, in anguish, stopped walking towards the truck. She was his only love, and she was in such pain. The monster screamed in his head that she was only prey, and he could end her pain. Edward's whole body shook in an attempt to gain control, as the sensations of longing to both love and feed flooded his entire being.

Alice was suddenly there, her small but strong hands pinning his back to a tree. Emmett was struggling to hold one of his arms, and Jasper trying to catch his other as Edward tried to push his little sister away. They were all yelling, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. He couldn't even hear their thoughts that were also screaming in his mind. All he could hear was Bella's heart, racing like a piston, as she cried in the cab of her truck. It was Esme's hands of either side of his face, cool and hard, that started to bring him back.

"Breathe, Edward."

Edward breathed, but all he could smell was Bella. Esme stood in front of him, blocking his view of the truck, but he closed his eyes and could see Bella. The monster growled in his head. That growl rumbled out Edward's throat.

"Come on, Edward. Please, gain control, you can do it." The trust, the faith, the belief that Esme had in him scared the monster. It didn't understand such feelings, couldn't compete with them and like a dog with it's tail between it's legs, it fled. Edward stopped struggling against his brothers and sister.

"Well, some things never change." Rosalie stood by her car, "you shouldn't have to resist that urge, Edward."

"Shut up, Rosalie," Jasper didn't even look at her, holding onto Edward's arm.

"Oh, you can talk!" Rosalie yelled back at him, "we were _miles_ away and could feel your longing. It's lucky we had already left the shopping centre!"

" I couldn't let Edward feel her pain, so I projected my own desires." Jasper let go of Edward's arm and whirled to face Rosalie. Emmett also let go, grabbing at Jasper's arm.

"Why was she in pain, Jasper?" Emmett demanded.

Jasper shook Emmett off and looked at Edward. "You know that I'd never hurt Bella, right?"

Edward was speechless. He didn't want to think about Jasper's insecurity or Rosalie's prejudice. Now that the monster had fled, all he wanted to was to go to Bella. To wrap his arms around her and never let go. She was still crying in the cab, leaning heavily against the wheel.

"He knows you wouldn't, Jasper." Alice said quietly and Esme nodded, letting go of Edward's face.

"You can let go, Alice. I won't hurt her either." Edward said quietly. Alice closed her eyes, a distant look covering her face. Edward waited, watching Rosalie and Emmett drive the BMW around the truck and to the house. He could hear them arguing, even when they were out of sight. Esme walked to the truck, laying one hand against the glass window, watching Bella. Jasper had moved as far away from the truck as possible, without leaving the clearing. Alice finally opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"You won't hurt her," Alice replied, still holding him in place, "as a vampire. But that's not the only way she can be in pain, Edward."

"Get off me, Alice," Edward said angrily, but she shook her head.

"Go back to the house, Edward. Let me talk to her, she needs a friend right now. Please."

"I won't ask a third time," Edward didn't want to force Alice to move. He didn't want to go back to the house, he wanted to be with Bella.

"Look at her, Edward," Alice was almost begging him, as they all watched the fragile human they both loved, shaking with sobs in the truck. The engine stalled and died.

"I know I rarely disagree with Alice, Ed, but she _is_ right. Bella didn't get upset until you came out of the house to get Emmett." Jasper spoke quietly, hands in his pockets.

They could all hear Bella's sobs now, Esme wretched open the door of the truck. She looked like she wanted to hug Bella. Edward realised that he wasnt the only one who loved Bella. Who could have comforted her, and welcomed her back to the house, to the family. The monster began to whisper excitedly as a new wave of Bella's scent drifted around him, but he beat it down, remembering his mother's, his family's faith in him. He nodded his head, understanding that space might benefit both he and Bella at the moment.

"I need to talk to her though," he said to Alice quietly. She nodded, letting go and walking towards the truck.

"We'll calm her down and bring her to the house. But when she's ready, Edward," Esme reassured him quietly. Edward nodded forlornly as he let Jasper lead him through the trees. Glancing back, he smiled as Bella pulled Alice into a hug. And then the thought occurred to Edward, _Jasper said, she didn't get upset until I came out of the house_. _What if Bella hadn't come to see me?_

* * *

Minutes that felt like eternity passed by. Edward stared out the front window, waiting impatiently. He hugged himself, because his arms longed to be around her, but he had to wait. By the time he and Jasper had reached the front door, he felt more assured that he had leashed his inner monster. Being away from Bella for those few minutes had cemented his ability to deny that hunger. He had other problems, other emotions to deal with now. Bella was upset and crying because of him. Jasper had been trying to cheer him up, but Edward wanted to wallow in a sea of misery. _After all_ he thought, _I've created this sea. A sea of her tears._

Emmett had dragged Rosalie away from the garage- concerned she would do something that she would regret to her BMW. And he was scared of an angry Rosalie with a tool in her hand. She sat on one of the lounges, filing her perfect manicure and glaring at the three boys.

"She won't come," Rosalie hissed in Edward's direction. "We should have left last year, before you had made any attachment, or got rid of her earlier. Then maybe, we could still --"

"Rosalie, why don't you just --" Jasper drawled

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP, JASPER! Why didn't you just let her leave like she was trying to?!"

"Because I thought that if she left, Edward would NEVER get the chance to see her! She was so scared, she would never visit us again! Edward's not allowed to visit Chief Swan's house --"

"With good reason, obviously. That human is an emotional wreck! All because she SAW Edward from a distance. What would she have done if he had turned up on her doorstep like he wanted to?" Rosalie threw the nail file at the couch nearest Jasper, and a pillow exploded into a cloud of feathers.

"Well , it doesn't matter any more, because as soon as Chief Swan hears that she broke down from seeing Edward, he'll run us out of town- as promised." Emmett rumbled. "Why make Esme mad too, Rose?"

The three stood in different corners of the room, yelling at each other, but Edward blocked it out, staring desperately at the far end of the field. He didn't think he could wait much longer. Bella was upset and he wanted to believe that all he had to do was apologise, tell her he loved her, and she would be OK. But he was plagued with worry that Rosalie was right, it wouldn't be so simple to have a second chance at love.

Edward gripped the window sill so hard it began to crack. He was still furious that Charlie had threatened Carlisle, because Carlisle had made Edward promise to let Bella visit them first, even thought Edward refused to believe Bella would fall apart if he turned up at her window one night.

In the months while he was alone, Edward selfishly only allowed himself to think of Bella happy without him. Because if she was miserable, it would suggest that he meant more to her than Edward had wanted to believe. Which meant by leaving, he hurt her.

While they were apart, Edward refused to think that he _had _hurt her. To make the decision to lie and leave her had destroyed a part of him. If he had hurt Bella by leaving, he should be destroyed entirely but she had done _nothing_ to deserve that pain.

Once Edward had decided to return, all he could believe was that they would be reunited, that Bella would welcome him back into her life and there would be no challenge greater than Mike Newtown. His family's excitement at returning had become so infectious, it had been easy to convince himself that Bella would be fine and they would be happy together once more.

In the minutes waiting in the front room, Edward thought about her sitting in the truck, crying because he had been standing a few feet away and he knew that he had punished her for loving him, had hurt her by leaving and he was unsure if she would let him back into her life.

Edward decided then that he would do _anything _and _everything _to apologise for the last few months. And if she did accept him, despite his lies and mistakes, he would never leave her again. If there was any chance she would accept him, it would be that Bella would come back to the house with Alice and Esme.

So Edward watched out the front window, ignoring his siblings, who were now yelling at each other from different rooms in the house. Edward waited, praying, though he doubted that a vampire's prayers would be heard. Edward wallowed in doubt and fear knowing the sight of Bella would fill him with hope. Everything he was, could ever be, was charged into a longing for Bella to appear in the distant trees.

Movement at the edge of the forest- closer to the house aroused his attention. Alice and Esme appeared in the growing shadows of the trees. They walked slowly to the house and he saw that Bella was not with them.

* * *

**AN:**I LOVE writing from Edwards pov- so he may control the next couple of chapters. I know this chapter was long and went back into the story a bit- from here on out I'll try to move forward.


	10. Chapter 9: Determination

**A/N: **Thank you so much to twilightdaydream, petites sorcieres, Annudaone, NoMoreThanUsual, edwardmyantidrug and EpisodeSkywalker (A.K.K The Flash XD) for the reviews. They set up HUGE expectations which made this chapter a little hard to write. So I hope the following meet those anticipations. Thank you as well to Eleniel Cullen who reviews got me thinking about the story and perhaps changing the next couple of chapters (i.e. making the story longer)!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 9: Determination

Edward slipped his fingers across the piano keys and closed his eyes, trying not to think, not to hear the voices and thoughts of his family. Outside, Esme and Alice had stopped walking, and he knew that they were waiting for Carlisle- who was returning late from work. They were both thinking about how sad and broken Bella looked, wondering why she wouldn't visit their home.

The melody Edward played was soft and gentle, it's rhythm was the pace he remembered Bella's heart-beat would be as she slept. He hummed her lullaby as his fingers danced around the keyboard, uncertain that she still remembered this piece or that he would ever hum it for her again.

The door opened, but Edward kept his eyes closed, concentrating on pouring his feelings of loss and longing through his fingers, into the music. He changed the melody without a thought, playing from memory a tune he had composed in his mind during those days and nights he had spent alone. The music said all the apologies he hadn't, all the words he had wanted to say rather than goodbye. All the truths he should have told, rather than lying.

_Edward, we need to talk. _Carlisle's thoughts were mere whispers in his mind.

"That's beautiful," Esme said softly, "What is it called?"

Edward didn't respond to either of his parents. Alice brushed against his shoulder as she read the sheet music on the piano.

"Bella by Moonlight," she breathed, and as if on cue the melody changed under Edward's fingertips. It became darker and desolate, filled with rage and hunger. His family remained silent as the piece ended with dramatic, foreboding chords and Edward opened his eyes.

Alice sat next to him on the piano bench, while his parents remained in the entry way. Esme was resting her head against Carlisle's chest.

"What's wrong?" he whispered against her hair. She shook her head, and Edward heard from her thoughts, _how can love cause such pain?_

As Edward watched, Carlisle raised Esme's face to his with a finger under her chin and kissed her lips, the barest of brushes. For decades Edward watched affectionate exchanges between Carlisle and Esme on a regular basis and had cherished them. To witness love so blissful had been a blessing for him. Now it was a curse, a reminder of what he had lost.

_No_, Edward thought,_ what I have thrown away._

He turned from them, unable to watch, and looked at Alice with angry eyes.

"I needed to talk to her," he commented, accusingly.

Alice sighed, playing with a feather which had floated across the piano keys.

"It didn't matter what we said Edward, she wouldn't come back to the house."

"You could have let me know, I could have --" Edward tried to argue.

"She? Who?" Carlisle interrupted, his arms still around Esme.

"Bella visited today," Esme mumbled into his chest, then she pulled away, "What did _you_ do today? You're clothes have a stench like..." Esme made a strange face before she noticed the mess of feathers and looked dismayed."I really liked that cushion," she said softly before moving to pick up the loose feathers.

"Why didn't you try to tell me she was leaving , Alice? You knew that I wanted to speak to Bella." Edward asked as they both bent to collect feathers. Alice paused for a second and then stood straight, looking at Edward.

"Bella's a mess, I told you she needed a friend."

"Alice, I thought we all agreed to let Edward do what he thought was right?" Carlisle frowned at both of them.

Alice screwed her hands into fists and glared at both Carlisle and Edward "Yes we did, and we left because Edward said it was right. And now Bella --"

"We left to protect Bella," Edward was still convinced that leaving had been the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurt to leave. "Every moment I spent with her, _we _spent with her, made us drop our guard a little more. She was in danger with us around!"

"She was still in danger after we left," Alice grumbled, before she stomped quickly up the stairs.

"What is THAT supposed to mean?" Edward yelled after her retreating figure before turning towards his parents, "What danger!?"

Esme sighed, stuffing the feathers into the ruined cushion cover and looking up at Carlisle. "You thought that Bella was just babbling at the hospital, but she wasn't."

"I know," Carlisle sighed and walked back to where his briefcase sat by the door. He pulled a newspaper from the side pocket and handed it to Edward.

Edward stared at the front page of the newspaper- wondering what his parents were trying to tell him. _When had Carlisle seen Bella at the hospital, _he thought.

The article that Carlisle showed him was discussing recent bear attacks on hikers in the area and was advising locals to remain indoors or away from the forests after dark. There was a series of names of missing hikers and a description of the bear. There was also a shorter paragraph about a body that had been found- that the police believed was a victim of the monstrous bear. But the police were confused by the strange bite marks on the arms and neck of the dismembered remains.  
Edward's instincts screamed that the perpetrator of the attacks was a carnivorous vampire.

"Bella is convinced that Victoria has been in the area for the last few months," Carlisle said softly while Edward stared at the newspaper.

"And before Victoria, Laurent tried to attack her," Esme added, placing a gentle hand of Edward's shoulder.

Edward violently scrunched the paper into a ball and threw it across the room. It left a dent in the far wall.

"Laurent _tried _to." Edward was horrified that he had left Bella to such circumstances. "What prevented him before he...? "

Edward couldn't bear to think of his Bella being hurt by another vampire. He began to remember the panic and the frustration of the days almost a year ago when they had chased and fought James, who had been tracking Bella.

"Geez, what STINKS?" Emmett exclaimed as he thumped down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. "It smells just like those Quileutes back when they were werewolves."

Edward froze, scenting the air around Carlisle. "_You_ smell like werewolves." He looked at Esme, not wanting to believe what she was thinking. "Laurent didn't hurt Bella, because of werewolves?"

"Some of the boys from La Push have started to..." Esme made an odd gesture with her hand. Edward understood she didn't really know how to explain the werewolves transformations.

"And I had a meeting with the leader of the pack this afternoon," Carlisle answered, smelling his shirt. "I suppose I should change clothes."

Edward followed him up the stairs, with Esme close behind.

"Just the leader?" Esme asked, evidently worried, "alone?"

"No, he wasn't alone. But I was." Carlisle turned and smiled at the both, "they're barely teenagers, Esme, I could have protected myself if I needed to."

"Young werewolves! There are young werewolves in Forks! And they've been near Bella" Edward gripped the banister before Esme moved his hand.

"Please Edward, can we keep the damage minimal?" Esme smiled at him before following Carlisle further up the stairs.

"Oh, there's was one thing that the Quileutes wanted to know," Carlisle said, turning around to face Edward. From Carlisle's mind, Edward saw a tall, brown eyed man standing in a hospital hallway, he seemed to vibrate from energy and emotion._ At first they thought we were here to help Victoria- but I made it very clear that we want to stop her as much as they do._

Edward nodded an agreement, angered that the pack would think they would try to hurt Bella. He met his father's eyes noticing an edge of eagerness to their calm. "Edward, they wanted to know how long we would be staying in Forks." Carlisle said, in his mind he added, _I thought you would like to make that decision for yourself, before I consult the rest of the family about staying._

* * *

Edward sat on the roof, staring out across the trees of the forest. He had hoped the fresh air would clear the devastation he was feeling. He had left to protect Bella, he had punished them both for months so that she would be safe. And in those months she had been threatened by Laurent, Victoria and werewolves. The falling twilight had never felt less peaceful.

"The moon will be full in a couple of days." Alice stood on the ridge of the roof, looking down at him.

Edward gripped his head in his hands."This is all my fault. Bella's a mess because I made us leave and she's had crazy vampires and young werewolves threatening her life."

Alice sat next to him, moving the roof tiles he had shattered in rage_._

"Don't be so dramatic, Bella doesn't seem to think of the wolves as a threat" she said and from Alice's thoughts Edward could see the glow in Bella's eyes as she mentioned Jacob, when she called the werewolf her friend. Edward wrapped an arm around Alice's smaller shoulders, wondering what that friendship meant to Bella. If she had moved on as he suggested, jealously and horror slowly growing in him at Bella in danger by being close to a young werewolf.

"She always was a danger magnet, but who would have thought Bella would be friends with a _werewolf_" Alice commented thoughtfully. Edward continued to mull in his thoughts. It was true that he couldn't have known what danger he was leaving Bella exposed to, but he knew he was responsible and couldn't leave Forks without ensuring Bella was safe.

_But then she is in love with a vampire. _Alice thoughts interrupted his again.

_Or __**was**__ in __love. _Edward added to himself. She had left without seeing him today, would he ever get the chance to prove to Bella that he had lied, that he loved her.

They sat there for a few minutes, Alice pointing to stars as they came out, Edward still lost in a sea of thoughts. In the last few months, he had made so many mistakes, he knew he deserved to lose his only love. After all, that was why he had left- so Bella would have a normal, safe life. But she hadn't been safe in his absence, she had been hunted by vampires that _he _had exposed her to. And _she_ had pursued the company of young werewolves. Edward ran his hands through his hair out of frustration- Bella had _promised _she wouldn't take any risks. And Edward, in the months he was away had tried tracking Victoria, who had been in Forks all along. Victoria should have lead him exactly where he wanted to be, where he was meant to be.

Edward knew that he couldn't decide whether to stay or leave Forks until he would be sure that Bella was safe, and he doubted he could do anything about the werewolves without breaking the treaty. But he was sure that he could destroy Victoria and her threat to Bella's life. Edward suddenly felt a surge of calm with this determination to find Victoria and make sure she never got to Bella. He turned to Alice, and noticed that her eyes were closed.

"What will happen when we leave?" He asked her softly, hoping her thoughts would tell him if Bella would be ok if they left again. Wondering if defeating Victoria would be enough to convince Bella of his love.

Alice looked at him, her eyes full of confrontation. "We will stay."

Edward glared at her in frustration. "I haven't made that decision yet, Alice, I only know that we will stay until Victoria is gone. If we leave after that, what will happen?"

Alice smiled and stood up so quickly some of the shattered tiles slid off the roof. She held out her hand, wiggling her fingers as encouragement for him to take it.

"I don't know. But right now, you're going to visit Bella."

* * *

**A/N**: Yay ExB chapter coming up! Ok I'm request reviews which give a rating out of 10 again- pwease. 16 days til Breaking Dawn!


	11. Chapter 10: Bella by Moonlight

**A/N**: Just cause I like you all sooo much, I'm giving you TWO chapters, at once. (Yay happy dance)- but they are the same events, just 2 different POV

I'd like to thank those fab reviewers Kolored, MadeleineJade, aglblsm,thrufirewithoutaburn, i'm.dazzled., edwardmyantidrug, kellicolleen, Eleniel Cullen, NoMoreThankUsual, Anuddaone, twilightdaydream, petites sorcieres and NicolieTheGoalie. I LOVE reviews- especially critical ones.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Bella By Moonlight**

Edward walked the trip to Charlie Swan's house considering all the possible reasons for Alice to insist he visit. If he thought Bella was in danger, he would have ran- but Alice hadn't been worried, hadn't even wanted to go with him. She simply insisted that he go to Bella. So he walked there, trying to prepare himself, to plan all of the things that he needed to say, so that they wouldn't spill out of his mouth as a mess. It had started to rain as he passed by the main part of the town and was falling heavier the closer he got to Bella.

Charlie's cruiser was not in the drive way, making Edward concerned- Bella shouldn't be in the house, alone, after dark. He circled the house from the forest, and found a clear view of she through the window of the only light-filled room, the kitchen.

Bella was moving around in front of the window, preparing dinner and crying, sad tears coursing down her cheeks. Edward wanted to reach out and wipe those tears away, to kiss those cheeks and see her smile. Before he could move any closer to the house, the sound of an engine alerted him to what should have been Charlie's arrival, but the thoughts from the front were not Charlie's.

_I should tell her tonight_, the over-grown, dark-haired man sat in the small car, psyching himself up, _she deserves to know that they are here, though I doubt they will want anything to do with her. Not after the way that boy left her. No regard for anyone but themselves, damn leeches._

Edward recognised Jacob Black, though in the months since the school prom he had grown from a boy to a man. Jacob moved from the car to the house with the same quivering energy that the leader of the werewolves had, in Carlisle's memory. As he stood waiting for Bella to answer the front door, Jacob thought about her, making Edward cringe. His memories moved through images of a Bella, lethargic and lifeless, of her crying and broken, sending waves of guilt washing through Edward, to an excited and happy Bella, holding Jacob's hand, smiling up at him. Edward stood paralyzed in the rain- he didn't doubt this werewolf was in love with his Bella, why wouldn't he be? But now Edward was even more sure that Bella returned those feelings.

When she opened the door, Bella was happy to see Jacob, so Edward gripped the closest tree and pulled. Uprooting the pine made him feel better, but it didn't erase the last memory he saw from Jacob's mind, of Bella asleep in his arms. Trying to control his anguish, Edward listened as they moved back to the kitchen, Jacob was concerned about Bella's red eyes, persistantly asking her why she was crying.

"I've just been chopping onions, Jake, and you know how that makes my eyes water," Edward could see Bella's weak smile through the kitchen window. "I was making dinner when you knocked, would you like to stay to eat?"

Jacob didn't respond for a second, taking Bella's hand, leading her to one of the chairs. Edward crushed a pine-cone in his hands, wishing it was the werewolf's head. "Sit down, Bella, I don't think you should be near sharp knives when you hear this."

Edward wanted to laugh at Jacob, preparing to shock Bella with something she already knew, with news of his return. Bella also tried to distract Jacob, arguing she was prefectly competent with knives.

"Charlie won't be coming home for dinner, so don't worry about it. You might not want to eat soon any way."

Edward froze, seeing from Jacob's mind that the news was not what he expected. Bella banged the pot she was holding on the table, before looking at Jacob. "Where's Charlie?" She asked, fear filling her voice.

"He's at the Clearwaters, with Sue. He sent me to tell you, Harry Clearwater died last night of a heart-attack."

"Oh no," Bella sounded devastated, "Dad's with Sue? Where are Seth and Leah? Are they OK? Shouldn't we go to La Push and..." Bella stood up so quickly she lost her balance and Jacob pulled her onto his lap. Edward tried to ignore her ease in that position. They sat there, lost for words for a few minutes then Bella seemed to rise out of her stupor and climbed away from Jacob's embrace.

"Thanks for letting me know, Jake, I feel so bad for Charlie and the Clearwaters, shouldn't we should go to La Push?"

Jacob hestitated, sniffing the air and staring out the window. Edward tried to hide in the shadows as Jacob thought, _there's a bloodsucker here tonight, I can't leave Bella here alone but she shouldn't go outside either._

"No, Bells. There's something else we needed to talk about, remember, I asked you this morning?"

"Oh, yeah," Bella didn't sound like she wanted this talk with Jacob. Edward wondered if it was about him, or about _them_. He gripped a rock so hard it turned to dust as Jacob pulled Bella back to a seat and caressed her face gently.

Then Jacob stopped, his hand covering Bella's cheek. Bella's eyes darted nervously around the room, looking any where but at the werewolf in front of her. Edward realised that he had moved forward out of the trees, closer to the house, was almost pressed against the glass of the window. Jacob looked out the window, meeting Edward's eyes for a fleeting second, before Bella began to turn, to look and Edward moved back into the shadows.

"Where were you today, Bella? We tried to find you and couldn't," Jacob stood, turning away from Bella, peering out of the window. From his thoughts, Edward knew the Jacob could no longer see him, and couldn't tell if what he could smell was Edward outside, or Bella's clothes.

Bella hesitated, "I, uh... I --"

Jacob spun around, his back covering Edward's view through the window, his body shaking slightly. "You saw _them_." He spat out the last word like it tasted disgusting.

"Them, who?" Bella tried to be coy, but Edward was worried that she wasn't running, screaming from the room. Typical Bella, thinking and reacting completely different to what was expected. He wanted desperately to break into the house and protect her, as she was now in a tiny kitchen, with a werewolf who was losing control. If Jacob lost all control, he could seriously hurt or even kill Bella.

"The _Cullens_" Jacob said the name, rolling the end into a growl. "You found out they were here, and you saw them."

"Yes, I did," Bella answered quietly, "they are my friends and I was happy to see them again."

Edward was enraged that Bella sounded so guilty for visiting his family. What right did Jacob have to censure Bella?

"What if they were here to hurt you, Bella? What if they are helping that other bloodsucker?" Jacob practically yelled. He was pacing the length of the small kitchen now, his shadow moving across the light of the window every couple of seconds. This fueled Edward's rage, how dare Jacob imagine him or his family to be working with Victoria, especially after what Carlisle told the pack.

"The Cullens would _never_ try to hurt me!" Bella yelled back, then added "not on purpose, any way."

Edward cringed with this side note. He hadn't tried to, but he had hurt her.

"How can you be so ridiculous? All leeches are the same, Bella! And tonight you stink of them, your friends! That's why he's..." Jacob's rant ended suddenly and Edward heard from his thoughts that he wasn't sure if Edward really was outside the house. Jacob was trying to convince himself that he had imagined seeing Edward.

In the tense silence the phone rang suddenly, making Bella jump. She answered it with shaking hands.

"Hello?" Bella was trying to sound calm, but Jacob was still shaking, energy rolling off him in waves. "Oh hi Billy. I'm so sorry to hear about Harry. How is Sue?"

Edward couldn't hear the response, but he figured the Quileute elder dodged the question because Bella responded, "Yes, he's here. OK I will, thanks Billy. Good night."

Bella replaced the phone and stared up at Jacob, "Charlie left La Push ten minutes ago, so you can go home now. He'll be here soon, so you don't need to stay."

"I'm not leaving you alone." Jacob's angry response made Bella's eyes light up with anger.

"Go home, Jacob. I can look after myself,"

"Bells, I--"

"Just go Jake, I don't want you here." Bella pointed to the door.

Jacob spared one more glance out the window, before yelling "Fine, I'll leave you to the bloodsucker!" and stormed out of the house.

Edward watched him leave, not wanting a confrontation, but not wanting to hide. Bella was now staring out the window- a mix of fear and doubt crossing her face.

She opened the front door and peered out into the rain, looking small and scared in the light from the hallway, searching the darkness for the monsters. Edward wanted to know what she was thinking now more than ever. Jacob had left her with what could have been a threat, if it was Victoria hiding in the shadows. But it was only him. He had never wanted to hurt Bella, even those first days after she had moved to Forks, he had felt an intuitive desire to protect her. Now he wondered if she would welcome him as a guardian. As she closed the door, and he heard her footsteps climbing the stairs, he decided it didn't matter if she wanted his protection. He would be there, because he _should_ be there, he would watch her as she slept, follow her around school and maybe even to college. He would do whatever was necessary to ensure that Victoria, and any other monster, would never hurt Bella. And he, a monster as well, would protect her from himself, he would only every just watch over her, never expect anything more.

Not that he ever wanted to just watch, he wanted to hold her while she slept and hear her mumble his name. He wanted to throw her across his back and run as fast as possible, reveling in the way her grip would tighten around his shoulders and neck. He wanted to caress that cheek and delight in her warm blush. So many things he had missed, would long for if he was to exist only to watch over her. He loved her, but couldn't pressure her to return those feelings, could only guard her from harm. And one day, another man maybe not a Mike Newtown- possibly a Jacob Black, would love her the way he never could.  
Without thinking, he threw a punch into the closest tree. The misfortunate tree's branch snapped, banging against the wall of the house.

Bella's bedroom light turned on, like an eye opening. She stood by the window, a shadow staring out into the yard.

Edward froze, completely clear of trees for cover, he didn't doubt she could see him there, despite the dark and the rain. For a moment he panicked, not wanting to frighten her, then she opened the window and looked out, her expression cautious.

Feeling like a voyeur, Edward also decided that he would have to talk to Bella, to tell her his plans. He tried to seem casual, standing there in the rain and he suddenly recognised the poetic potential of this scene. He was Romeo, calling up to his Juliet. They had watched a movie version of the tragedy together and he had scoffed at the doomed lovers, but he had a deeper understanding of Romeo's plight now. He couldn't fulfil that potential, tonight this Romeo would not profess undying love, nor expect such a promise in return.

"Edward?"

"Bella" He breathed in response. _It is my lady, O, it is my love! O that she knew she were! _"I wanted to talk to you--" Edward started, trying to ignore the romantic words in his head, He would remain stoic and wooden.

"Wait," She interrupted him, "I'll come downstairs."

He should have stopped her, shouldn't have let her open the door, because once he was closer to her, sharing the space of the small living room with her, it was harder to be dispassionate.

"I'll get you a towel," she said, "you're soaking wet."

"I won't get a cold, Bella," he admonished taking the towel from her shaking hands and drying his arms and face.

"You wanted to talk?" She licked her lips, hiding her shaking hands behind her back and he realised that she was scared. Bella sat down, looking away and that blush he loved crept across her cheeks. He had managed to scare and embarrass her.

"I wont stay long, " Edward tried to sound reassuring, "I don't want to intrude, but you were alone and with Victoria around. I wanted you to be safe."

Bella looked up at him them, her eyes studying his face. He would have given up his ability to read every other person's mind, if only he could have read hers at the moment.

"I am... safe." She responded. "Is that all you wanted?"

"I needed to tell you, that when I heard about Victoria, I felt, " Edward paused, searching for the right word- horrified, agony, distressed, terrified. All of the words were emotive and no where near the calm approach he was trying to use. "Responsible. If you hadn't known me, or my family, you would have never ..."

He couldn't continue, Bella had wrapped her arms around her waist and stopped looking at him.

"We knew coming back was the right thing to do. We couldn't just let that..." Edward wanted to swear, but he was trying to avoid emotions. "And I wanted you to know that we will deal with her and never let her hurt you."

"I don't want to be an obligation" Bella finally spoke, but she didn't look up.

"No, not an obligation. But it wouldn't be right, I couldn't, we all couldn't just let her..."

Bella looked up at him, and stubbornly said, "I told you, I'm safe. I suppose you saw Jacob leave?"

Edward nodded.

"Well I don't need him or you to _have_ to protect me. I'm not a duty that needs to be dealt with, Edward. I do appreciate the thought, believe me. But if you're only here to _protect_ me, then I'm safe. "

Edward nodded again, accepting the rejection. "I'm going to stay nearby any way, the sooner we catch Victoria the better."

Bella stopped walking to the door, and stared at him, "Fine."

He handed her the towel, making sure that his hand touched hers. She was so warm, her skin so soft. He looked up to say goodbye and her face had blanked.

"Breathe, Bella."

She took a long shuddering breath and they stood there for a moment facing each other. His hands twitched as he resisted the chance to touch her again. He wanted to kiss her, her lips, her eyelids, her cheeks, her neck, her hands- everywhere he could. _No, protect her, expect nothing more!_ his brain commanded.

Then like breaking a spell, Edward stepped away from her and through the door and Bella closed it behind him.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Read on! Read on! Chapter 11 is waiting for you!


	12. Chapter 11: Obligated

**A/N: **I got a little excited over these chapters, too much coffee! Enjoy! **

* * *

**

**Chapter 11: Obligated**

Bella felt so frustrated, since returning from the Cullen's, she couldn't stop crying. She didn't like crying, it made her feel weak and pathetic. But the way Edward had glared at her, for the few seconds she had seen him also, made her feel weak and pathetic. How could she love someone that seemed to hate her?

Driving home, she had realised that Edward must have agreed to returning to Forks, but never planned on seeing her while there. Alice and Esme had both appeared desperate for Bella to visit the house, which convinced her that their stay in Forks would not be lengthy. That for whatever reason they had returned, it did not include seeing her.

Bella tried to stay busy, once she had returned home, folding the washing, cleaning the bathroom and then starting to cook dinner. She had started to be concerned that Charlie had not arrived home, when there was a knock at the door.

She opened the door, surprised but happy to see Jacob. She had expected that he would call, not visit, but with Charlie not yet home, she welcomed the company. She went back to cooking in the kitchen, but Jacob was saw her red eyes and began asking why she was crying.

"I've just been chopping onions, Jake, and you know how that makes my eyes water," Bella smiled weakly at him, sitting in Charlie's chair. "I was making dinner when you knocked, would you like to stay to eat?"

Jacob didn't respond for a second, but then he stood and grabbed her hand. He led her to a chair, "Sit down, Bella, I don't think you should be near sharp knives when you hear this."

"Gee, Jake, I'm not that clumsy." She tried to stand and he held her down, "Let me go! I have to make dinner for Charlie."

"Charlie won't be coming home for dinner, so don't worry about it. You might not want to eat soon any way."

Bella's heart stopped beating. "Where's Charlie?" She asked, fear filling her voice.

"He's at the Clearwaters, with Sue. He sent me to tell you, Harry Clearwater died last night of a heart-attack."

"Oh no," Bella was shocked, she had almost expected Jacob to tell her something had happened to Charlie. But Harry Clearwater, he was so young and full of life, he had a loving wife and kids, "Dad's with Sue? Where are Seth and Leah? Are they OK? Shouldn't we go to La Push and..."

Bella stood up so quickly she lost her balance and Jacob pulled her onto his lap. Bella wanted Jacob to let go, but something in the way he held her said he felt as devastated as she did. She sat still for a few moments, then carefully crawled out of his embrace.

"Thanks for letting me know, Jake, I feel so bad for Charlie and the Clearwaters, shouldn't we should go to La Push?"

Bella started to pack away the food she had got out for dinner, when she turned and noticed Jacob was smelling the air.He stared at her for a second, before standing up.

"No, Bells. There's something else we needed to talk about, remember, I asked you this morning?"

"Oh, yeah," Bella wasn't looking forward to this conversation. Would he try to kiss her again? That morning she had felt so confused, and now after seeing the Cullens, after seeing _Edward_ and knowing about Harry's death, she really wasn't in the mood to be kissed.

Jacob sat them both back down, holding her shoulders in his large hands. He ran one hand up and down her cheek, making her blush and look at anything but him. He stopped caressing her face, and just held her very still. She finally looked at him, but he was staring outside the kitchen window. She tried to turn, to see what he was staring at when he suddenly stood, going closer to that window, his body taunt with rage.

This rapid change of mood in Jacob, frightened Bella, but she kept still, wondering what he was all of a sudden mad about.

"Where were you today, Bella? We tried to find you and couldn't," He still hadn't faced her.

Bella hesitated, "I, uh... I --" How could she tell Jacob that she had seen the Cullens, that she was still hoping Alice would visit? He was suddenly so mad, but why would he be mad about her talking to Alice and Esme?

Jacob spun around, and glared at her, crossing his arms under his chest. "You saw _them_."

Bella felt like she was being interograted. Jacob's body was shaking slightly, so she tried to be evasive."Them, who?"

"The _Cullens_" Jacob said. "You found out they were here, and you saw them."

"Yes, I did," Bella answered quietly, "they are my friends and I was happy to see them again." Why did she feel so guilty under Jacob's gaze? Was it because she still wanted to see a certain Cullen?

"What if they were here to hurt you, Bella? What if they are helping that other bloodsucker?" Jacob practically yelled. He was pacing the length of the small kitchen now, his feet making heavy, angry sounds on the floor.

"The Cullens would _never_ try to hurt me!" Bella argued, now angry but added " not on purpose, any way."

She didn't think Jacob heard the last part, he was still fuming.

"How can you be so ridiculous? All leeches are the same, Bella! And tonight you stink of them, your friends!" Jacob almost sneered at her, then mumbled " That's why he's..."

Bella stood up, aggravated. _Ridiculous,_ she thought. He said that she was _ridiculous_. He accused people she trusted and loved of wanting to hurt her and then insulted her. Bella wanted to slap Jacob, but she was scared a sudden move would set him off again. His hands were fists in an effort to gain control. Visions of Emily's scarred face filled Bella's mind.

In the tense silence the phone rang suddenly, making Bella jump. She answered it with shaking hands.

"Hello?" Bella put extra effort to keep her voice calm, maybe it was Alice calling to ask if she could come over now.

"Hi Bella, it's Billy."

"Oh hi Billy," Bella responded, glaring at Jacob. "I'm so sorry to hear about Harry. How is Sue?"

"Well, I was just on my way to find out. Is Jacob there?"

"Yes, he is here." Bella pushed Jacob's hand away, as he tried to grab the phone from her.

"Well you can let him know that Charlie just left La Push ten minutes ago, he'll be home soon and my _son_ is_ still _grounded. So I'll expect to see him at the Clearwaters."

"OK, I will, thanks Billy. Good night"

Billy hung up the phone without saying good night and Bella felt horrible for fighting with Jacob while their father's were grieving.

Bella replaced the phone and stared up at Jacob, "Charlie left La Push ten minutes ago, so you can go home now. He'll be here soon, so you don't need to stay." She tried not to sound angry, but Jacob was standing over her like a bodyguard.

"I'm not leaving you alone." Jacob's angry response made Bella want to argue with him.

"Go home, Jacob. I can look after myself,"

"Bells, I have to --"

"Just go Jake, I don't want you here." Bella pointed to the door. Jacob needed to leave before one of them said something they would both regret.

Jacob glanced out the window as he stomped to the front door. He opened the door, but before he left he yelled "Fine, I'll leave you to the bloodsucker!"

Bella froze, wondering what Jacob could have meant by that. If Victoria was outside and waiting for Jacob to leave, Bella wanted to dash out to his car and beg Jacob to stay. As Bella looked out the kitchen window, she saw no hair the colour of flames, no blood-red eyes in the darkness. She couldn't believe Jacob would leave with Victoria near by.

Then another vampire must be out in the darkness, waiting for Jacob to leave. Bella felt a surge of excitement that she would have Alice as company until Charlie got home. Maybe Charlie would let her stay for a while, he did like Alice.

She opened the front door and peered out into the rain, hoping to see one of the Cullen's cars, or Alice emerge from the darkness. There was no one or no car to be seen. Bella closed the door, scared that her first thoughts were correct, that it was Victoria that Jacob had been threatening her about.

As she walked up the stairs to her room, she tried to convince herself that no matter how angry Jacob was, he wouldn't leave her unprotected with a crazy vampire in the forest.

She opened her bedroom door and froze, her heart racing in her chest. Did she just see something flash past her window. _No_, Bella convinced herself,_ stop thinking crazy._ It was then her eye's fell onto the top of her desk. In a neat pile, on the corner closest to her bed, sat the music CD, photos and plane tickets she had discoved in her floor. Yesterday's morning felt like a whole world away, where she could believe that even though Edward was gone, he still, in some small way, loved her enough to leave a part of himself behind. Now Edward _was_ here, and she doubted he had ever loved her.

Something hit against the outside of the house, suddenly, making Bella jump. She was sure now it was Victoria outside. _Well, if i'm going to die, I might as well be brave about it. No point hiding from a vampire that can hear my heart beat._ She turned on the bedroom light and walked to the window, to see how much damage Victoria had caused to the house.

In the yard, just underneath her window was a shadow. Bella stared down into the dark, unable to believe Victoria would just stand there. Then the rain faded to a drizzle and Bella stared down at Edward.

He stood, again within reach. She was grateful this time he didn't look mad, his golden eyes were filled with such anguish, she couldn't help opening the window and peering down. She couldn't tell how long he had been outside, but his shirt was soaked and clung to his upper body like a second skin. The sight made her breathing hitch and her knees melt.

"Edward?"

He stood so still it was like he was a statue. Then he spoke, "I wanted to talk to you--"

Bella's heart was racing again, and her mind screamed, _talk, __He's changed his mind! He DOES love you!_

"Wait," She interupted him, "I'll come downstairs."

She tried to walk downstairs as calm as possible, but she wanted to run to him. When she opened the door, he was still in the yard, staring at her. She had to coax him to come inside, and he only came through the front door and stood in the entry way, awkward and serious. She walked into the living room, puzzled by his odd behaviour.

"I'll get you a towel," she said, when she noticed how wet he was and dashed to get the towel for something to do."You're soaking wet" she explained holding out the towel, hands shaking.

"I won't get a cold, Bella," he admonished as he took the towel from her. Her eye's followed the small droplets and rivulets of water that cover his arms and chest, neck and face. She wanted to lick the rain drops from his skin.

"You wanted to talk?" She licked her lips, hiding her shaking hands behind her back and sitting down. _Why is he here? _She wondered and became worried he noticed how entranced she still was with him. Months seperated and she forgot how wonderful his presence was, how she loved to be near him.

"I wont stay long, " he sounded distant and unsure of himself, "I don't want to intrude, but you were alone and with Victoria around. I wanted you to be safe."

She looked up at him, knowing that he saw how infatuated she was with him, still. She studied his face, hoping to understand why he stood in her living room, like a strange dream.

"I am... safe." She responded. "Is that all you wanted?" _Me, you want me_! She begged internally.

"I needed to tell you, that when I heard about Victoria, I felt responsible. " Edward was facing her, but not looking at her and she understood then. She understood why the Cullens had returned to Forks, why he felt he needed to be there at that moment. They had already known about Victoria- she felt so stupid for trying to tell Carlisle when she saw him at the hospital.

"If you hadn't known me, or my family," he continued "you would have never ..."

_Fallen in love and been the happiest I ever have? Finally found a place I felt I belonged? Spent the happiest summer of my life in Forks?_ Bella looked down, wrapping her arms around her waist. Her middle was already trying to open up, she felt so rejected, and she didn't want Edward to see that pain, that loss on her face.

"We knew coming back was the right thing to do. We couldn't just let that..." He paused for a second before seeming more passionate "And I wanted you to know that we will deal with her and never let her hurt you."

_Of course,_ Bella thought, _that's why they wont be staying long. They will deal with Victoria and then leave again._ _He didn't want to see me, he just didn't want to be responsible for my death._

_"_I don't want to be an obligation" Bella said angrily to her feet. She couldn't look up at him now._ How could she have ever thought that this vampire had loved her?_

"No, not an obligation. But it wouldn't be right, I couldn't, we all couldn't just let her..." Edward said hurridly and Bella felt the anger grow inside. Just like Jacob, he thought she was so weak and pitiful that they need to protect her. But neither Jacob nor Edward _wanted _to protect her. He could say she wasn't but she knew that she was an obligation to him. Probably to all of the Cullens.

Bella looked up at him, rejected and heartbroken and said, "I told you, I'm safe. I suppose you saw Jacob leave?"

Edward nodded, he looked so cold, so distant.

"Well I don't need him or you to _have_ to protect me. I'm not a duty that needs to be dealt with, Edward. I do appreciate the thought, believe me. But if you're only here to _protect_ me, then I'm safe. "

Edward nodded again, so she had started walking to the door, when he said , "I'm going to stay nearby any way, the sooner we catch Victoria the better."

Bella stopped walking to the door, and stared at him, "Fine." _The sooner Victoria is gone, the faster he can leave me again_, she thought sadly.

She held the door open, wanting him to leave so she could cry, where he stopped and handed her the towel. His hand brushed hers, cold like stone, and she shivered remembering the pleasure those cold hands could give her. Those memories that she had tried to suppress, to hide from, all flooded back and look up, staring into his golden eyes. Edward's face was so close, his lips almost in that crooked smile. Her mind blanked, her knees almost gave, and she was dazzled.

"Breathe, Bella." His breathe floated into her face and she took a long shuddering breath, breathe in as much as possible. He remained there, so very close, and he didn't seem as distant as he had only minutes before. _Kiss me, kiss me, KISS ME!_ her mind screamed and she wanted him to, but it would break her heart more if he did.

Then like breaking a spell, Edward stepped away from her and through the door and Bella closed it behind him.

* * *

**A/N**: Please don't hate me for ending it that way. Special note to **edwardmyantidrug**: hope there wasn't too much Jacob in there for you! Isn't it obvious that I am Team Edward! (But i'm learning to like Jacob, and he makes good drama, so lets all hope he finds a nice girl to imprint on one day and leaves Bella alone!)


	13. Chapter 12: Unwanted

**A/N**: Interesting responses- it seems like those two chapters were frustrating- which is what I wanted. Thanks Eleniel Cullen (2 reviews - very cool), BB's girls, i'm.dazzled., petites sorcieres (nice rant), twilightdaydream, Annuddaone and edwardmyantidrug for venting!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12: Unwanted**

Bella kicked the bed covers away and sat up. She had tried to fall asleep, but so many thoughts kept running through her head. She couldn't sleep, couldn't relax. Charlie had been so sad and tired when he had walked through the door she hadn't bothered to make him dinner. He had gone straight to bed, so she had also and then lay there, staring up at her ceiling, hoping to fall asleep.

Her darkened bedroom emphasized her mood, cheerless and cold. She turned on the bedside lamp, hoping the light would make her feel better. She had rarely felt this isolated and alone in Forks, she used to have Edward and through him the Cullens. And when they left she had Jake and the pack. The weather outside was exactly the same as the storm of thoughts in her mind, and both were giving her a headache. She pulled a sweater over her pajamas for warmth and began pacing around her room. With each lap, a different thought floated to the surface of her unsettled reasoning.

_Jake was only babysitting me because he had too. And then he got mad that I had seen the Cullens and he didn't want to stay, so he just left! _She thought while facing her window, Bella knew that she had kicked Jacob out, but it was easier to think that he had left because he didn't want to be there. _Because I love the Cullens, Jacob rejected me._  
She spun around as she reached the door and paced towards the window again, _AND he had known Edward was outside tonight, had seen or smelt him_ _but he wasn't even sure if who it was! What if he had left me alone with __Victoria__ outside!_

Reaching the window, Bella turned quickly and almost lost her balance. The pile of Edward reminders on her desk caught her eye, _And Edward! He just turns up randomly. Looking so wonderful... he always looks wonderful. _She strode to her desk and picked up the photo in which she stood next to him. _He acted so reserved tonight, just like he had been acting that last week before he left. Those last few days before he admitted he didn't love me any more.  
_She dropped the photo back on the desk and began pacing again. _He probably hadn't wanted to see me at all while he was in Forks. _

Bella stopped walking before she bumped into her closest and turned, looking around her small room. Forks had only been a happy place for her with Edward, and then Jacob, as company. But without either, she only had Charlie tying her to the place. She felt so lonely, and yet frustrated.

Bella stared at the photo of Edward, lying on her desk, remembering his words. _We knew coming back had been the right thing to do. _She had become a millstone to the Cullens, those vampires that she loved, who she was sure had once loved her- because now they _had to_ protect her from danger, they didn't really want to know her any more.

She remembered how all the pack members had acted so unfriendly that morning, and Jacob was instantly angered by her visiting the Cullens. They believed they _had_ to protect her from Victoria _and the Cullens_, because they saw all vampires as the enemy. She could understand that they wouldn't _want_ to protect someone who loved their enemy.

She didn't ask for their protection, but the Cullens and the Quileutes were all_ good_ people, it was in their nature to feel obligated to protect her- she the fragile human. But Bella was now sure that they didn't _want_ to.

She doubted she was even worth protecting and she decided that she wouldn't be a burden to the people that she cared for any longer, _if they don't want me in their lives, why should they have to watch over me?_

Throwing open her closet, Bella grabbed clothes and stuffed them into a spare bag. She would take up her parents idea and go to Phoenix- at least until school started again. Some many of her things were still at Renee's house, she could travel light, catch a plane that night and be in sunny Arizona by tomorrow. If she wasn't in Forks, then the Cullen's wouldn't _have _to be in Forks, wouldn't _have_ to protect her. Edward could go back to his distractions and they would all move away and live out their existence without her.

Maybe even Victoria would give up and leave, and the pack wouldn't have to protect her night and day, to risk their lives to keep Bella safe. Jacob wouldn't have to worry about her heartbroken over a vampire.

She was down the stairs, moving through the kitchen as quietly as possible, when she remembered that she was still in her pajamas. Climbing back upstairs quietly, Bella questioned herself, _why am I tip-toeing around Charlie?  
_She knew the answer though, Charlie didn't really want her to go, despite what he had suggested to Renee and she didn't really want to leave, especially now with him grieving and supporting Sue Clearwater. But Bella also knew that if she didn't leave that minute, she would lose her nerve and continue to be a cumbersome part of the Cullens and the Quileutes existence. Rushing to change into different clothes, she tried to compose a note for Charlie in her mind. What could she say to her father? How could she leave him?

Bella knew she could never be as eloquent as she wanted, so she quickly scrawled a note saying 'Gone to Mom's. Call you when I get there. I love you. Bella' and tacked it to the fridge door. She hoped Charlie wouldn't be too mad or upset with her, she hoped he would understand that she needed to escape Forks and the nuisance she had become.

Outside the storm had stopped, and night sky was beginning to clear. A crescent moon made the world all silver and shadows. Bella stuffed the bag in her truck and started the engine, praying the Charlie would remain asleep after it roared to life. She knew it was selfish to take the truck, after the way she was leaving, but she figured she could leave it parked at the airport and let Charlie know how to pick it up. Her hands were steady as she drove through the town, and the ache in her temples had faded. She wasn't sure when she would ever return to Forks, and she hoped that she would _want to_ return someday. For tonight she was sneaking away like a fugitive from the town where she was unwanted.

* * *

Fairchild International Airport was still bustling when Bella drove into the car-park. She still didn't feel tired, but the bright lights hurt her eyes. An airline worker, with graying hair and tired eyes informed Bella that all flights to and from Seattle had been cancelled due to the thunderstorm. She tried to suggest Bella return in the morning, but couldn't guarantee when the next flight would be. Bella considered finding a place in Port Angeles to wait until morning, but nothing was open. She realized her only option at that time of night was make the hour-long trip back to Forks.

She drove back, frustrated and ignoring the low fuel indicator. The bright head-lights at a constant distance behind the truck irritated her, but the following car turned onto a side road before she got into the main part of town, so she quickly forgot about it.

Walking from her truck to the door, she felt like she had dreamed the last few hours. Nothing inside the house had changed, Charlie remained snoring in his room, and Bella realized that her absence had not been noticed and would not have been noticed for another couple of hours.

Feeling reckless and energized, she removed the note from the fridge, now planning to see Charlie and say good bye properly before leaving. Tomorrow she _would_ leave, who knew for how long, but tonight she would say good-bye to her life in Forks.

At first Bella wanted to drive to the Cullen house, wondering if Alice would miss her and if she should explain why she was leaving. But she couldn't bear to see Edward so distant and reserved again. Instead she drove to the school and parked in the car park. She let all the memories float around her, savoring each one like a piece of chocolate melting in her mouth.

The time Edward had saved her from Tyler's van- that was the first time his golden eye's had burned like fire as he looked at her.  
The first time, outside of the gym, he had stroked her face, like she was the most fragile thing in the entire universe.  
The school prom, even though she had gone under protest, the way his eye's had shone with happiness as they danced together.  
The easy way their school schedules and their lives had intertwined earlier that year, producing a large empty space in her time when he had left.

Bella started up the truck engine and drove away before the memories could make her cry. _Only happy memories_, she told herself and headed for the reservation. She decided that, as she was leaving Forks, and she didn't know how long it would be before her return- there was one thing that she had to do before she left.

Driving past First beach, excitement and anticipation bubbled through her. _This is the stupidest, most reckless thing I have done yet_, Bella thought, remembering the risks she took to hear Edward's voice. This one last time, she wanted to hear his voice with passion and anger and love in it, even if it was a hallucination. She knew that the hallucinations weren't realistic any more- because Edward didn't care, didn't love her. But it was the last time she would hear his voice like that, she decided, she needed to hear it one more time, to say goodbye.

She could see the dark cliffs in the growing light- they were stark against the pale blue sky and the first rays of the sun, over the forest warmed her view. The truck protested at the bottom of the lane towards the cliffs, but she drove on, determined. She would jump from the top, as the sun rose behind her.

She was driving on a flat part of the hill, the truck groaned and sputtered to dead stop. Bella stared wildly at the dashboard- the gas indicator was on empty.

Frustrated, she decided to walk the rest of the way to the top. Once the sun was up, she would try to get petrol from someone at La Push, but until she was sure any one was awake, she would cliff dive.

The forest was still likr the dead of night, still cold and Bella wrapped her arms around her waist trying to stay warm. She followed the lane, turning a corner that went deeper into the forest, and then turned another corner and another. Bella continued to follow the lane until she realized that she had no idea where she was. Turning another corner, she started to panic.

The lane had suddenly become a clearing, narrowing and ending in a wall of trees. Bella was completely surrounded by forest, couldn't even hear the crash of the ocean any more. Puzzled, she turned, to walk back to her truck- thinking she must have driven the wrong way and would have to walk all the way back to La Push.

A sudden rustle amongst the trees made her jump. Adrenaline thrilled through her, letting her know that even though this wasn't the risk she planned on taking to say good-bye, now she was taking another chance, lost in the forest with a murderous vampire after her.

"Bella!" His voice rang clear and so very real in her head, just as she knew it would. He sound angry, but also desperate and passionate. She smiled, knowing she had still achieved what she wanted, even though she was at a greater peril here.

She started to walk out of the clearing, when the rustling started again. Someone was moving, hidden by the trees, at the entrance of the clearing. Bella realized that she could be walking into the perfect ambush, through that narrow section, letting whoever was hiding there grab her easily.

"Turn around, find another way" His wonderful voice encouraged, and she did. The adrenaline buzz increased, that murderous vampire was hunting her now but she could only thrill at the way his voice said, "Please, Bella, try. For me."

Bella began trying to find her way down to La Push through the forest, but realized that she had no sense of direction, and could have been moving deeper into the forest, further away from the beach. Occasionally she stopped, and as she did, Victoria, who was moving quietly through the trees behind her, would also stop. If Bella concentrated she could just hear the vampire's movements, but that made her stop paying attention to where she was going and trip on nothing. Her breathing became ragged and her heartbeat raced. _This was it_, she thought, I_ won't be a burden to any one any more because Victoria is going to get what she wants._

But Bella still tried to move faster, she thought she could see a rooftop not much further ahead. Maybe she could get away from this danger. She wondered why Victoria didn't just attack her now, when she remember Laurent's words, '_if you knew what she had planned for you'_. This was part of Victoria's plan, she was playing with Bella, enjoying the way her heart sped, the way her hands trembled with fear.

"BELLA!" A different voice in her head this time, deeper, rougher. Jacob's desperation was clear. Bella stopped suddenly, glancing round through the trees asking herself _since when do I hallucinate Jake's voice?_

A rustle in the trees reminded her of the dangerous vampire nearby. She could see the rooftop much more clearly now, she was sure that it was Sam and Emily's house ahead. But she would never reach it in time, the rustling grew and despite Bella's instincts telling her not to run, she sprang forward, clumsily tearing through the undergrowth. Victoria kept pace, letting Bella wear herself out. She was almost clear of the forest now, could see the window box of flowers she had helped Emily tend one afternoon. She should call out, or scream. Maybe they would hear, maybe Sam would try to help. But then she remembered her decision, _she would not be a burden._

She tried to jump over fallen tree as gracefully as possible and her right foot caught on something, most likely her left foot. She fell, knowing she was about to die but the world wasn't in slow motion, her life didn't flash before her eyes. She could see many things quickly though. She fell forward onto the ground and behind her, she knew Victoria was stepping over the log, reaching down to her. A light was shining in the front window of Sam and Emily's house, they were awake. Around her bird's sang their morning song and far away, a wolf howled. Behind the house, the sun had fully risen, was sitting happily above the trees.

Bella felt a sharp pain pierce her neck and then she saw, she felt, she knew nothing.

* * *

**A/N:** OK so ORIGINALLY the chapter ended with Bella driving out of town- but it didn't feel long enough, so I added chapter 13 where Bella, stupid, sleep deprived and recklessly-crazy trys to jump off a cliff and fails. I realise that this chapter may not recieve as warm a reception as the earlier ones, BUT STICK WITH ME. The story did require a little cliff hanger.  
There is now a poll on my user page about this story- why don't you go and vote there?


	14. Chapter 13: Frustration

**A/N**: Yay! Edward Chapter. (happy dance) If you haven't voted on the poll about this story- GO NOW! It will have nothing to do with this chapter, I'm just very impatient. Thank you Mimi-Love-4ever, Kolored, i'm.dazzled and edwardmyantidrug for those reviews- they really spurred me on to write this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Frustration**

Edward sat on his sofa, using a remote control to change the music booming from his stereo. He couldn't settle on what to listen to, everything reminded him of Bella. Each reminder deepened the sense of loss and frustration he had felt since he had returned from Bella's house. It had been so hard to walk away from her door, especially after that moment where they had stood so close, when he had wanted to express to her how he really felt, to hold her as tight as he dared, kiss her with all the passion he could allow himself.

Downstairs, he could hear Alice muttering to herself, and Jasper was bombarding him with worried thoughts. Alice was mad at Edward's suggestion that the family should only stay in Forks while Victoria was a threat, she refused to talk to him but he knew that she, that all the family, wanted to stay much longer. Edward switched off the stereo and went down the stairs to lean against Alice's door. He didn't like fighting with any of his family, because then he had to hear all their indignant thoughts about him, but he especially didn't like fighting with Alice, because she usually knew the outcome of the fight, and would continue the fight until she could win.

Jasper looked up at him from where he lounged on their bed. From somewhere deep in Alice's closest, a pair of socks came flying, closely followed by a fluffy scarf.

"Spring cleaning?" Edward raised his eyebrows at Jasper, who smiled grimly back.

"Alice is looking for a sweater that she wants to led to Bella," Jasper replied before turning back the thick psychology textbook in front of him. _Just apologise to her, Ed_, _please?_

Edward sighed, Jasper always knew when it was best to placate Alice.

"It's that really nice colour blue which looks great on her," Alice yelled from somewhere in the closet. _I'm should led her a matching skirt too. Bella doesn't wear many skirts. We should go shopping before school starts again, I'll get buy her some nice skirts. Because we will be here when school returns, Edward Cullen, we **all** will!_

Edward sat on the floor, close to the bed, facing the double doors of the closet and knew that he would have to wait until Victoria was dead before convincing his family that they shouldn't stay in Forks. He didn't want to fight with Alice any more so for now, he decided that it was best to apologise for suggesting that they leave. Alice appeared suddenly and glared at him.

"You're forgiven." She stood stubbornly, with both hands on her hips while cocking her head to one side. "You should go back tomorrow and..." She froze, staring at nothing, with that familiar look of a vision forcing it's way into her mind.

Edward saw with her, it was night and no longer raining, Bella was driving into the car park of the Port Angeles airport.

Alice blinked and met Edward's eyes, "Ok, maybe you wont get a chance tomorrow."

"What's wrong?" Jasper flipped the heavy book closed and was immediately at Alice's side.

"Bella's leaving," Alice answered sadly, "tonight." _Just when we've come back, she wants to leave. What did you do, Edward?_

Edward glared at Alice before adding "She's going to travel alone, probably flying to her mother's."

With one mind, both Alice and Jasper thought about the danger Bella could be in while travelling and if she went to Arizona. If Victoria found out Bella had left Forks, she would follow. Memories of Bella's broken and bleeding body, lying on the ballet studios floor flashed through all their heads.

"I should go and watch over her there, right?" Edward looked at his brother and sister, hoping for approval.

"We'll drive you to the airport," Jasper agreed, leaving the room before Edward could change his mind. _Just be careful,_ Jasper thought, as he walked down the stairs, _it will be harder to hide in Phoenix, from the humans. And from Bella._

Alice was still contemplating him, a calculating look on her face before following Jasper. _You'll follow her to Phoenix, but if she was here, you don't want to stay. _

Ignoring both their comments, Edward grabbed his wallet from his room, ensuring he had several of credit cards, before meeting them downstairs. Jasper had already informed the rest of the family, and Esme looked on sadly as they left. _I hate it when the family is separated, _her thoughts haunted Edward as he drove but he had to think of Bella's safety first, and his (and his family's) happiness after.

It was raining heavily as they began driving, but they raced the storm, and it was barely sprinkling as they flew down the highway. Jasper was a statue in the passenger seat and every time Edward glanced into the rear view mirror, Alice stared at him from the back seat with criticising eyes. They had just driven into the city limits of Port Angeles, leaving the storm far behind behind them, when Alice gasped, then said "You won't get a flight, Edward. That storm will eventually prevent all flights to and from Seattle."

Edward doubted the storm could catch up. "I'll get a flight," he grinned mischievously and parked at the airport.

He didn't believe Alice's second vision, wondering why she would try to manipulate him into staying. _She just wants me to convince Bella to stay. But it's no longer my place to ask anything of Bella. I can only protect her, wherever she goes._

It was so early in the morning, he wasn't surprised that the airport had only one employee. The grey-haired women behind the airline counter, looked tired and bored. She repeatedly told the people in the line ahead of Edward that the flights to going Seattle that night were only for emergencies because of the coming storm, but then he reached the counter, her attitude changed. Edward smiled from the memory of Bella accusing him of dazzling people to get his own way. The woman's eyes glazed slightly as she looked up at Edward, and he took advantage.

"Please, isn't there anything you can do? It's sort of an emergency that requires me to get to Seattle tonight," he purred at her.

"Well... I... uh," she was flustered, trying to focus on her ancient computer. Edward, leaned forward onto the counter, motivated by the enamored thoughts running through her head. "I can't get you on a scheduled flight, they've all been delayed, but" her voice dropped to a conspiratory whisper, "we could try to charter you a plane. Though a private plane will be much more expensive." She looked up at him unsure.

Edward flashed her a brilliant smile and the first credit card in his wallet, asking "So, is there a pilot crazy enough to take me out ahead of that storm?"

She managed to book Edward a shared chartered flight with two businessmen, wearing suits and unhappy faces, that would get to Seattle before the thunderstorm. Alice and Jasper walked him out onto the tarmac, and Edward quickly kissed Alice on the cheek and gave the keys of the Volvo to Jasper, before he had to board.

"I'll call you from Seattle after I find Bella." He reassured them both, turning his phone off for the flight, "and then I'll go with her to Arizona."

Jasper looked thoughtfully at the car park, "Bella hasn't left yet, her truck isn't here."

Edward frowned, following Jasper's thoughts by surveying the almost empty car park. "So she probably won't get there until after me. Stay here until her flight takes off."

Jasper nodded, hugging Alice to his side, as the first few raindrops began to fall. "We'll keep an eye out for Victoria as well."

Edward trusted Alice and Jasper to make sure Bella got safely on to her plane, and prevent Victoria from joining her flight. He was concerned that the weather would delay her, but Alice reassured him that she could still see Bella arriving at the airport.

The flight was uneventful, Edward ignored the guilty thoughts of his fellow passengers, a cheating husband about to spend the weekend with his mistress and a gambling addict headed for Las Vegas. He wondered how to convince Bella to let him protect her while she was in Arizona. She didn't seem pleased by the idea of him protecting her in Forks. _Maybe Alice was right_, Edward thought, _maybe she was leaving to escape me, not Victoria._ He pushed those thoughts out of his mind and spent the hour, imagining Bella was in front of him again, remembering the intensity of his feelings as he had stood near her, the overwhelming desire he had to touch her, kiss her.

When the plane landed, the storm still hadn't reached Seattle. The airport was chaotic however, with majority of the flights cancelled or delayed. Edward remained in the arrivals area, watching for flights from Port Angeles. After an hour of waiting, all flights had been cancelled and the storm began to rage over the buildings. Edward's hands shook with frustration, how could Bella possibly be flying in that storm? He pulled out his phone, realising he had never turned it back on after the flight. He pressed the power button and it immediately beeped with a missed call and an anxious message from Alice.

"Edward, Bella couldn't get a flight. The storm set in almost as soon as your plane took off. We're following her back to Forks, she'll be safe at Charlie's, Emmett's watching her house. But I had another vision Edward, please call me when you get this."

He hit the speed-dial button and waited for the Alice to answer her phone. He listened to the ringing tone for an eternity before she answered

"Edward, how soon can you come back?"

"All departing flights are cancelled, until the storm passes."

Alice let out a frustrated sigh, and Edward impatiently began walking towards the exit of the airport.

"What did you see, Alice?"

"How soon can you come back?" She repeated, ignoring his question, "Find a car and drive if you have to."

"A couple of hours maybe. Alice, tell me, what's wrong?" Edward wished he could read her mind from this far away.

Suddenly, Jasper took the phone, "Edward?"

"Jasper! What happened to Alice?" Edward demanded.

"She's having another vision." Jasper sounded so calm, but Edward couldn't be calm.

"What's wrong? Where is Bella?"

"We stopped following her as we got near the town. Emmett is still at Charlie's, so Bella must be there as well. Alice wants to talk to you again."

Edward waited, his impatience growing as Jasper gave the phone to Alice.

"Edward, I can't tell you what's wrong." Alice stated stubbornly when she had the phone again.

"WHY?" Edward yelled into the phone, and startling the people around him. Trying to be composed, he spoke quietly into the phone, "at least tell me _why_ you won't tell me what's wrong."

"In my vision just now Edward, I told you what I saw is going to happen to Bella, and you had an accident while driving back to Forks. You were fine, but the driver of the other car, she wasn't. I won't be responsible for that."

Edward growled into the phone, "What should I do then?"

"Come back to Forks, but please don't be careless. If I made you worry about Bella, then you'd drive recklessly, so I'm not telling you what I saw until you get here. But please promise me you'll drive carefully."

"Can I speed?" Edward let his sarcasm carry over the phone.

There was silence from the other end, then Alice shuddered out a breath. "Yes, please hurry. But promise me, you won't be rash and cause an accident."

"I'll be careful" Edward responded before hanging up. He headed back into the airport, looking for the hire car desks.

Edward visited every hire car booth in the airport, desperate to start driving back to Forks as soon as possible. Every car hire representative was apologetic but unable to help, every car avaliable had been taken by the hundreds who had been stuck in Seattle when their planes were cancelled. Several suggested Edward wait until morning, then he could catch a flight back. Edward resisted yelling at them that he couldn't wait until morning, he needed to be in Forks _now_.

Edward decide he had only one choice, he went straight to long term parking and walked in between the few cars that were left behind by absent travellers, until he found one that suited his requirements.

Edward pushed the sports car through the storm, heading for highway 101. He was fortunate enough to find an appropriate car in the long term parking and was still capable of 'borrowing' an alarmed car. The engine purred, the steering was smooth under his hands and he was able to drive the way he liked- as fast a possible.

* * *

**AN:** I also need to thank my autophile baby brother, Thomas. I feel just like SM having to ask a sibling for what car to use. If you would like to see a picture of the car that Edward stole (sorry borrowed) I've added the link to my profile.  
If you're frustrated and you know it, clap your hands!


	15. Chapter 14: Hunter

**A/N:** This chapter is dedicated to sillybella and Heartbroken1- both of whom have written fanfics that has taught me to love Jacob as much as Edward. Thank you i'm.dazzled., edwardmyantidrug, Phantom of a Rose, bloomsky, MadeleineJade and petites sorcieres for reviewing- your frustration means the chapter was well written XD

* * *

**Chapter 14: Hunter**

Jacob ran along the sand, enjoying the warm sunshine on his bare skin, chasing, hunting. Bella ran a few yards ahead of him, because he was letting her win. She, turning back every couple of steps to see where he was, kept smiling and shrieking as he ran closer. She tripped on nothing, and he surged forward, grabbing her waist as she fell. They both fell together, but he rolled, so that he landed on his back, and she on his chest.

She grinned down at him, her eyes brighter than the sun, and he tickled her bare skin, making her squirm and laugh. He held her tight and close until she stopped squirming, staring down into his eyes. They were both breathing heavy from running and as her hand traced tingling circles across his chest, his heart raced and his stomach was filled with butterflies.

"Mmmm, Jacob," She murmured before leaning closer.

Her lips brushed his, the gentlest of touches before he lifted his head and deepened the kiss. His hands loosened their grip, and slid down from her hips to the back her thighs and back up again. She ran her hands up his chest, clasping his face.

Quicker than he thought Bella was capable of moving, she sprang up and was running again, laughing, teasing. He lay in the sand, relishing the sensation of the kiss before jumping up and chasing after her.

She had disappeared into the trees and just as he was about to follow, when he heard her pain filled scream. Rushing to help her, he slid through the trees and skidded to a halt, suddenly this was his worst nightmare. A golden-haired, red-eyed vampire had Bella in his clasp, with one arm firmly around her waist, and the other hand tangled in her hair, so that her head was pulled to a painful angle. The monster's teeth glinted white and he hissed at Jacob, hiding himself behind Bella's body. Jacob couldn't touch the vampire, couldn't stop him without hurting Bella.

Jacob feinted to the left, but the vampire kept himself hiden behind Bella's body. Jacob was shaking with rage- how dare the beast try to hurt Bella? He could feel himself changing, before he had thought about the transformation. Suddenly he was furry, with sharp claws and teeth. His blood boiled as the vile smell of the vampire filled his nostrils. He howled, and the vampire hissed in return. Jacob took a step closer and the vampire tightened his grip of Bella's hair, bringing another painful cry from her mouth.

He was desperate to save Bella from any more pain and still destroy the vampire. He feinted again, but no matter what direction he moved the vampire kept anticipating his actions. Finally the vampire must have grown tired of being so close Bella's blood, yet not feeding, it leaned forward to bite into her neck, but kept it's eyes on Jacob, taunting him. Jacob leaped at them, unable to bear watching Bella in such a situation. The vampire dropped Bella's now limp body and fled. Jacob wanted to race after the vampire, the coward, but the instinct to look after Bella was stronger. Standing over her bleeding, limp body, he howled, miserable and grief-stricken into the sky. A chorus of howls responded to his and Jacob could hear his brothers answering his mourning call. They were too late, the vampire had gotten away.

The howls echoed around Jacob, sorrowful and haunting, engulfing everything he was.

Jacob woke, sitting up in bed. His room and the house was still dark, it was still the middle of the night. The chorus of howls that had awoken him were fading into the blackness. The howls told him, that something was very wrong, someone had picked up a scent during their patrols. Jacob was out of bed and running out of the house before he had to think. Shaking off the dream, like his bed covers, Jacob transformed and was running towards his brothers.

_Where? _Jacob sent the word as a question out into the night and was answered by a variety of voices.

_To the east_, one voice said clearly, _near Sam's house._

They gathered as a pack, moving as one, tracking the scent of a vampire- their enemy. They slid through the trees, moving silently and swiftly like phantoms, thinking, acting, knowing as one.

_This is the real world now, Black. _Sam, sensing Jacob's fury left over from the dream, was quick to remind him that their enemy, their quarry was a different vampire at that moment. That the golden-haired Cullen were not a threat to them, that night. _Leave your emotions behind while you hunt._

The scent was lost almost as fast as it had been found, like at one point the vampire was there, and the next she disappeared. They kept running though, kept hunting until the night faded and the early morning sky began to lighten.

_Spread out, in pairs_, Sam's authoritve voice echoed in Jacob's head. _Search the entire reservation- she could still be here. Don't let her get past us!_

Jacob and Leah continued the hunt heading south, searching the trees for any sign, any clue that the fire-haired vampire had been there. But they found nothing and both were impatient to return to their beds.

In the distance, a howl echoed through the air, a call for help- Paul had found a trail and it was still fresh. Jacob rushed to help Paul, leaving Leah to cover the southern forests- always conscious of how deceptive these vampires could be. As he ran, he enjoyed the feel of wind speeding through his fur, the crunch of the ground under his paw.

_They're close! _Paul was sniffing around a clearing near the treaty line, _I can smell them so clearly!_

Jacob almost paused mid-stride, but he kept running. _T__hey_, he wondered and then realised his assumptions had been correct, that Victoria had company, and it was most likely from the newly returned Cullens. When he had phased back, when he was human, he might have thought about this more, about the way he had left Bella, when he was sure that Cullen boy near the house. If the Cullen's were working with Victoria, he had failed Bella.

But in his beastial form, Jacob could barely concentrate on such matters of the heart, as Sam had advised- _leave emotions behind _and the sensations and sounds, the voices of the pack echoing round him were captivating enough. In a single breath he could smell the salty ocean air, the sweat and heat of his brothers, running, hunting, excited and aware. He could smell the blood that the vampire had been consumed from her last feeding. His heart wanted to shudder at the idea that this blood could be Bella's- he had left her defenseless, but his senses quickly took over again. He was drowning in the smell of earth and warmth and pack, on the adrenaline surging through his system- the thrill of the hunt. He ran north as fast as he could, covering the distance of the reservation in unbelievable time.

Jared was rolling in the dirt, his brown coat darker than normal. _His smell is all over me_, he tried to explain before rolling again. _I cant get this stench off!_

So there are two at least, Jacob calculated- maybe this Victoria had found taken a mater from one of the Cullen males.

Suddenly Sam's voice echoed into Jacob's mind.

_Go back to help Leah, Jacob, don't come any close to the beach._ Jacob wasn't heading for the beach, and his instincts had screamed for him to listen and obey. But he needed to know why only he was allowed in that area.

The sun had risen, but Jacob didn't notice, Sam and Embry, both human, stood in the darkness of the trees, facing away from Jacob. It took Jacob a moment to recognise the large vehicle they were inspecting, parked haphazardly on the lane which ran south along the cliffs. Bella's truck, sat abandoned and foreboding in the shadows on the trees. The driver's door was open, but the engine was off.

Panic thrilled through Jacob, _Bella's here, _he thought,_ on the reservation._ _With those vampires around, after **her **blood. _Jacob howled and he felt his body change, returning to skin still slick with perspiration, a heart that was about to break, and a throat that couldn't howl, so the sound transformed too, into a single word.

"BELLA!"

* * *

**A/N:** Aw poor Jake. Send me a rating out of 10- it'll make me happy! It might even make me write the next chapter faster!


	16. Chapter 15: Missing

**A/N**: This story has over 100 reviews!! HAPPY DANCE TIME!! You all get a cookie for being so wonderful- come to Australia and I'll give you a cookie XD.  
Thank you i'm.dazzled, BB's girls (Sorry this isn't what you suggested- BUT DON'T COMBUST YET!! Those chapters are coming I PROMISE), petites sorcieres, and momma2three for reviewing that last chapter- I was very nervous about writing from Jakes pov- you've put me at ease.

* * *

**Chapter 15: Missing**

Alice threw the pillow across the room, needing to expend energy. Over an hour had passed since she had spoken to Edward and nearly two hours since she had a vision which had scared her. Bella would arrive home after failing to catch a flight to Seattle, and Victoria would be waiting for her there.

Alice had called Emmett from the car, and it didn't take her long to convince him to await the other vampire at Charlie's. Jasper stopped following Bella once they had reached the town, as they were both sure Victoria would not chance an attack earlier than Bella parking in her drive way.

Alice was not a patient vampire and waiting for hours while Edward was driving irrationally home and Bella may or may not be in danger did not encourage her composure. She threw another pillow and Jasper had to duck to avoid it.

"Sorry," she growled, before letting him wrap his arms around her, kissing her forehead. She instantly started to feel calm.

"They are both going to be OK," Jasper whispered against her hair. His hand on her back ran large soothing circles.

"Months of nothing," Alice moaned against his chest, "not that I was looking into Bella's future, but still I got nothing. And then we return to Forks, and I have three visions about her!"

Jasper suddenly held her at arms length from him and Alice looked up into his thoughtful eyes. "How many times do you suppose Victoria has _decided_ to try and hurt Bella, she's been here a few weeks at least."

Alice pulled away, "What does it matter?" She argued, "Victoria's not the only problem on Bella's path."

Jasper followed her to look out the window, wrapping his long arms around her waist protectively.

"I'm just saying, what if you've only started having visions about Bella now, because you've seen her."

Alice closed her eyes, wishing could _see_ Bella again, because the visions were always so troubling, the questions and the possibilities, the chance that things could happen exactly the way Alice had foreseen, or that they could change rapidly.

A tingling in her fingertips was the start of her wish being granted, and her mind was alert, though she remained relaxed in Jasper's arms. This vision was almost real, Alice could smell the sea air, could hear the crash of the waves far below. Bella on a cliff edge, eyes closed, hands raised into the wind. It was still dark, but Alice could see the sun rising in the distance. A small smile lit up Bella's face, as she rolled onto her toes. Alice wanted to reach out and grab Bella, but it was pointless, this was only the vision, the dream of a reality. Bella jumped, and as she fell, she screamed.

Alice opened her eyes, gasping, sobbing, Jasper was cradling her on the living room floor. Her hands shook as she remembered the way Bella screamed. She felt overcome by a vision, normally they were nothing more than a few images, possibly sounds, in her mind. She hadn't lost such control during a vision in years, decades.

A vision that was so tangible meant there was not much time before it occurred.

* * *

Alice drove at break-neck speed down the highway, she had minutes, if they were lucky maybe an hour before Bella would jump. It was by sheer miracle that she was looking when Bella made such a terrible decision.

"So, she jumped?" Jasper asked from the passenger seat, his brow wrinkled with the effort to calm her. She brushed away Jasper's calming waves like an irritating fly, wanting the adrenaline pumping through her.

"Yes she jumped, of course she jumped. You felt how miserable she was this afternoon, and now we need to stop her before she..." Alice couldn't say it, couldn't imagine why Bella would do such a selfish act. Charlie would be heartbroken. Edward would go insane.

"But it happened on the reservation, on the other side of the treaty line, so how are you planning to stop her?" Jasper asked, trying to keep his voice level.

"I don't care about that stupid treaty right now Jasper, Bella's life is much more important!" Alice snarled, accelerating.

Jasper reached down and pulled up the hand-brake. The Volvo skidded around the highway, Alice trying to control it's direction. They narrowly missed a large tree, before they came to a stop in the dirt, hidden from the road.

"Edward is going to kill you for doing that."

"He gave _me_ the keys, not you. You tend to be a manic when driving."

Alice glared at her husband before getting out the car.

"You don't _want _ me to save Bella!" She accused, stomping around the front of the car. Jasper copied her and they were soon speeding along the highway again, this time Jasper in the drivers seat.

"No," Jasper sighed, "I want to save Bella too, but we can't just go to the reservation and break the treaty, it's there for a reason."

"Fine," Alice huffed. "Let me call Carlisle, and see what he thinks." She pulled out her phone and glared at her husband again, while waiting for Carlisle to answer. "If Bella dies, while we are deliberating, _you're_ explaining this to Edward."

Carlisle suggested Alice contact the werewolf pack and enlist their help."They seemed very concerned about Bella's safety, especially that Jacob Black."

So Alice and Jasper had waited at the treaty line, after they had called the number for the pack leader that Carlisle had given him. A woman had answered the phone, and listened to Alice's plea with increasing worry.

"I want to help Bella too!" She had said, "but the pack's not available right now."

Alice thought carefully about the way she had phrased her response- the pack were still on the reservation, but they were busy. She quickly thanked the woman and hung up the phone.

"I think there's some mystical werewolf event happening, which we might have to interrupt," she said to Jasper, looking up into the sky.

"What?" he asked, looking up with her.

"Is it a full moon tonight?" She asked, teasing.

"Shh," Jasper suddenly grabbed her arm, his posture tense.

Alice tried to walk away, then she heard what Jasper was listening to.

There was soft squelches in the mud in front of them, as though someone was walking through it very carefully in bare feet. Both vampires froze, as another set of soft squelches started to walk toward them from a different direction. A crackling sound, from the dry leaves behind the car, alerted them to a third 'someone'.

"We've come peacefully," Jasper called out into the darkness, "We only want to find and help Isabella Swan."

"Don't you mean hurt her?" A deep rumbling voice came from the direction of the first 'someone'.

Suddenly a large grey wolf leaped onto the roof of Edward's car, making Jasper cringe.

"He wont like that," he mumbled to Alice. The wolf bared it's teeth, growling at them both.

"No," Alice called out, "we're friends of Bella. We only want to help her."

"Why would Bella Swan need help, she should be safe at her home, which is in your area. Shouldn't you be helping her there?" Called another voice, younger but still deep.

"Bella is safe in on our side of the treaty line!" Jasper argued, and the wolf crouched, raising it's hackles.

Alice laid a hand of Jasper's arm, and tried to explain, "We think Bella is on the reservation- near the beach or on the cliffs."

"Why would she be there?" Asked the deep rumbling voice, and they could both see it's owner now, standing in the shadows to their right. He was taller than Alice expected, with long black hair and deep set brown eyes. He wore jogging shorts, and nothing else, and seemed to shiver but not from the cold night air.

Alice turned so that she was facing him, sure that he was the leader of the pack.

"I'm Alice Cullen," she introduced herself, before indicating Jasper, "and this is Jasper Hale."

The leader nodded at both, before replying, "You are the two that were not here when the treaty was made." When Jasper nodded, he continued, "I am Sam, pack leader and you are about to trespass on our land. So I need to know, why do you think Bella Swan would be out on the cliffs?"

A gasp came from the second someone and Sam turned to look into that darkness. This boy, Alice didn't think he was much older than 16, was as tall as Sam, and slim with hair that fell just to his shoulders. His face was contorted with anger and knowledge and almost at a signal he looked at Sam and spoke, "Bella wanted to cliff dive, Jacob was planning on taking her one day."

Sam, seeming to ignore Alice and Jasper at that moment, took a step closer to the other boy, "Why would Bella go cliff diving at night...alone...after a thunderstorm, Embry?"

The other boy, Alice assumed his name was Embry, shrugged, "It's Bella?" he suggested, and laughter almost filled his brown eyes. Sam turned back to face Alice and Jasper and the laughter faded from Embry's eyes.

"Why would you need to help Bella, if she was just cliff diving?"

Alice hid her shock at their familiarity with Bella, as she tried to explain, "I thought she was going to do something...else"

The wolf, now laying on Edward's Volvo, snorted and leaped off the car into the darkness.

"Just because she wasn't doing ...that, doesn't mean she's not in danger," Sam seemed to say to himself.

Another wolf, this one had a brown, ran out into the clearing where Alice and Jasper stood, he whined when he spotted them and immediately ran to Sam's side before whining again, this time at Sam.

"You're all out hunting tonight," Alice looked thoughtfully from Sam, to Embry to the brown wolf. "You thought we were looking for Bella to hurt her," she paused watching the guilt cross Embry's face, "does that mean that_ another_ vampire is in your reservation?"

Suddenly Alice knew why Emmett was still waiting at Bella's house- Victoria had never gone there, and instead Bella had driven to the reservation. Panic thrilled through her, and she watched Jasper feel it to, and then understand.

"You have to let us find, Bella!" He demanded, stepping closer to Sam. The wolf growled at him.

"No," Sam replied, "you may not want to cause harm _to her,_ but that doesn't mean you'll resist other temptations. I refuse to let you on the reservation and if you want to stay in Forks, I suggest you respect the treaty that your family has agreed to."

"But," Alice tried to argue, "we can help you."

"No!" Sam almost yelled, and Embry and the brown wolf jumped. "There is a look out point, at the top of this hill," he offered, pointing to the rising slope. "You can see most of the reservation there, especially the cliffs and beach. You will see that we will protect Bella Swan."

He turned and left them, Embry following close behind. The brown wolf looked at them, growling again, before disappearing between the trees. Alice started to follow when Jasper grabbed her arm, "Don't." Was all he said. They started to walk up the slope to where Sam had suggested they watch.

* * *

The pack leader's suggestion was reasonable, the look out point was on the Cullen's side of the treaty line, and had a fantastic view of the reservation. But it was still very dark, the rising sun sending more shadows than light. Alice paced, nervous and irritated but Jasper remained focus on the cliffs in the distance. Bella had not yet appeared on there, though occasionally a wolf would sniff close to the edge before vanishing into the trees again.

The wind changed direction and they both smelt Emmett before he tackled Jasper.

"Emmett!" Alice huffed, offering Jasper a hand. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question," Emmett replied cheerfully, lounging in the dirt.

"Well, I asked first," Alice replied, sitting on a rock. Jasper returned to watching the cliffs in the distance.

"I chased the red-head here. She turned up at the Swans, and wasn't too happy to see me."

Alice stood up, staring at her brother. "You chased Victoria _back_ to the reservation, when you could have stopped her at Charlie's.

Emmett frowned, "I thought you wanted me to keep her _away _from Bella, who had just returned home!"

Alice stared out across the reservation, speechless. Jasper turned to look at Emmett. "Bella's on the reservation now, we thought she was upset, was going to jump off a cliff. But apparently the Quileutes jump off cliffs as a form of recreation."

Emmett stared from Alice to Jasper, "Jump off cliffs? Bella wanted to jump off a cliff... for fun?"

Jasper nodded while Alice continued to scan the cliffs, the sun had risen now, _this i__s the right time_ she thought,_ but Bella still hasn't appeared._

Emmett swore loudly, making both Alice and Jasper turn back to look at him. "Jump off a cliff into the ocean?"

When Alice nodded, he swore again. "I chased the red-head into the water. She started swimming south and passed the treaty line so I let her get away."

"So if Bella survives jumping off a cliff, Victoria's in the water waiting for her!" Alice took a deep breathe before she exploded. "We should call Carlisle, I left my phone in the car."

They ran back to the road and the car. "What happened to the roof?" Emmett inspected the Volvo.

"A werewolf sat on it." Jasper replied as Alice retrieved her phone and called Carlisle. Emmett couldn't help laughing as Alice waited Carlisle to answer.

"Why do _you_ smell like werewolf?" Jasper sniffed Emmett's shirt.

"I ran into one." Emmett grinned, "Tackled the great brown thing, when it started chasing me while I was chasing Victoria." It was Jasper's turn to laugh.

"Stop it you two, Bella's in real danger right now!" Alice reprimanded them

They both quickly sobered, as Carlisle answered the phone.

"Alice, what do you see in Bella's future?" Carlisle asked after Alice explained the situation.

Alice closed her eyes, thinking of Bella's future, of the possibilities for her. Nothing came, Bella's future was blank.

* * *

**A/N:** Cue the dramatic theme music- Duh duh DUHHHHH! Why is Bella's future BLANK?? I'm sure you're smart enough to work it out. Though Alice really has no idea- for now.  
I'm spending TOO much time thinking/reading about Breaking Dawn! Which is not helping me to write! Send me a review- they remind me that I'm meant to be thinking about New Moon and finishing this story!


	17. Chapter 16: Heartbroken

**A/N: **Am I updating too quickly? Should I be draggin this thing out a little more? Oh will that just be more frustrating? Thank you to edwardmyantidrug, i'm.dazzled., BB's girls, Kolored for reviewing. I laughed so hard I fell of my chair at your responses.

* * *

**Chapter 16: Heartbroken**

Jacob sat on the grass, huddled in the blanket, staring at Bella's truck. He didn't remember when he had sat down or how he had gotten the blanket. He felt cold, and since he had become a werewolf- Jacob never felt cold. But for all the body heat he had, and the blanket wrapped around him, at that moment he felt very cold. They had moved Bella's truck, had lifted it away from the lane- in case people needed to drive past, and the longer Jacob looked at it the more his heart broke.

Sam had stopped the hunt, had started a search party through the forest and beach. It was just like that day, months ago, when the Cullen's had left, with Bella lost somewhere, and the Quileutes were looking for her. Some of the older tribe members were also helping, and all Jacob could hear was her name.

Jacob closed his eyes, blocking out the fear and panic in the voices around him. _Bella will be alright_, _Bella will be alright_, he kept repeating to himself, a mantra for sanity. He filled his mind with memories of a safe and happy Bella, before thinking of the dream he had that night. His fingers tingled almost as though he had run them over her bare skin, his lips trembled at the idea of kissing Bella. _She has to be alright_, Jacob thought desperately. He couldn't live with himself if she wasn't safe.

He stood up, no longer able to just sit and wonder. Jacob had to go out and find her. He would have thrown away the blanket, now he was warm with determination, but modesty made him keep it around his naked lower body until he could locate his shorts.

Paul was suddenly next to him, gripping his arm.

"Where are you going, Jacob?"

Jacob turned to look at him slowly, a look that made Jared loosen his grip.

"Where do you think I'm going?" Jacob growled quietly, "we need to find Bella."

"Not you, Jacob," Paul stood in front of Jacob, challenging "Could you really stay in control if we found her body after the bloodsuckers got to her."

"Get out of my way," Jacob replied through gritted teeth.

"Paul! Back down!" Sam yelled from further down the lane. As Sam instructed Paul to return to the search, Jacob began walked towards Sam. They met halfway across the lane and Sam put a hand on Jacob's shoulder, holding him at a distance.

"What's wrong, Jacob?" He asked quietly.

Jacob looked at him incredulously, "what's wrong?" He repeated, "Everything is wrong- Bella is lost somewhere and that bloodsucker is still alive."

"Which bloodsucker do you mean, Jacob, the red-haired female or the Cullen boy?" Sam voice was still quiet, still composed- but underneath Jacob could hear concern.

Jacob moved away from Sam's grasp. "You know I meant the female. She could have Bella now, Bella could be…" Jacob trailed off- staring at the empty truck.

"We know nothing for sure, Jacob, the truck is the only evidence that Bella's on the rez." Sam reassured him, "and more people are waking up and coming out to help the search, it'll be no time before we find her."

Jacob glanced out to the rising sun, and sighed. "We should call Charlie."

Sam ran his hands through his hair, "There's another call I want to make first."

* * *

"I hate moving," Rosalie played with the bracelet on her wrist, making it tinkle softly. Esme smiled at her sadly, they sat on the front porch, watching the sun rise together.

"I don't want to leave," Esme sighed.

Carlisle watched them from the front door way, they were all waiting for news- for Alice to call or Edward to return home. He was very nervous, so very anxious- his family was divided and distressed. He and Esme considered Bella to be a daughter, and she was in such danger at that moment. They all knew that if Bella was not found alive, they wouldn't stay in Forks, they would have to leave again.

The phone rang and Esme turned to see him standing there. He couldn't answer the phone, couldn't bear to hear if it was bad news. Esme smiled again, and he admired the faith and hope in that smile.

He answered it, praying for good news, that Esme's faith would be rewarded. Both his hopes and her faith were disappointed, Sam Uley, the leader of the werewolf pack sounded like he was felt awkward taking to his enemy on the phone.

"I suppose you know that we found Bella's truck here, but we still haven't found her."

"No, I didn't know about the truck. How long before you think you will find her?" Carlisle tried to remain hopeful.

"Well, that's why I've called. I need to ask you a question."

Carlisle tried to keep the curiosity and amusement out of his voice, the proud werewolf leader was calling him to ask a question. "I'd be happy to answer as best as I can."

"What does a vampire do with the bodies of it's victims?" Sam asked bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle was shocked, he couldn't think of a way to answer that question.

"All we've managed to find as evidence that Bella was here is her truck." Sam explained, "if she did as your youngest female saw, and jump off the cliff, she might have survived or her body would have washed ashore by now. We've had people swimming along the bottom of the cliffs, just in case she got stuck there, but we've found nothing. We haven't even found her car keys. The memories of our pack tell me nothing about vampire's behaviour with the bodies of their victims. I was hoping you could tell me."

"You think, there's _a body _to find?" Carlisle asked slowly, "that there's no hope of Bella being found alive?"

"I'm trying to be hopeful, Dr Cullen, but I'm also trying to be realistic. None of my wolves have caught a trace of that Victoria for hours, and there has been no sign of Bella. There's a good chance that Victoria has found Bella, or will find her, and well then..." Sam sighed into the phone, "I just need to know if there _would be_ a body to be found."

Carlisle tried to think of an answer which would not damage the reputation of vampires amongst the pack. Failing to think of an inoffensive answer, he tried to be as honest and brief as possible.

"No, there would be no body. There would be nothing to find."

There was silence at the other end, so Carlisle hung up the phone. He walked out onto the balcony, and noticed that both Esme and Rosalie were standing, staring at the tail-lights of a blue sports car that was driving away from the house.

* * *

Sam hung up the phone, trying not the let the despair show on his face. The entire reservation was in mourning over Harry Clearwater's death, but now with Bella's disappearance, and possible death, Sam couldn't bear to devastate any one, especially Jacob any more.

Jacob was sitting on his lounge, staring at the wall, Billy was calling to him from the kitchen, but Jacob wasn't listening. Sam wanted to comfort him, but couldn't think of what to say or do. It had been almost six hours since Collin had first raised that alarm, finding the red-hair females scent while on patrol, and it had been two hours since that scent had been crossed with the Cullen's, who were waiting at the treaty line. It had been a confusing and frustrating end to the hunt.

Sam had always believed all vampires had smelt the same, most of the werewolves did. Meeting the doctor at the hospital hadn't convinced him otherwise, but in those early hours of the morning he had discovered that vampires have unique scents- just as each werewolf had individual scents. Standing in the forest- surrounded by so many scents, he realised how foolish they had all been to confuse the trails and scents of the different vampires.

It had been fortunate that they had met with the Cullens. The knowledge from the Cullen female- that Bella was on the reservation, lost and alone had changed the morning entirely. The hunt had turned into a search party, which Sam believed now needed to be called off.

Jared burst through the front door, greeting Billy before moving into the living room. Glancing quickly at Jacob on the lounge, Jared stepped closer to Sam.

Dropping his voice, Jared said, "there's something I forgot to tell you."

They walked outside the house together, and Jared explained. "When I ran into that big vampire- the one who's scent we thought was Victoria at first and _then_ who we thought was working with her. Well he was chasing her, so I chased him. Sam, she took off into the water, swimming south- but he turned back."

Sam nodded thoughtfully, "This was right before you found us talking to the Cullens?"

"Before we found Bella's truck was abandoned," Jared nodded. Sam looked out into the distance at the people still searching the beach.

"Spread the word, the search is over. We won't find the remains in the water or on the beach." Jared nodded sadly and took off into the trees at the run. Sam turned to see Jacob standing in the doorway, his eye's filled with grief.

"Bella," he whispered.

* * *

Alice sat in the back seat of the Volvo, listening to Jasper and Emmett arguing in the front. Jasper wanted to call Edward and tell him what they thought had happened to Bella. Emmett said they should wait until Edward was in Forks, and not behind the wheel of a car. Alice felt so miserable she didn't think it mattered when Edward was told, he would still be heartbroken. She wanted to refuse to believe that Bella was really gone, but when she could see _nothing_ in Bella's future, Jasper suggested they go home to wait for Edward's return, and now she was finding it hard to remain hopeful. Now all she could feel was guilt, that she hadn't been able to stop Bella, and grief, that she had lost someone she considered to be a sister. Jasper must have been sensing Alice's misery because he gave in to Emmett and they drove in silence for a few minutes.

Just as they were about to turn off the highway, a blue sports car flashed past them, being driven much faster than any sane human would attempt. Jasper turned the Volvo around, and tried to follow, though they could barely keep up with Edward's desperate speeding. He finally stopped, just before the treaty line and sat in the car- staring into the forest. Alice flung his door open as soon as she could get out of the Volvo.

"Edward, don't stay here, you shouldn't..."

Alice's voice faded as a Quileute stepped out of the forest into the morning light. He was almost as tall as the leader, and his eye's were ablaze with passion. He walked like a soldier into battle, until he stood in front of the sports car, he was breathing heavily, as though he had just been running and his hands kept convulsing into fists, as though he was holding back from hitting something, or someone.

"Cullen," he snarled, his eyes only on Edward.

Edward stood out of the car and looked at the man, "Black," he responded quietly before turning to Alice, worry filling his eyes. "Where's Bella? I started to drive home but Esme was thinking about Bella, here at the reservation, Alice, what's happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened," spoke the Quileute again, and Alice recognised him as grown up Jacob Black. "Every one thinks she's dead, leech."

Edward's head snapped around to look at Jacob and they stared at each other over the distance. Alice realised that Edward was reading Jacob's mind, and she closed her eyes to see what Jacob had come here for. She saw nothing, a blank- as though Jacob had no future. She blinked her eyes open and understood- she couldn't see the werewolves in her visions, which means when she saw Bella's future as a blank, she must have been with a werewolf.

Alice gently rubbed Edward's shoulder, "Bella's not dead."

"Yes, she is!" Jacob thundered, and several other Quileutes melted out from the trees.

"Jacob! What's going?" Sam demanded and pulled at Jacob's arm but he only stepped closer.

"You KILLED her Cullen! If it wasn't for you..." Jacob took another step closer, he was now almost at the car and was shaking uncontrollably.

"No," Edward said, almost too soft for Alice to hear.

"She was finally happy! She would have been safe! But you had to come back and now--" Jacob was ranting, his fists convulsing faster.

"Jacob, let's go!" Sam grabbed one of his arms and another Quileute, who Alice didn't know, grabbed the other. They tried to pull Jacob back towards the reservation, but he struggled and continue to yell at Edward.

Jasper was suddenly holding Edward's arm, his face showed that he was drowning in Edward's heartbreak. Alice realised that Edward believed Jacob, but he was whispering 'no' repeatedly. Edward collapsed to his knees, gasping as though he was choking on grief and shock. Emmett was trying to get him to stand up- "Come away, Edward. Come on!"

"I hope you live a thousand years, Cullen! A thousand years knowing what you've lost, what you've destroyed! A thousand years of misery and loneliness and that still wouldn't be enough! She's _dead_! And it's all your fault!" Jacob was still in the arms of others, screaming and the last words were hoarse in his throat, tears were streaming down his cheeks. He suddenly burst and a large russet wolf was howling in his place. The Quileute's let go of it and the wolf ran, disappearing into the trees. They all followed him racing impossibly fast for humans, until only Sam remained, watching them.

Jasper and Emmett had managed to get Edward to stand, and were dragging him back to the Volvo. Emmett restained Edward, moaning, in the back seat and Jasper turned the engine on. Alice looked back at Sam, his face solid but underneath he was grief-stricken.

"I'm so sorry." He said.

"Me too," Alice responded.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry...

Ok maybe the changing of POV was a bit confusing- it went from Jacob to Carlisle to Sam, then Alice. I tried to be creative- did it work?


	18. Chapter 17: Poignant

**A/N**: OK seeing as the last chapter's POV changes worked, it's happening again! Thank you cat97, NicolieTheGoalie, edwardmyantidrug, i'm.dazzled., BB's girls, Rae1191, petities sorcieres and xDreamOn'94 so much for reviewing. Your reactions were exactly what I hoped for- BUT SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING I COULD HURT BELLA- Read ON!! XD

* * *

**Chapter 17: Poignant**

Charlie Swan opened the front door to find Esme and Alice Cullen waiting for him.

"Uh, Good Morning Mrs Cullen, Alice. Isn't a little early for visitors?" He tried to smile cheerfully at them, confused by their grieved faces. Days ago he had warned Carlisle Cullen against visits, he didn't want Bella to revert back to her zombie-like state with the return of the Cullen family, though it was only one particular family member he would have turned away. He always liked Alice, she was so helpful when Bella had broken her leg, and Esme Cullen was always so lady-like and lovely, he felt it would be ungentlemanly to refuse her anything.

"Good morning Chief Swan, we just wanted to you know how terrible we all feel." Esme stepped forward and held out a boquet of white lillies. Charlie took them hesistantly wondering why she was giving him flowers, and then he realised that they must have heard about Harry. Forks was such a small town, a death or disaster often brought the community closer.

"I appreciate it your sentiments..." Charlie tried to smile at them gratefully. Harry had been his friend for many years, many fishing trips. His death had been so unexpected that Charlie was grateful he at least was able to say goodbye at the hospital. During the last night and that morning he had tried not to think about Harry's passing too deeply, because then he would start to wonder what would happen to Seth and Leah, and how would Sue cope alone.

"Such a special life, to be lost so young, this really is too horrible to bear..." Esme covered her mouth with a pale hand, and stared into the forest, Alice stood behind her, hands covering her face, dry sobbing. Charlie couldn't agree that Harry was _young_, there were only a few years between him and his friend. He was astounded by Esme and Alice's obvious grief, having had no idea the Cullen's had even known the Clearwaters. He was under the impression that most of the reservation's families had some strange prejudice against the Dr. Cullen's family. He reached out and touch first Esme, than Alice's shoulder, he wanted to comfort them. But he had never been able to deal with crying women, _he_ hadn't even cried over Harry.

Glancing past them he noticed that Bella's truck was not on the driveway._ How did Bella leave earlier than me, _he thought and realised that Esme and Alice wouldn't be able to see Bella, as she wasn't home.

"I'm very sorry, I'd invite you inside, but I have so many things to do today. All the funeral details..." Charlie tried to explain, remembering his promise to Sue to help with any arrangements.

"Of course," Esme agreed, stepping away from the house and Charlie walked them both back to their shiny Mercedes. "You will let us know if you need any thing, won't you Charlie?"

Charlie nodded in agreement, while getting into his cruiser, placing the flowers on the passenger seat. _Sue would like them_, he thought. He smiled and waved at the Cullen's as he backed onto the road and drove away.

* * *

Esme and Alice stood by the car, both feeling surprised and jolted. For all her gifts Alice never would have expect Charlie to seem so normal after hearing about Bella's disappearance and possible demise.

" Some men." Esme said quietly, "one would think they have no emotions at all."

Alice wanted to disagree, she had watched Edward's heartache as they drove back from the reservation, but as though a switch was flicked, he had got out of the Volvo once they had arrived home and was suddenly dispassionate. He discussed with Carlisle and Jasper the best places that they could go to once they were packed, because now they _were_ leaving. Carlisle suggested they stay in Alaska for a few weeks, but Edward kept insisting on an immediate change, something new and fresh. He had then instructed Emmett and Rosalie to take their cars into storage, and ordered a moving van which would fit their larger belongings, the piano, Carlisle's paintings, the wooden cross.

Alice only recognised a flicker of emotion when Esme had suggested they at least remain in Forks until the funeral. For a second Edward's eyes were filled with pain, and then he had answered as coldly as possible, "There's no body, so there will probably be no funeral. Maybe a memorial, but nothing more."

He had locked himself in his room, and Esme had asked Alice to visit and console Charlie with her.

Alice wrapped an arm around Esme's waist, enjoying the comfort of her mother's hug. She refused to believe Bella was dead. She still saw nothing in Bella's future, but when she had mentioned her theory about the werewolves and her gift to Carlisle, he seemed to believe it was possible. The rest of the family, Edward especially, were not as hopeful, Carlisle had explained the reason for the werewolf pack leader to call, which had convinced the rest of the family that Bella would not be found, and from Edward's insistence, they all agreed it would be best to leave.

Alice had accompanied Esme because she could bear to pack yet, to watch her family give up, to watch Edward act as though this was just another town they had to leave because something had gone wrong, as though he wasn't mourning his love.

Alice knew that Edward was calling a second before her phone rang. She stared at the ringing cell, not wanting to answer, until Esme asked who it was.

"Edward?" She asked, holding the phone to her ear and looking pointedly at Esme.

"You both need to come home, now." He demanded without saying hello.

"Why?" Alice asked suspiciously. She liked staying out front of Charlie's house, she could pretend she was just waiting for Bella to come home, rather than worrying where Bella was and whether she was in danger.

"We need to finish packing, I think we should leave Forks today. Tonight at the latest." He replied.

"Edward, I'm not ready to leave."

"Then come home so can get ready."

Alice sighed, "No, I mean, I don't want to leave."

Edward was silent, and Alice wondered if he was angry, was about to start yelling. "Edward," she asked in her most lovable voice, "Please, just a couple more days at least." She glanced at Esme, who smiled, hope filling her eyes.

"Ok, we won't leave today," Edward finally responded. "I have to call Rosalie and stop them putting their cars in storage."

"Thank you, Edward." Alice said softly and he hung up. She understood how difficult it would be to stay in Forks, to stay in their house while he believed that Bella was truly gone.

Esme hugged her and she returned the embrace.

"I can see that things are going to be all-right"

* * *

Edward sat on the floor facing the great south window of his room. Rosalie and Emmett had left to drive their cars and place them in storage. Jasper and Carlisle were still in the next room, organising flights to Europe. Edward agreed that having an ocean between himself and this town could ease the pain. But Edward knew he deserved to be in pain.

_I killed her. __She was happy without me, and I had to come back, had to protect her, had to have her and I couldn't even do that! Why did she want to leave Forks? Why did she go to the reservation? Why did Alice see her jump off a cliff? Why would Bella jump off a cliff?_

_It's all my fault, _Edward ran his hands through his hair, _my fault she tried to leave, my fault she's dead. _He couldn't think of her name, banished the image of her from his mind. He didn't deserve even the small amount of happiness he gained from remembering her.

Alice had begged him to let the family stay, her voice filled with hope and pressure. Even though his family had agreed to leave Forks, he understood that they didn't want to leave. He couldn't punish his family for his mistakes again, so he had agreed with Alice- the family wouldn't leave.

But he had to.

_A thousand years knowing what I've destroyed! A thousand years of misery and loneliness! _Jacob had cursed him with, and Edward now accepted such damnation. He deserved a thousands years of punishment, separated from his family, knowing he was responsible for her death. Edward only knew of one place were he could be kept captive and punished, where he could be miserable for a thousand years.

He slipped into Carlisle's study, and shuffled through his contacts book until he found the phone number he was looking for.

* * *

It was late morning by the time Sam got back to his house, tired and filled with despair. Emily was waiting outside and he pulled her into a hug, enjoying her warmth, her softness, her smell. When she tried to pull away too quickly, he held her closer.

Watching Jacob mourn the woman he loved had rocked Sam's core, he wanted to hold onto Emily and never let her go. She finally loosened his hold and looked up at him, a smile lit up her face but her expression fell at his sadness. He realised that she hadn't yet heard of the news about Bella. He held her closer, wondering how to explain that they had assumed Bella would never been found, Emily and Bella had been growing closer in the last week or so.

"Seth Clearwater's here," She said softly when he hadn't spoken, "he was upset about you banning him from the hunt."

Sam felt a stab of pain as he reminded the rejected look on the young boy's face, they had been trying to remain sensitive with Leah and Seth, but in the panic of chasing Victoria- Sam had yelled at Seth to go home.

"Seth's still too young." He replied softly.

Emily smiled again, "He's more capable than you know" she said while pulling him into the house. She moved towards the kitchen to start breakfast, but Sam wasn't hungry. He felt tired and his legs were like lead, so he went to sit on the lounge before he realised it was occupied. Lying there in a deep sleep, Bella Swan looked so peaceful, oblivious to the chaos which had ensued about her. Even in her sleep she was stroking the head of a large sandy wolf, curled up on the floor. Seth looked up at Sam with begging eyes, whining softly.

"Damn," Sam muttered, rubbing Seth's head comfortingly, "Emily, can you call Billy?"

* * *

**A/N: **Too many of you thought I could kill Bella-but I'm just not that cruel. Bella will die when and because Edward bites her (and then she's a vamp- squeal). I'm writing this story to work with Eclipse and following that Breaking Dawn- so killing Bella wouldn't have been practical.

I have spent the last couple of weeks researching for this chapter- but I just cannot find the answer to the following question: WHEN did Quil become a werewolf? I honestly don't remember, and I've checked forums and read through both New Moon and Eclipse. I wanted Quil to rescue Bella from the woods- but I couldn't find the answer- so Seth had to do. I love Seth- especially after Eclipse, but I'm still curious if it could have been Quil (who I also adore). If someone, _anyone_ might be able to answer that question, I would appreciate it.


	19. Chapter 18: True and Lies

**A/N:**Ok time for a chapter with a few answers - Yay! Woo! (Dancing)- it's been hard to write them as an interesting chapter SO i bet i've left some questions- feel free to review me with them. Except any questions about Edward- i'm not telling yet XD

Thank you NicolieTheGoalie, i'm.dazzled., ilovewthecullens, petites sorcieres, catherine-moonlessnight and Eleniel Cullen for reviewing and answering my question about Quil. I couldn't find information about his first furry days in the Twilight Lexicon (but its still the best website ever!). I found the line which mentioned it- Eclipse, page 114- _"Ah, Quil," Jacob sighed. So then it must have happened- Quil must have joined the pack._

* * *

**Chapter 18: Truth and Lies**

Bella lay on the lounge, keeping her eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep. Sam and Emily were trying to talk quietly in their kitchen, but Sam was obviously upset because his voice kept rising. A great wof had tucked his head under Bella's arm, like a big puppy dog hiding. Her memory was hazy, she wasn't sure how she got to Sam and Emily's, or who the wolf was. She remembered getting lost in the forest, remembered being followed, remembered falling and a sharp pain in her neck which she was convinced had been the teeth of a hungry vampire, but she was alive and there was no fire in her veins- not transformation pain. Shifting her head slightly, another sharp pain made her sure that she had hurt her neck, she could feel a bandage covering whatever injury she had.

Bella still wasn't sure what had happened after she fell. She could vaguely remember being carried by a great sandy-coated wolf, the same wolf curled against the lounge now. She could recall seeing Emily and Seth leaning over her with worried faces. It had still been dark as their troubled faces loomed close. Now sunlight was streaming through the window. The wolf whined softly as Sam's voice rose again from the kitchen.

"Why won't he talk to me?!" He almost yelled, and Bella cringed in reaction.

"Seth's upset and scared of you. He was fine until you came home, and then he transformed again. He knows he can run faster as a werewolf." Emily answered softly, and Bella recognised Seth from the way the great wolf tried to bury his head into her side. She patted his head comfortingly as Sam and Emily started whispering again. Hearing her name, she tried to listen to what they were saying.

"I couldn't call you to let you know she was here! It's not like any of you carry phones while you're furry."

"Why couldn't Seth..." Sam started to argue.

"I told you, he was upset because you wouldn't let him join the hunt. So as soon he was here, he stayed human so he couldn't hear all of you thinking about it."

"You could have sent him..." Sam voice got louder.

"He wouldn't leave. And I agreed if that dangerous vampire came here, he could have held her off until the rest of you could help."

Sam was silent and Bella rubbed Seth's head, grateful that he looked after her. She felt the shiver of fear run through her, that she had been in the woods while the pack was hunting Victoria.

"Did he find her in the woods,near the cliffs ?" Sam asked, quiet voice again.

"No, Seth said she had wandered away from the cliffs and he had 'herded' her closer to here." Bella could hear the smile in Emily's voice when she said 'herded'. "She was asleep outside the front door when I went to find you. Seth was holding her neck, he said she had cut herself on something in the woods."

"Why were you were coming to find me, before you knew Bella was on the reservation?" Sam sounded confused.

Bella had been wondering how the Quileutes, let alone Emily, had known she was on the reservation. Emily was quiet for a second, "I was trying to sleep for hours after you left, but I was worried about you, and then the phone rang. It was one of the Cullens, a female. She told me that Bella could be on the reservation. That she would jump off one of the cliffs."

Bella froze, realising it could have been Alice, that she could have seen her decision to go cliff diving and had tried to contact the pack about it. Then the Cullen's had also known she was on the reservation that morning.

The door banged open and suddenly there was warm hands stroking her face. A warmer drop of salty water on her lips made Bella open her eyes. Jacob knelt by her, looking at Sam, who was now standing behind the lounge. He was crying. He looked down at her, as Sam explained Seth and Emily's story. He smiled, as their eyes met and he kissed her gently on the cheek. She tried to turn and look at him properly, and groaned from the stinging pain in her neck. Jacob's eyes were filled with concern and he held a warm hand over the bandage on her neck.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Sam asked softly, "You know you had us all really worried."

Jacob helped Bella to sit up and she turned to Sam, expecting him to be angry. She had endangered his pack, he sent them on a wild-goose chase because of her, he should have been angry. His face was only gentle and upset, and she wondered if _everyone_been looking for her out of love rather than obligation? Alice had called Emily, tried to contact the pack, had tried to help, so the Cullens and the pack must have felt some sort of concern because she had been missing.

Bella had thought she should leave Forks because it would benefit _everyone_, the pack and the Cullens, if she wasn't around but the concern in Sam's voice, the way Jacob wrapped an arm around her shoulders possessively, had started to convince her otherwise.

"My neck hurts," she grimaced at the pain, but this made Sam smile.

"Well, you're alive to feel that pain, so that's something to be grateful for." He replied, and Jacob made a noise in the back of his throat. Bella turned back to him, tears were running faster down his face.

"I'm so glad you're alive, " he mumbled pulling her into a tight hug.

"Jake, I... can't breathe." Bella choked, but she let him hold her a little longer.

* * *

Jacob gripped the steering wheel with one hand, his other arm holding Bella against his side. She was wide awake but he had insisted he drive her home to sleep. She had thanked Seth repeatedly for looking after her, and it had taken a lot of convincing to get Seth to transform out of his furry shape. Sam had also thanked Seth, had promised that he wouldn't doubt Seth couldn't help with pack business, that he could be be trusted in dangerous situations.

Jacob hadn't let Bella go, had tried to carry her to her truck, but she had convinced him to let her walk. Her truck had been found, which she understood propelled the panic during the night, refuelled and driven to Sam's. Jacob had insisted on driving, so she let him, cuddling into his warm loving side. Bella now knew she couldn't leave Forks, that the Quileutes did care, that Jacob cared. All his anger from the previous night, her ideas that he didn't want to be her friend, had melted away during the panic of the hunt.

As they drove down the road leading to Charlie's, Bella noticed a black car parked in front of the house. Sitting straighter she recognised it as Carlisle's Mercedes and she remembered that it wasn't only the pack who had tried to find her during the night, it wasn't only the pack had been worried about her. Bella leaned eagerly forward wondering which of the Cullens were in the car. Jacob put both hands on the wheel, accelerated and didn't stop the truck at Charlie's, so that they passed the house before Bella could see who was in the black car.

"Jacob, what are you doing!?" Bella turned in her seat, ignoring pain in her neck, to look back at the shiny car. Jacob kept driving.

"It's not safe, that bloodsuckers back there." His entire body was tense as he stared into the windshield.

"No! Jacob, that was Carlisle's car! He's probably trying to find out if I'm OK. Emily said Alice called her, so the Cullen's knew that you were all looking for me. Turn back Jacob!"

Jacob pulled the truck over suddenly, making Bella flip around to look at him, wincing from her neck's injury. _Stop making sudden movements,_ She told herself.

Jacob's eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, was shaking and gripping the steering wheel so his knuckles were white.

"I can't take you back there, Bella, it could be a trap." Bella could hear the lie Jacob was trying to tell, and she didn't believe him.

"It's not a trap, Jake, turn the truck around here. Please." She placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked at her. His eyes were wild, "Jacob?" She asked hesitantly, she wanted to take her hand away, but Jacob was her friend, he would never hurt her.

"I can't, Bella. Don't go there, I can't go with you, I can't protect you from..." He closed his eyes again and swallowed so loud she could hear. "It's on the Cullen's side of the treaty, I can't protect you if they are there. Please, come back to the reservation with me."

"No," Bella refused, pulling her hand away slowly, "I should go see if it's Carlisle, he might just want to see that I'm safe." Bella tried to explain, she was worried he would get mad that she wanted to see the Cullens, wanted to see who was waiting for her.

"Please Bella," he grabbed both of her hands with one of his, pulling her closer, his other hand cradled her cheek. He leaned closer and his warm breathe blew into her face. "I can't explain why, but I don't want you to see _them_, _any of them_. Please, let's just drive back the rez."

Bella stared up into his eyes, filled with love and begging for her mercy. Then she processed what he had said. "Tell me why," she said softly, knowing she could beg as well.

Jacob let go of her, sitting back against the door, rubbing his face with his hands. "I said some things, Bella. Some horrible things, because I though you were dead. I used what I knew, what you had told me, against him...I was upset...I thought you were dead...and I wanted _him to..._" He refused to look at her, as though ashamed.

Bella sat there, thinking _what could I have told Jacob that he could use against someone else?_. She was confused and couldn't understand what Jacob was talking about, so she was relieved when he continued trying to explain without her asking.

"I thought some _horrible _things ... and Bella, I don't think you should go back there now that he's heard those things I thought. I think you should stay at the rez for today, until they are gone. They are probably going to leave... after I..."

Bella stared at Jacob, trying to understand what he was telling her. He had _thought_ things, and someone had _heard those thoughts._ Bella's expression changed from confused to horrified, only _Edward _could have heard...

"What did you say, Jacob? What did you think?" She asked Jacob, pulling his face to look at her.

The Cullens were going to leave again, maybe this time they were going to say good-bye. Jacob didn't met her eyes, didn't answer her, so Bella got out of the truck and started walking back to the house. Her legs felt like jelly, but she forced herself to walk, hoping she could convince whoever was waiting there that they should stay. This time she wouldn't let them leave as easily, she would beg and plead, she would promise to stay out of trouble, to do anything if they would stay. Hours ago, she had been trying to leave, but now that she was sure that the Cullens, that at least Alice cared for her, she wanted them to stay in Forks _with_ her.

The truck door slammed and Jacob was in front of her suddenly. "Bella, I'm serious, I can't stay and protect you at your house, it's on the Cullen's side of the line. Please come with me."

"I can't, Jacob," she tried to step around him, and he stayed in front. The driver's door of Carlisle's Mercedes was opening but Bella was too far away to see inside.

"I don't care what you've done, Jacob. I understand that you were upset, that you thought..." Bella waved her hand in the air, like she could brush away those uncomfortable thoughts. "But you seem to think the Cullen's are leaving, so I need to go and stop them. I don't care if they are mad at me or think I did something horrible, I don't want them to leave. Not yet! I have to try and convince them to stay."

"Don't you understand?" Jacob almost yelled, grabbing her arms to stop her from trying to move away. "Once they leave, the transformations can end- I don't have to be a monster! You were happy when they weren't here, you were, Bella! You were happy _with me!_ If they leave, you can be happy _with me again! _They think you're dead so they'll probably leave now! Can't you just let them leave?"

Bella stared at her friend, unable to believe what he was suggesting. "You want me to let them go, thinking that I'm dead?" She asked softly. "You want me to let people that I care about, that I love, believe I'm dead."

Jacob's angered face turned to anguish as though he was realising what he had said and wished he could take it back. "I didn't mean it like that, it's just..." He let go of her and ran his hands through his hair, nervously. "Please, Bella, just let me drive us back to the reservation."

"You go home, Jacob. I need to go see my friends." Bella replied softly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. As he turned to leave, rejected and miserable, she reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Jake, I_ want_ you to stay, but you say you can't. Well, I can't just let them leave. Please stay with me."

Jacob looked at her for a long second, then he turned and ran into the forest.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Poor Jacob, all Bella wants to do is reassure the Cullens and he takes it as a personal rejection. OK I'll ask for ratings out of 10 again- if you send me a number, I'll send you a cookie!


	20. Chapter 19: Choices

**AN:** ICK! I'm so sorry this chapter took sooo long, I've just started a new job IN A BOOK STORE, so I've been busy selling SM to strangers and getting very excited about BREAKING DAWN!! Any way, I'm trying to end this story by this weekend, BUT it's very hard to do. Huge thanks to thrufirewithoutaburn, i'm.dazzled, NicolieTheGoalie, twilightdaydream, BB's girls, Eleniel Cullen, catherine-moonlessnight, Kolored, edwardmyantidrug, xDreamOn'94 and Breeze.x.x for reviewing, the Cookies are coming in the mail XD

**PS:** Despite the 'long waiting' of this chapter (It's meant to take place over several hours of the Saturday) I suggest you read it very fast!!

* * *

**Chapter 19: Choices**

It had started to rain, a soft patter against the roof of the car. Edward ignored the rain, kept the radio turned off and concentrated on the purr of the engine as he sped along the highway. He didn't think, didn't make a decision. He simply drove.

Driving always felt good, like running but he didn't have to hide or hold back in front of humans when he drove. He had loved driving since the first time Carlisle had taught him, had learnt how to operate a car so quickly, driving was natural to him.

He had driven from Forks without a thought, without considering the direction he was headed. He was running, he knew it, as he had run on the first day he had met Bella. But, after that first day, he had returned, and since then had found love and acceptance and happiness.

But he was a monster, and monster's don't deserve happiness, can't be accepted, shouldn't be loved. The monster had destroyed the single most perfect part of his entire existence, but not the way he had ever thought. Edward had always believed that if any thing happened to Bella because of his monster, it would have fed on her...

Shaking his head, Edward pushed those thoughts away, it was foolish to think of such things, because it was all his hard earned control, his internal steel barriers and concrete walls to contain the blood-hungry monster that had also made him distant and unapproachable. Unlovable.

He had kept the monster at bay, but he had also pushed Bella away.

No, _he_ had walked away from _her_. Edward pushed the stolen sports car faster, wanting to run away from the guilt. _He_ had left _her, _had told her to move on, to forget about him. He had made her believe that _he_ would move on. But he couldn't stay away, couldn't exist without her. And Bella, she had been _upset_ by his return, had told him she didn't want his protection. Had tried to _leave_ because of his return.

He understood now, Jacob Black had made things _very clear. _She moved on as he told her too.

But because of his weakness, of his need to be near her, he had put Bella in danger, had forced her hand and now she was gone.

He deserved the deepest, darkest pit of hell. All of his sins, accumulated until now, all the thefts and the murders and lies, could not equal his responsibility for Bella's innocent life. Edward drove, looking for his punishment, knowing he should be tortured and abused until the end of time. Because the greatest torment would be never being able to hold her again.

* * *

Bella stared at the computer screen as numbers whizzed by faster than she could follow. Jasper had moved a laptop into the living room because there was more space. And at that moment Alice needed the space, she kept pacing around the room, speaking quickly and quietly on her cell, Carlisle was sitting on one of the lounges, also talking on the phone, in a language Bella couldn't recognise. Esme sat next to Bella on the other lounge, holding one of Bella's hands with both of her own. Jasper was also staring at the laptop, his fingers a blur on keyboard, checking the departing flights from Sea Tac. The room was filled with tense atmosphere, occasionally broken by Alice who would exclaim in another language.

Alice and Esme had been waiting for Bella, had been so overjoyed to see her. Bella was sure that she would have bruises from their hugs. They had remained ecstatic while Alice drove them to the Cullen's home so that the rest of the family would have solid evidence of Bella's safety. It was then discovered that Edward had left the house, had left his car and phone, had completely disappeared. Alice was frantic, fraught with concern that she hadn't seen Edward make a decision to leave, hadn't yet decided where he was going. She couldn't even see how he had decided to travel.

"He keep's changing his mind!" Alice grumbled, pocketing her phone. "He's altering his decisions so often, it's like a blur in my mind, I can't see anything clearly." She stormed about the room, rubbing her hands together.

Emmett came down the stairs suddenly, carrying an open briefcase. "He took four of the forged passports."

Jasper asked him which names, and began scanning the flight passenger lists for those names. "I can't find any," he finally announced.

"He's not doing this again," mumbled Carlisle as he dialled a different number on the phone.

"I didn't want him to leave last year, we should have stayed with him this morning, " Esme said, and Carlisle nodded, moving to sit next to her. He ran an arm across her shoulders, squeezing them gently.

"Where was he last year?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"Somewhere in South America," Emmett answered while rummaging in the briefcase. Carlisle changed the number on the phone and began speaking in Portuguese.

"What can I do?" Bella asked Esme, feeling useless and idle. "This is my fault, I should be doing something to help."

Esme patted her hand while she listened to Carlisle's side of the phone conversation. "This isn't your fault, dear. You've done nothing wrong. Don't worry, we'll find him and then he'll come home."

Bella had felt so horrified when she heard about the night the Cullens had experienced, the long waiting that Esme had sat through, the chasing back and forth that Alice described. That Edward had flown to Seattle and then stolen a car to drive back with. She couldn't understand why Edward would make such an effort to protect her, when he no longer loved her. Now he had left, because he thought something had happened to her. She was so confused, but felt guilty that his family were fraught with worry and needed to help bring Edward home.

Jasper suddenly exclaimed and began typing faster. "I found one of the names," he explained. Emmett, Carlisle and Esme froze, waiting for Jasper to continue. Rosalie entered from the family dining room, throwing the cell she had been using onto a lounge.

"I hate speaking to Eastern Europe!" She exclaimed, before noticing the other's faces. "What did you find out?"

"He's going to Rome," Jasper finally announced. Carlisle redialed and began speaking quickly in Italian. Alice gasped and flew into the room, her eyes wide with fear and shock.

"No, he's going to Volterra."

* * *

Rosalie drove the Volvo because her BMW didn't have enough space for Jasper, Alice, Bella and Emmett. Jasper was on a call, in the front passenger seat, talking to the airport in Rome, and Alice was next to Bella in the back waiting for another vision. She had explained that Edward was planning to contact the Volturi, but she still couldn't see why.

Bella knew why and had quickly explained this to the Cullens, the conversation she had with Edward on her birthday, while they watched Romeo and Juliet ran through her head as soon as Alice mentioned Volterra. _I wasn't going to live without you,_ Edward had confessed that day, and the Cullen's were easily convinced that of his intentions. Bella had been almost hysterical at the idea, and Emmett still had a comforting arm around her shoulders as they drove, but she couldn't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had insisted on accompanying the siblings to the airport, they were hoping to stop Edward from such a horrible mistake.

Carlisle and Esme had decided to remain at the house trying to contact the Volturi themselves, but they were driving to the airport to find Edward before the Volturi did.

Jasper was suddenly yelling in Italian, then hung up the phone with a word that Bella thought could be a curse. "They won't help us, they say they can't delay him at the airport without Interpol's contact or instruction. Should I try to delay Edward's flight?"

Alice closed her eyes, sitting straight against her seat.

"No, it's already departed," Alice sighed, "We have to go after him, catch the next flight to Italy. And find him in Volterra.

It was after noon when they arrived at the airport, and decided that Emmett, Jasper and Alice should catch the next possible flight, though Alice kept arguing it would be the wrong way to get Edward back."You're going to end up fighting with Edward or the Volturi and those are fights you can't win!"

Emmett frowned at Alice as they walked towards the departures area, "I can take Edward in a fight."

Rosalie suddenly grabbed his arm, "But one of you will be hurt, and _this_ isn't worth fighting with each other. Alice is right, no fighting!"

Emmett and Jasper agreed to only 'restrain' Edward once they were in Italy, but Rosalie still looked worried and Alice kept insisting the plan wouldn't work. Bella felt entirely hopeless.

"Even if we get there in time to stop him, he might never believe us." Alice kept repeating, "We've got very slim chances right now."

They continued to argue until they reached the counter, and Bella felt her panic rising, wondering with all the trouble they were having just to organise a flight, if Edward could be contacted in time. The airline salesperson presented another problem, "There are only two seats available on the next flight to Rome. I could book you for two seats now and a third seat on a later flight." She suggested.

The Cullens continued to argue over who would be best to catch the first flight, they eventually agreed that Alice should, as she would foresee Edward's decisions, but both Emmett and Jasper were anxious to accompany her.

"What if I went with Alice?" Bella asked quietly, "If Edward saw that I was alive, then he would come home and the Volturi wouldn't be involved." The four vampires stared at her, shocked.

"You do have some impressive ideas under pressure," Emmett complimented, "but flying to Volterra, Bella?"

"Bella, you would be in such danger, if the Volturi saw you, as a human you know too much about us--" Jasper started to argue, but Alice stopped him with a gentle hand on his mouth, and closed her eyes. For a minute she was silent and still, and then she opened her eyes and looked at Bella.

"Jasper's right, it's very dangerous Bella, but it could work."

As they bought the last two tickets, Rosalie pulled Bella aside, staring down at her, "You would risk your life for him?" She asked quietly, "And stop Emmett and Jasper from risking their own lives?"

Bella nodded, wondering what Rosalie was asking, if she was really worried for Bella's safety as well as her brothers. "I'd do anything to save Edward, to protect your family."

"Our family," Rosalie responded quietly before Alice interrupted them, realising that Bella didn't have her passport.

Jasper disappeared for a minute, and then returned from the car with a forged passport for each of them. When Bella asked how he made one for her so fast, he explained, "Last year, we had to travel inter-state with you, so back then I figured it would just be a matter of time before we'd have you travelling internationally, it seemed practical to make a passport, just in case."

Once the tickets were bought, they all headed further into the airport, but Alice and Bella had an hour before their plane boarded, so they sat at a small cafe to wait. Alice insisted Bella order food, but she could only mange a few bites of the hamburger. Finally, the boarding was announced and Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie wished them luck at the gate. Emmett and Jasper wanted to buy seats on the next flight, but Alice insisted they didn't.

"Don't follow us," Alice whispered, as Jasper held her as tight as possible. Bella turned away, couldn't bear to watch them separate, "One way or another, we'll come back, I promise."

Alice and Bella quickly hugged the others one last time, before they were shuffled onto the plane by the air hostesses. Despite the heavy rain, from her seat, Bella could still see the other three inside the airport. As the plane started to move away, she watched as Emmett enveloped Rosalie in his arms and Jasper pressed himself against the glass. Next to her, Alice was also watching out the window, and as the plane turned towards the runway, Alice closed the shutter, "I hate lying to him."

* * *

**AN**: URGH That was terrible!! Clap your hands if you like Rosalie?? Ok fingers crossed I have the next chapter finished by tonight!!


	21. Chapter 20: Council

**AN: **OK, time for something COMPLETELY different. I hope this works. Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter- twilightdaydream, catherine-moonlessnight, Mimi-Love-4ever, bloomsky, Breeze.x.x, edwardmyantidrug, i'm.dazzled., Nicolie the Goalie (I'm sorry this didn't get up before your vacation- hope you're having fun though!)

This is a shorter chapter than most, but I wanted to post what i've got done now, and I'll try and write more tomorrow!!

* * *

**Chapter 20: Council**

Edward Cullen stood, straight and very still in front of the long table. His greeting and requests had been formal and solemn, and now they sat watching him stand in silence, waiting for their response. Caius stared at him with confronting eyes, hoping that his sullen face would break down in fear. _How could one stand in front of the Volturi council and not be scared? _Caius thought, and Edward's eye flickered to meet his, filled with determination and anger. They stared at each other for a moment, before Aro shifted in his seat and coughed, glancing between them.

Edward turned to look at Aro, his fists clenched firmly at his side. "I have travelled all the way to Italy, for many hours, so that I could make this request in person. I don't mean to be impatient but --"

"Of course, of course" Aro stood, clasping his hands together. "But we wont be able to make any decisions at this very moment, if you desire, we can offer you a change of fresh clothes, possibly some refreshment, while you wait."

Edward smiled dryly, which Caius guessed was about the refreshments Aro had in mind. They had not been surprised by Edward's eyes, he had been evidence that all of Carlisle Cullen's family followed his contrary diet.

"I thank you for the offer, but I have no such needs at this moment. I will await your response in the public part of the city."

He bowed slightly, before turning to leave. Aro was at his side before he could move any further.

"There is something, I wish to know before we do confer." Aro gestured with a hand towards Caius, and then Marcus, "something I'm sure my brothers would also like to understand."

Edward looked at Aro, a frown wrinkling his forehead, waiting for his question.

Caius leaned forward expectantly, he was sure he knew what Aro was planning, was happy to let him attempt to read the boy's mind. Marcus sighed, his boredom evident.

Aro shook his head, laughing gently. "We only wish to know why you have come here, why you would dare to make such a request of us?"

Edward looked away, staring at the window which held a view of the Italian countryside. The afternoon sun was slowly setting in the distance, casting an orange haze through the meeting room. Caius wondered for the moments that the boy was silent, what his thoughts were, or rather, _where_his thoughts were. What circumstances had driven the boy to request imprisonment for no crime? Caius knew that they could never consider the Edward's request without knowing the reasons for it, because of their friendship with Carlisle. Finally Edward sighed, and looked directly at Aro.

"Love." He said softly.

Caius sat back in his chair, his nose wrinkled in disgust. _What a pathetic reason for a waste of existence, of ability_, he thought, and knew that no matter the story, he would not agree to damaging their goodwill relationship with Carlisle, because this boy had let his emotions control his destiny.

Aro however, chuckled softly, rubbing his hands together, almost in glee. Caius knew that Aro was an ethusiast for love stories and happy endings.

"Oh, I do look forward to hearing such a story that could lead to these circumstances." He said, holding his hand out to Edward.

Edward at first looked at the hand confused, then understanding filled his eyes, Caius assumed he heard Aro's intentions in their thoughts.

"I don't think I can...I mean...I'm not sure..." Edward hesitated, glancing from Aro, to the rest of them sitting behind the table. Caius was satisfied that the boy now seemed scared, or at least nervous.

Aro chortled, even more gleefully, stepping closer to Edward.

"Rest assured, Edward, it is only to further understand your dilemma and make the decision which will be best for you as well as your family and ours. "

Edward grimaced slightly at the mention of his family, and Caius wondered if Carlisle had any knowledge of where his 'son' was, if Edward had planned on contacting his family after this day. He continued to frown before reaching forward and offering Aro his hand.

Aro covered Edward's offered hand with both of his, and closed his eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips.

* * *

After Edward had been allowed to leave, Aro had quickly explained the background behind his request- the boy _was_ in love, the object of his interest deceased. Marcus was disgusted by this part of the story.

"She was _human_," he spat, "then how could the boy possibly...how would he have resisted...?"

Aro lay a soothing hand on Marcus' sleeve, smiling pitifully. "With great strength it seems. Just imagine the potential of the boy, his talent and his resilience, he could be a powerful weapon."

Caius nodded thoughtfully, Aro's suggestion was conceivable, but Carlisle's 'son' had come to them wishing for imprisonment, not work.

"Could he be conscripted?" Caius wondered out loud, but his thoughts were more. _Would Carlisle permit a member of his family to become a member of theirs?_

They allowed themselves to deliberate over the matter through the night at a leisurely pace, though Marcus wanted to dismiss the boy and his heartbreak immediately. Caius was concerned of the hassle which convincing the boy to join them would require, that possibility of spoiling the relationship between them and Carlisle.

While Caius had never approved of Carlisle's choices, had believed him to be a fool and would torment himself and others with his foolish ideas, they had supported Carlisle's endeavor to move to the 'new world'. And Carlisle had become a financial and political advantage, for while the Volturi were rich beyond their means, having an independent, grounded connection in the Americas seemed to be a tactical strategy. It was a means of gaining knowledge of the happenings of their kind on the other continent if they ever required it.

However hearing what the Cullens had allowed, that they had exposed a human to their true natures and _not_dealt with her as the Volturi expected, unsettled Caius. He was even more convinced of Carlisle's foolishness, allowing a younger vampire to bond with a human, allowing such a bond to extend to the degree that the human's eventual death, which Caius was surprised had taken so long to occur, had affected Edward, had influenced him to seek punishment from them. It seemed contrary to all of Caius's beliefs, after all, a human who knew about their world _should_ be put to death. Why should the boy request imprisonment for this?

Aro continued to argue they should take the opportunity to capture Edward as one of their own. He believed that Edward had been delivered to them by the fates as an addition to their small but powerful forces. Marcus however was resentful of this idea.

"There is so much anger in that boy, so much grief. He could never be useful, could never see the potential in himself under our direction. This _love_, this connection to a _human_," he said the words as though it was a curse, "has weakened him. Edward Cullen will not agree to work for us, to call us master. You cannot bend his will that way. Turn him away at dawn, why should we keep him here, punish him for a thousand years for a crime which has already been repaired. The human girl is dead, her knowledge of us and her life itself was his only offense. Turn him away, and let him deal with his foolish remorse."

"How can you say such things, Marcus?" Aro asked softly, "The boy has run from his grief,_ to us_. This is a chance _for us_ and him to gain. The illegality has been solved by the girl's death, yes, so we can ignore the misdeed of his former life, and direct him towards a gratifying one as ours. We should not allow him to walk away, we should offer him no other option but a thousand years, not of punishment and torment, but as our kind are meant to live. He would grow in power and knowledge under us."

Caius did agree to this. "If you truly wish for the boy to stay, he must not be allowed to continue the preposterous ways he has been taught. He cannot possibly resist if he is to remain here, I insist that he should undertake our lifestyles entirely. He cannot be trusted if he continues his expedient dietary habits."

Aro smiled, "I do believe that, with the right temptation, we can convince young Edward to remain here with us, and assume our lifestyle to even your satisfaction, Caius."

* * *

**AN: **ARGH I'M NEVER GOING TO FINISH IN TIME!! Do you promise to continue reading even after Breaking Dawn is released?? What if on Friday i stop posting for a few days, i give you a week or so to finish the series (or re-read it many times as I plan to do), I'll start posting again next week?? Will any one still be reading??


	22. Chapter 21: Temptation

**AN:** I spent the day decorating a bookstore in anticipation of Breaking Dawn. Red, white and black balloons were everywhere! So it was very easy to be inspired to finish this chapter tonight.  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the Marcus chapter, and told me they would continue reading: theone101, petites sorcieres, i'm.dazzled., VampiresandChocolate (mmm chocolate...mmm vampires...homer simpsons drooling sound) ellabella13, Kolored, Sbaglio, xDreamOn'94, Breeze.x.x, soccor16, photoshoppedflaws, twilightdaydream, Megan.T. Cullen, vampireshavemorefun (they sure do!), Annudaone and Sunshine0235 as well as Losh and LambCubUnderTheGun who reviewed older chapters (hope you guys have caught up!)

* * *

**Chapter 21: Temptation**

Edward stood watching the crowd move through the plaza, he felt more weary and tired than he ever had in his many years. It was a moment that he wished he could have slept, not out of boredom or wistfulness but in a need for reprise, with a desire to stop thinking, stop seeing her face in his mind. But Edward knew that if he _could_ sleep, if he _could_ dream, it would only be of Bella, so his wishes were wasted. Sunrise had come and gone, it was now well past noon and still the Volturi council had not sent for him, he was beginning to wonder how difficult his request had been.

Since Edward had considered himself fit for punishment, deserving only the darkest pit in hell, only one place had come to mind- only Volterra could be Alcatraz for him, for any vampire. No where else had the ability to lock his kind away, to contain and punish- Carlisle's stories of the place, of the mind games and the screams into the night, had formed Edward's decision. He had felt in control as he had flown to Italy, he knew what he was doing. He had run from Forks mindlessly, but once on the plane, he was thinking clearly again.

He had learned a lot about the Volturi council, in the few minutes that he had stood before them, and he understood even more now how precious their careful pantomime, their lies and deceits for the human world was. How their rules were more important to them, than anything else.

It was in that moment that Edward decided he would force the Volturi's hand, that if they had not decided to imprison him for a thousand years in the darkest parts of their castle, he would commit an offence which would make them punish him. It was only a matter of how to offend. Edward was torn between a dramatic gesture, such a lifting a car over his head, or a violent one- the streets were crowded with the St Marcus day festival, it would be so easy to show the true nature of a vampire to the crowds.

It was in those moments of indecison, that another vampire, wearing dark grey hooded cloak, floated down the alley towards him, closely followed by a second. Edward understood the summons and followed them into the castle without a word.

* * *

They were waiting in a different room this time, from Carlisle's descriptions Edward knew that it was a room they used for communal feeding. There were more of them gathered this time as well, most covered in long cloaks in various shades of black and grey. Some he knew, simply from Carlisle's descriptions, others he quickly learnt the names of from their thoughts. Aro clapped joyfully at the sight of Edward through the door, breaking away from the group that was centered around him and moving rapidly to meet with Edward in the middle of the room.

"Ah, young Edward, how glad we are you remained in our city overnight. We had such wonderful news."

Edward looked doubtfully at other vampires in the room. Their expressions and thoughts did not reflect Aro's enthusiasm, or belief that what Edward was about to hear was wonderful. Aro offered him a hand, which could have been interpreted as a casual handshake, but Edward knew better, he walked further into the room without letting Aro touch him.

"We have decided, to not fulfill your exact request," Aro continued, now facing him.

Edward let the anger flood through him, not wanting to contain his reaction to this rejection. How could Aro claim this news to be _wonderful?_ In his mind, Edward began running through the possible scenarios to force the Volturi to punish him.

"But, we now have an offer for you. In a way, it is what you requested but with a few of our own additional expectations." Aro's thoughts anticipated a happy reaction from Edward to this explanation.

Edward only looked at him with hostility and disgust. He already knew the offer that was about to be made, could see it clearly in Aro's mind.

"Your talents, Edward, both your natural and developed abilities, are exceedingly impressive. We have agreed that you could lead a lucrative existence amongst us, for us. It would be as you originally requested, you would remain in Volterra for however long, and we would ensure that your life was as miserable as possible." Aro smiled cheerfully at Edward, who only continued to fume silently. So Aro tried to continue, attempted to be more convincing.

"Of course we will work out the details, such as the length of your imprisonment later. And, if occasionally, we as your _hosts_ would ask a favour of you. A small task or endeavor, and who are you to refuse us- after we have complied with your requests."

Edward stared at Aro, fury steaming through him. To any other, the charm would have been convincing, what he was requesting seemed too simple, the imprisonment that Edward wanted and deserved, in exchange for the occasional work. But Edward knew that with the Volturi, it would not be as simple as it sounded, from Aro's mind he saw that he would become a slave, a piece of weaponry that the Volturi could use at their pleasure. And if he dared disobeyed their requests, they could destroy him, they could punish him by destroying the little that he still had left to love, his family. He had lost Bella, but he could not risk his family, would not risk their safety.

"There is another detail which we need to discuss, I hope you understand, Edward, that if you do continue to remain in Volterra, you cannot possibly continue feeding only from alternate food sources. You will commit to a full and proper vampire diet."

This was the breaking point for Edward, it had been a mistake to ever consider Volterra as an option, but before he could refuse, Aro stepped away, his smile gleaming as his thoughts rapidly changed. He was angry that Edward did not immediately accept him offer, and had decided to forcefull Edward into accepting, or test how long Edward could resist.

Movement on the side of the room caught Edward's attention and he turned to watch several humans herded in by two more vampires. Marcus, Caius and the rest who had lingered around three grandiose thrones moved closer to the huddled group of humans. Edward stared at the floor, ignoring the panicked, abruptly ending screams, he stopped breathing so he wouldn't smell the aroma of fresh blood as it filled the room. He clenched his fists and stood as still as possible, hoping that this feeding would not last any longer.

He knew that those deaths had been for his benefit, that the Volturi were flaunting their nourishment in an attempt to disarm and provoke him. The monster inside him was seduced, had caught the smallest whiff of the blood and was now begging to be fed. Edward cursed himself then, realizing that he was thirsty, that he had not fed in over a week, but he remained a statue, gazing intently at the floor, filling his mind with Carlisle's words and Esme's trust. He would not fail them, he would not be turned against those beliefs.

Finally he looked up, to see that Aro had returned to his position beside him. They had been joined by a smaller creature, Jane, Edward named her from Aro's thoughts. Another vampire the twin of Jane, was walking towards them, dragging the last alive human, the poor girl was young, maybe sixteen, and crying, her eyes shut tight as though she could pretend she wasn't in a room filled with monsters. Edward was filled with a wave of pity for her, wondering what she thought she had just witnessed, knowing _he_ was what she now feared. Alec dumped the girl at Edward's feet and she continued to cry, Edward tried to focus on his compassion for her, but the monster was also awake now, he could smell the girl's blood. And he was terribly thirsty.

"Feed Edward, your eyes are so black, we know how you thirst. Feed from her, and live as you are meant to, with us." Aro whispered softly, caressing the girl's head. She whimpered at his touch, and tried to move away, but Aro held her, gently yet firmly at Edward's feet. The monster and Aro were both repeating the same words but Edward refused to listen to either voice. Aro, leaned down and pulled the girls arm upwards, running her wrist directly in front of Edward's face very slowly.

"Do it, Edward." Aro spoke with a hint of menace behind his cheerful tone. Edward closed his eyes, ignoring the veins which were pounding with the girl's blood. "Jane," Aro spoke again softly, and a bolt of pain ripped through Edward. He opened his eyes, struggling to remain standing, and stared at the small vampire, who was smiling with mirth at him.

The pain ended as quickly as it began, and Edward knew now that he was being tortured into submission, he would feed, or continue to be at Jane's mercy.

A flash of silver caught his eye, and Aro was holding a small sharp knife.

"Sometimes, I like a clean opening too," he said casually as he slid the knife across the girl's taunt wrist. She gasped in pain as the blood welled and pulsed out of the wound. Edward stared down at the red liquid, calling to him. The scent flooding his senses. "Feed Edward, feed to avoid the pain."

"No," he finally said, taking a step back, closing his eyes. Another blast of pain began at his temple and grew until it filled his entire body. But this time he was expecting it, though Edward couldn't think, couldn't breathe, the pain wasn't overwhelming, it was other distractions which destroyed his resolve.

Through the pain, Edward was suddenly aware of a change in the scent, it became a deliciously sweet smell which increased the venom in his mouth naturally and almost brought a sob from his throat. It was so very close to Bella's, so very real. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry. How could they be so insulting? How could they dare to offer him a human, even knowing his desire to resist? And now they were offering a human whose scent was so much like Bella's. He never thought it would be possible, and as the pain increased, his mind filled with thoughts, many not his own. As though that scent and the pain rippling through him had destroyed his ability to dim the thoughts of others, and because of that, wave after wave of thoughts were pressing into his mind, and so he couldn't focus on the scent. Couldn't determine how it could be so like Bella's, and yet he knew it wasn't hers. The pain began to lessen and he realized that it was not the girl before him who had such an alluring scent, there was another human in the hallway behind him, who smelled exactly like Bella. There was one crucial difference with this new victim, from outside the room, he could hear her thoughts, hear her convincing herself that she was going to walk out alive, telling herself not to cry.

The pain increased again, a moment after Edward realized that the voice, the thoughts from the other room were also familiar, but he couldn't place them, couldn't remember that voice as the monster growled deep within. The monster only wanted to know about the scent, and the blood which held that scent, the monster didn't care for the voice.

He was torn between the pain in his body, the screams of the monster for blood, and the crowding thoughts in his mind. It was as though every person in the room was shouting at him with their thoughts, he couldn't hear anything in particular any more, only noise. Yet through that noise and the pain he could tried to focus on the 'voice' of his supposed victim, a quieter, familiar voice which was begging, babbling. _Don't cry...please don't cry...crying won't help. This is all my fault...my mistake...I shouldn't have let you...please don't cry...I lied...I know...I'm sorry..._

Edward opened his eyes, his mind clear, the pain gone. He stared up from the floor at Aro, and beside him little Jane. He tried to breathe and swallow the venom, but a fresh wave of the scent hit his nostrils, and he was suddenly standing, the monster in control. The first girl was gone, Edward didn't know if she lived or was dead. There wasn't even blood on the tiled floor. But he knew there was a second girl, a second victim, but she was not even in the room, they were still testing his limits, intending to break him. They had found someone, this second girl with a scent just like Bella's on purpose.

"Yes, Edward. We found her especially for you." Aro encouraged, "let the vampire inside guide you, release you."

Aro thoughts revealed their plan then, and Edward heard and knew why he was being tested. Aro had used Edward's memories, his thoughts, against him. Had instructed his best tracker, Heidi, to find a human in the city who matched Bella in so many ways. Edward knew without moving into the next room that the poor girl would be the same age, had long dark brown hair and deep chocolate eyes, and had pale white skin. She even had a scent like Bella. She had been hunted and chosen specifically to tempt him, to test him. They wanted to know how strong was his resolve, how much temptation could he resist- even with la tua cantante.

He was disgusted by their attitude, forcing him to feed on some girl who was, in so many ways, like Bella, to destroy his resistance, to break him to their desires.

Edward wanted to turn away from the open door which led to the hallway, but he suddenly heard the victim's thoughts again. This time however, without the pain which Jane had been causing, or the thoughts of the others distracting him, Edward knew that voice. He was walking towards the door before any of the rest could say a word. He knew from Aro and Caius' thoughts that they were pleased, they thought they had won. But Edward had no intention on feeding of what was waiting for him.

Walking into the hallway, he saw what he knew was real, but couldn't believe was true. Felix was standing guard, a few feet from two other figures, huddled against the wall. Alice stood with her back to Edward, her arms firmly around the waist of a collapsing, sobbing Bella. Edward went straight to them, ignoring Felix, pulling Bella from Alice's arms, holding her against his chest, before silencing Alice's surprised but relieved protests with a glare. He bent forward, kissing Bella gently on the head, savoring the scent which only moments before had been torturing him. No other scent, he knew then, no other scent could even compare, could ever be as wonderful and unique as Bella. He would never be deceived by such things again.

* * *

**AN**: Cookies for reviews...i think thats a fair trade


	23. Chapter 22: Destiny

**AN:** Thank you beella., Mimi-Love-4ever, theone101, catherine-moonlessnight, Kolored, BB's girls, Losh, twilightdaydream, Breeze.x.x, iwantmyownEdward, i'm.dazzled., xDreamOn'94 and ErinM844 for reviewing the last chapter-

YAY EDWARD AND BELLA TOGETHER AGAIN!! I'm going to ask you to make an assumption for this chapter, it's going to follow the same basic path as Chapter 21 in New Moon. It's my belief that it is Bella, Edward and Alice's destiny to have this meeting with the Volturi (Hence the name of the chapter). Therefore you can safely assume that anything I didn't change about the original chapter has been kept. I left a lot of the original conversation out though because you've all read it before and I doubt you'll need to read it again. It's terribly unoriginal, but I feel like this needs to be in the story, whether AU or not. I did try to add some originality however and worked from the mind of Marcus. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 22: Destiny**

Marcus glared at the three standing before them, wishing Heidi would return. He was tired of these dramas and the smell of the human girl, in a room filled with the scent of fresh blood, made his throat burn with thirst.

Edward was holding the human against his side, protectively but also intimately. As though such a touch shared between them was casual. She was clinging to him as well, as though he _could_ protect her, but also as though she knew that their time together was ending, and she was savouring what she had left. The smaller female vampire who she had been found with, Alice, also stood close, though not touching, seeming to understand the intimacy the other two needed, but was also prepared to protect the human.

It was surprisingly, though Marcus didn't let it show, the degree of intimacy between Edward and his human, the intuitive ease they had with each other, against what seemed natural. He could sense the complexity of their bond, knowing now that his brothers had underestimated it, could feel the layers of devotion and love the pair had for each other. They were like two parts of one whole, connected in a way that seemed sincere and existing before they had even met. As though they were 'made' for each other. Aro revelled in such romantics, Caius refused to believe in them

Marcus was only disgusted by them.

He had been disgusted from the moment the boy had embraced the human rather than feeding on her, knowing their plans had failed, that they had not found a similar temptation but the original, and Edward's feelings for the human were obviously greater than his instincts. It made Marcus think that perhaps there was something wrong with the boy, that he had been too influenced by his 'father', that this family didn't think, didn't behave, as vampires should.

From the moment the boy had his arms around the human, Edward had insisted on trying to leave, on at least having the human leave. But Aro was far too incredulous and excited at the idea that _this_ was Bella, Edward's enigma. He had greeted both the human and Alice joyfully, like old friends, and tried to encourage Caius and Marcus to do the same. Marcus was not impressed, he ignored the conversation that was taking place at the centre of the room, looking expectantly at the far door, as though wishing would make Heidi appear.

Marcus was even more regretful that they didn't turn the boy away before knowing his story, before listening to his request. It was fortunate that they hadn't though. Now they knew that their _dearest_ friend Carlisle had allowed his family to break the most crucial law for any vampire. The girl was living evidence of the violation committed by Carlisle's family. Marcus was determined that the human shouldn't have been allowed to live, now that they knew who she was, but Aro had insisted on prattling with the three as though this situation was not prohibited.

"Come, come, " Aro encouraged, reaching out eagerly, "I simply must understand, must hear your story!"

But neither Edward nor Alice spoke, and the human remained silent as well. The brother and sister stared at each other over the top of the humans head and Marcus marvelled at their private communication, something which was obviously a natural part of their relationship, as long practised habit between the two.

Aro seemed jealous by their abilities, and attempted to interrupt, "There are something I am curious about," stepping closer.

Both Edward and Alice froze, staring at Aro, and their shifting bodies allowed a fresh wave of scent to waft through the room. Marcus had to close his eyes in an attempt to remain patient. The human had a cut on her neck, it was no longer a fresh wound but he could still smell it, and he wondered about the cause of the injury. It was directly over her jugular, and as she gave Aro her hand timidly, her pulse sped faster, the blood clotting around the wound. Marcus knew that the wound was dry, could see that it was covered by a bandage, but it was like a weak link in the already delicate chain of her defences, that shallow wound in her fine skin. How easy it would be to free the blood clotted around that wound. He longed to rip into her skin and released that flying pulse.

He focused for too long on that tiny cut, which he couldn't even see, and blinked when Edward suddenly dropped to the floor, writhing again in pain. He hadn't realised they were torturing the visitors again, was bemused by the way the boy fought against Jane's talent. The human reacted interestingly as well, crying out and shouting for them to stop. He had never seen a human that was so comfortable in their presence as to shout in anything but fear. She almost acted protectively for Edward. Jane's focus changed towards the human, but the girl only stared in horror at Edward, no sign of pain in her entire person.

Marcus watched Aro's impressed and delighted reaction, but was neither impressed or delighted now. He was worried by this strange human, who could resist their talents, who had developed some kind of hold onto another vampire. He wanted her destroyed, not tested. Marcus had found his own la tua cantante, several times in his long life, it was an exquisite discovery each time, a feeding which was savoured and he knew the anticipation of such a feeding could be almost as good as the feeding itself. But he could not understand the boy, who at first had wanted to waste his own existence, his own talents, because of the human girl and now wasted the opportunity, the gift of his own trusting singer.

"She confounds us all, dearest!" Aro laughed, a gentle hand on Jane's shoulder. Jane looked ready to pounce at the confounding human. If it was possible, Marcus was even more uninterested in the meeting. She did not confound him, he easily observed her bond with both Edward and Alice, and so he was not as unsettled as Aro and Jane seemed to be, but disturbed by the possible power in the seemingly innocent human.

"So, now, what do we do with you?" Aro mused, rubbing his chin with a hand. Marcus could see Edward and Alice stiffen from where he sat, even the human's knuckles whitened as she clung tighter to Edward's waist. They obviously knew, as Marcus did, of what the Volturi intended to do with them. He concentrated on the beating pulse of the human, a beating which would soon end, as the three stood as still as possible. Her heart rate seemed to speed up with each question Aro asked, each decision. Venom pooled in his throat as he remembered the taste of the woman from only minutes before. She had barely been an appetizer, and he was hungry for the main course. Marcus allowed his mind to wander, a leisure he did not often enjoy, listening to the racing heart of the human, wondering how much longer Heidi would be.

Suddenly Caius protested loudly, and Marcus simply raised an eyebrow, wondering what exactly Aro was requesting in the moments of his inattention. The human also stared at Aro, her face incredulous, before softly rejecting the offer.

"Caius, surely you see the potential," Aro argued, "I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

"She knows too much." Caius hissed at Aro, then he looked thoughtful and spoke directly towards Edward. "_You_ have exposed our secrets, though only _her _life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

Marcus wholeheartedly though silently agreed and was happy to dismiss the three to their punishment- the human would die and the Cullens would mourn her loss. Perhaps then the boy would reconsider their offer. However Aro did not agree.

"Unless, you intend to offer her immortality."

Marcus felt a surge of outrage towards his brother, infuriated by how many chances Aro would give them after breaking such a sacred law, He was disgusted at Aro, who still desired a happy ending for the odd pair. After all, Marcus could see the intensity of their relationship, but the Cullens had violated the essence of the Volturi's control, they and the human deserved nothing more than her death. Marcus however, betrayed none of these thoughts, allowing Aro a moment to read the thoughts of Alice, allowing him to lead. He would speak to his brother, away from the guests, after he had fed. As though on cue, Marcus could hear the group of 'guests' moving towards the room, and he was eager to move on from this unsettling business.

The matter seemed to be sorted without Marcus' interference. He was still determined to speak to Aro about the matter, at some later point but he watched as Aro cheerfully fare-welled the Cullens and their human. They hurried to leave, as Heidi began to led a large group of people inside the room.

Exceedingly pleased with Heidi's 'catch', Marcus stood, moving with the rest of his family to much more pleasant activity.

* * *

**AN:**This chapter was inspired by _Incantare_, I read her one-shot _St Marcus_ months ago and wanted to do something similar. (Huge Sigh of Relief) I now need to finish this story... because I've started writing another... and I don't want to be posting both at once...SOOO we're obviously almost at the end! (tear)


	24. Chapter 23: Contiguity

**AN:** Deep and sincere apologies for not posting sooner. I'm afraid I started reading BD on Monday night (after a full working day selling Twilight books and being very excited about them) and I didn't put it down until early this morning. (Yes I read through the night- finishing at about 2 AM) And I struggled all day to stop living in the fantastical world which SM has written about long enough to actually think about the direction of this chapter.

Thank you to Eleniel Cullen for the multiple chapter reviews- your response is on the way. Thank you also to twilightdaydream, theone101, catherine-moonlessnight, xDreamOn'94 for reviewing the last chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Contiguity**

Edward kept his arms tightly wrapped around Bella, long after they had left the city. He gave himself the excuse that she needed to be comforted to stay close to her for as long possible, as she didn't seem to mind his protective hold around her. He was sure it wouldn't be long until she moved away from his arms, but for now Bella let him hold her.

_She must be so scared_, he thought, completely understanding how the meeting with the Volturi would frighten her. He shouldn't have exposed her to such a world, let her risk her precious existence to secure his pitiful one. At first he had been furious at Alice, though he didn't let it show, that she would even consider bringing Bella to Volterra.

He wanted to be angry still, especially with the ultimatum settled against his wishes, Alice had been definite that Bella would be one of them, almost from the first few weeks they had known her. Now she had convinced Aro of this future. Edward had always known of the futility in Alice's visions, that is was the possibility rather than certainty that she saw- and until now, had remained hopeful that he hadn't damned Bella, by knowing her, loving her. But now it seemed as though he had no choice.

He couldn't be angry at Alice, after all she had risked her own life as well, and while she had gambled what was most precious to him, he forgave her, because he now held Bella in his arms.

Bella shuddered in his embrace, and he ran his hands along her arms, hoping the movement would comfort and warm her. He should have moved to the other side of the car, so that his chilled skin didn't make her cold, but he was far too selfish at that moment. Her eyes were closed, but Edward could tell from her breathing and the tension in her entire body that she wasn't sleeping.

The bright lights of the airport invaded the darkness inside the car far too soon. Edward was prepared for Bella leave his arms at this point, understanding if she wanted distance between them. After all, was he any different from the monsters that they had just left. Would it be his face amongst the others in the nightmares she would have about this day?

It pleased him immensely when she continued to cling to him as they moved towards the gate. He let Alice hurry ahead of them, and he felt no need to rush towards their flight, appreciating the warmth and softness of Bella while he still could. They boarded, Edward and Bella still in a silent embrace, Alice softly but rapidly speaking into her cell to Jasper.

Once seated, he ignored Alice's reassurances and Jasper's responses, hoping to give them as much privacy as possible. He tried to discourage Bella from drinking a soda, encouraging her to sleep. But she looked up at him as she accepted the drink, explaining a fear of nightmares. She no longed seemed as scared as she had in the car and while back at the castle, but there was an anxiety in her eyes which convinced him she truly didn't want to sleep. He was glad of the excuse to hold her a little longer.

During the flight Edward grew more courageous about the embrace, encouraged by the way Bella seemed so comfortable with him. He kept one arm around her, letting his other hand wander, brushing softly around her face- eyelids, nose, lips, neck, ears. With each caress he tried to memorise her, knowing he may not have much longer left with her. His lips found her hair, her forehead, once or twice her cheeks- but never her lips, he couldn't imagine the pain if she rejected his kiss. He was almost delighted when her hands also caressed his face, his arms, his hands. Bella remained awake during the entire flight, and snuggled firmly against him, even during the flight changes.

There were so many things he wanted to stay, that he should have said during those hours together. Somehow he felt that it _was_ fear which caused her to cling to him so, determined that as soon as she was in the familiar and safe home of Forks, she would no longer need him, not require his arms holding her together. So he said nothing, enjoying what small time he had with her, to pretend as though they had forever, to pretend as though he wasn't counting each second and each of her heartbeats.

The landing into Sea Tac happened much too soon, but Bella sighed in relief as they started to leave the plane. Edward stiffened, waiting for the rejection, the moment when she would run to someone else's arms for comfort and support. He wondered if Jacob Black would be waiting at Charlie's house, even at the late hour.

Esme and Carlisle's faces were relieved and joyful, and Bella seemed to waken and relax at the sight of them. Edward knew that the moment of letting go was coming near, if not at the immediate time. Esme reached out towards them, and Bella moved into the hug. Edward knew that he should have let go of Bella, but he couldn't.

_Selfish, so very selfish-if I can't now, I'll never be able to let go_. Edward admonished himself, but neither Esme nor Carlisle's thoughts corrected his behaviour, they approved of the way Edward kept an arm around Bella and she kept hold of his hand. He hadn't even noticed Alice and Jasper's reunion, but he knew that they were so absorbed in each other that they probably didn't notice the rest of the family either, following slowly through the crowd to the cars.

As they walked, Carlisle looked at Edward appraisingly, his thoughts curious.

"What?" Edward grouchily demanded.

"I'm just wondering where we can place a tracking device on you. For the next time you run away," Carlisle replied solemnly but his eyes were filled with humor.

Edward ducked his head, kissing Bella's hair. "I don't plan on running any more."

"Good," Esme murmured, reaching out and taking Carlisle's hand.

* * *

Jacob Black was not waiting, but Charlie was, the lights in the house were still on and Edward could hear his angry thoughts as he paced around the small kitchen. Bella had finally fallen asleep in the car, her head against Edward's chest, her hands clutching his shirt. He knew it would be easier to let go of her now, without the chance of seeing her relief as he left. But he selfishly wanted to hold onto her for the few minutes longer, so he carried her to the door and waited for Charlie to let him inside.

Charlie's face was livid, Edward knew he had no idea where Bella had been or why she had disappeared, only expecting their return from Alice's cryptic message on the phone, but he also saw the accusation in Charlie's thoughts. Edward was at fault, and had been for a long time in Charlie's perspective, and the pain of the expected separation grew for Edward.

Their argument was brief, because Edward knew he deserved Charlie's blame, and he managed to convince Charlie to let him take Bella up the stairs and into her bed. Charlie remained downstairs once he was sure Bella was safe at home, now speaking to Carlisle in a quiet angry voice. Edward pulled the covers across Bella's resting form, running a hand through her hair. She sighed deeply, contentedly in her sleep, and rolled to face him, murmuring his name. The spark of happiness and possession thrilled through him, just like that first night she had murmured his name while she slept. He wanted to lay beside her, wrap his arms around her, and stay there through the night. But he could hear Charlie and Carlisle still speaking downstairs, Carlisle trying to sound soothing. He didn't have much more time to say goodbye.

Leaning over, he kissed Bella's cheek, gently , pausing there to enjoy the proximity. As though by reflex, Bella moved her head, searching, seeking, and their lips met. Edward stood upright, startled, knowing the kiss would be hard to walk away from, wondering if she had consciously moved into the kiss. Her eyes were still closed, her breathing still deep and even. Though her heart fluttered ever so slightly faster. She mumbled his name again, and buried her face into the pillow.

Edward stepped back, telling himself it was time to leave, even though he wanted to stay. Turning, he noticed his own face on her desk. The photos from Bella's birthday, the gifts he and his family had given her, were on her desk, near her dinosaur of a computer. Checking that she was still asleep, he lifted one of the photos, looking at it closer. He and bella stood together, smiling, happy. Was there a chance that Bella... that she could still...Edward hesitated with those thoughts.

She had found the photos, the memories which he had hidden. When he had left, he had meant it to be for her as if he never existed- but he couldn't leave without hiding some part of him behind. So when she had uncovered his hidden treasures, why she had kept them. Could she really have moved on, with the memories of him still in plain view?

Edward replaced the photo on the pile, hearing Carlisle's warning thoughts. Charlie was enraged that Edward had spent longer than necessary in her room, he was starting up the stairs. Edward rushed out of the room, a little too fast and had to compose himself before moving down the stairs.

He knew that he had to speak to Bella, to tell her the truth, to be entirely honest with her. Maybe his honesty would be rewarded, maybe she still cared for him in some sense, still wanted him around. Because he couldn't remain in Forks, hoping to protect Bella, and not try to repair their former relationship. He would confess to her all his lies, all his misery in the past few months. He had originally believed he should only try to protect her, but now he wanted more, he wanted what they had before.

But he wouldn't have the chance to do so that night, while Charlie was still awake and mad at him. So Edward allowed Carlisle and Esme to lead him out the door and into Carlisle's car.

* * *

Alice was dancing around the front room when Esme and Edward entered through the front door. Carlisle had dropped them at the house, and left for his shift at the hospital. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were sprawled on the lounges, watching Alice's 'happy dance'. Her grin broadened as she flew towards Esme, hugging her quickly before gripping Edward's shoulders.

"I've re-enrolled us at the school," she blurted, and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Alice, we don't know if we'll still be here when school starts again."

"Oh, we will be." Alice grinned confidently before flying up the stairs. "And you'll have to wait until tomorrow night," she called down the stairs.

Edward frowned, hating when Alice was so cryptic and now her mind obsessing over her closet, so Edward couldn't read an explanation from her. Jasper was watching Edward, while Rosalie and Emmett resumed a game of rummy.

"Alice told us about the Volturi's decision, Edward." Jasper spoke quietly, and Edward watched Rosalie and Emmett listen, though their eyes were focused on their cards. Esme nervously rearranged a vase of lilies.

Edward nodded stiffly, before moving towards the stairs. "I can't talk about it right now. I need to talk to Bella first."

He walked up the stairs without hearing the response of his family. He knew that they would agree with his wish and not speak_ to him_ about the Volturi's ultimatum. Between themselves, that topic, however, was not taboo.

Edward lounged on the black sofa in his room, turning his stereo on, praying for the music to drown out the conversations of his family below.


	25. Chapter 24: Paris

**AN:**My fav quote of all time: "I couldn't let you walk away from me, it hurt just to imagine it." Send me a hi-five if you know what I mean- it so tops the lion and the lamb quote.

Ok enough swooning. I'm halfway through my second reading of BD and starting my next fanfiction- so it's incredible that this chapter got finished- but it did..YAY! Thank you to the few who reviewed the last chapter, kellicollen, twilightdaydream, bloomsky and xDreamOn'94. Kisses and Hugs to you.

* * *

**Chapter 24: Paris**

Bella lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling above her. She wasn't sure when she had woken, or how long she had been asleep. Nor could she remember the dreams from the night before, though she was left with a hopeful, positive feeling. It had been as though she had been asleep, and now suddenly she was wide awake, her brain buzzing with activity. The world outside her window was dark and quiet, but Bella couldn't tell if it was early morning or late night. She rolled over in the bed, and suddenly remembered the day before.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, sitting up. She wasn't sure what she expected, Edward sitting, watching from her rocking chair, maybe? She knew it was ridiculous to expect him there but she couldn't help the rising hope.

The room was dark, empty except for her. She wondered then if her memories were real or it had all been a very bad dream. Surely if it had been real, she wouldn't be alone now.

Rubbing her palms on her eyes, Bella got out of bed and turned the light on. The light was harsh and bright, making her blink. She felt dazed, confused from not being able to judge the time or day. How long had she been asleep?

A note on her desk suddenly caught her attention. It had that familiar, elegant scrawl, neat words making her heart flutter.

_Bella,_  
_I wish to talk to you, once you are fully rested.  
__Leave the window unlocked, if you will have m_e.  
_Edward._

She read through the note several times before digesting Edward's words. _If you will have me_, he had asked. But what was he asking? If she would have him visit the house, or if she would _have_ him.

Her hands shook as she read the note again, as though the meaning would become clear with another reading. Five simple little words that filled her with trepidation. Of course, she _would_ have him. She couldn't imagine a life any more perfect that with Edward, but she had been convinced repeatedly that he didn't _want_ her. Could those five words possibly mean that he had changed his mind? What was he asking her permission for?

Regardless, she would never deny Edward of anything he asked from her. She used to believe that his golden eyes had to burn into hers before she would submit to his requests, but even his handwriting on a page ripped her school book compelled her to comply. She quickly moved towards the window, which was locked, possibly for the first time in the year she had been in Forks, and unlocked it. Her hands lingered against the cold glass and she closed her eyes, pressing palms flat against the pane. It was like his arm or chest under her hands, cold, hard and smooth, and yet not even close to the feel of him. She wondered how long it would take him to see that she was awake, and had granted his request. More than ever, she wanted to see him, to talk to him. To run her hands across his skin rather than the glass of her window.

She couldn't bear to wait for him, throwing the window open and staring out into the yard. An icy mist filled the air, leaving cold droplets of moisture on the sill, the waning moon was sitting low, over the tops of the trees. Nights ago, when the moon was still full, she had stared out her window and found Edward looking up at her. In that moment she hadn't expected to see him that night, and though his behaviour was so very distant, it was still a pleasure to find him standing there. But tonight she hoped to see him, watching her window from the shadows, and was disappointed by the empty darkness.

The cold air made her shiver and gasp. She wrapped a jacket around her, but kept her eyes on the window, expecting him to appear through it at any moment. She knew he could move fast enough that if she blinked he could suddenly materialize but she still couldn't resist watching. She sat on the bed, curling her legs up and gripping her knees, eyes glued to the open window.

Minutes passed, and nothing changed. The world was still dark, cold and wet outside, and Bella was beginning to shiver where she sat. Sighing, Bella told herself _a watched pot never boils_, and moved in the bathroom, taking her necessities bag.

She washed her face and brushed her hair, silently as possible. She decided not to shower, as she could hear Charlie's snores from his room and didn't want to wake him. A creak in her room made her jump, and she was suddenly very nervous. _Was she right to assume his meaning? Had he really come to only talk to her, or did he also want more?_

She wished she had taken a change of clothes into the bathroom was well, as she was still wearing the jeans and sweater than she had flown to Italy and back in. She moved slowly, carefully back to her room, aware that nerves would not help her weak sense of balance.

Jacob stood by her bed, his back to her, seeming to fill the small room. She wasn't sure if it was his height or the anger in his every move which made him seem to so huge. He was staring down at her empty, rumpled bed, heaving in rage or panic.

"Jake?" She asked softly, surprised by his presence. Though unexpected, she was still happy to see him there. He turned at the sound of her voice, his eyes panic filled and stricken.

Relief and shock took over his face as he strode the distance between them and pulled her into a warm hug.

"Oh Bells," he whispered into her hair, "I was so worried...I thought that the worst had happened."

Bella hadn't expected such a reaction, she had assumed by his previous posture that he was mad _at her_. After the way they had last parted, she thought Jacob would still be angry, but he held her as though he was only relieved to see her.

Finally Jacob released his grip, looking down angrily, and she swallowed her ease, knowing the fight was about to start. "Why would you leave your window open like that, Bella? Don't you realise, even with those Cullen's around, you're still in danger of the red-head."

Bella frowned at Jacob, pulling away from his grip. "I wasn't really thinking about that, Jake."

He stared open-mouthed at her for a few moments, then seemed to shake the shock away. "Honestly, I have no idea what you _have _been thinking about, this last week. Twice you've disappeared, and just now, when I was making sure that you were safe once more, I find an open window and an empty bed!"

Bella scowled at him, moving to lean against the desk. She didn't want Jacob to see the photos or the note from Edward, she suspected he wouldn't react any happier to see them. "I only disappeared once Jacob."

He snorted and crossed his arms. "So what do you call the last few days, Is-a-bell-a?" He drew her entire name out, emphasizing each syllable, making her scowl deepen.

"What do you mean? What day is it?" She was suddenly confused, "I saw you the day before yesterday, Ja-cob."

Jacob's face was incredulous at first, then the expression dropped, leaving him looking tired and so very young. "No, Bella I saw you on Saturday. It's Wednesday."

When she was silent, disbelieving that so many days had passed, he continued. "Well, actually it's almost Thursday. But you were missing until Tuesday morning. And this time Charlie knew that you were gone as well."

Still silent, Bella counted the days, realising that she and Alice had flown to Italy all day Sunday, and they had left Volterra late Monday.

"Have I been asleep since I got home?" She whispered, alarmed by how many days had flown by without her notice.

Jacob nodded solemnly, and then added, "We were really worried, Bella. I left you here alone, and Sam thought that..." he trailed off, looking at the open window. "Why is this window open any way?"

Bella frowned again, "Locked windows won't stop a murderous vampire Jake."

He sat on her bed, making it creak and mumbled, "Or keep out the unwanted ones."

Bella sat next to him, taking his big warm hands in hers, wanting to explain to him, but not wanting to start a fight.

"The Cullens knew where I was," she tried softly, "didn't any of you think to ask them?"

Jacob only snorted again, and looked away.

"I'm sorry you were worried Jake, I didn't mean for that to happen. Especially for Charlie to..." Bella trailed off, listening to the loud snores of her father in the other room. She could distantly remembered him yelling at Edward, as he carried her to the door, and she understood why Edward had stayed away, asking for _her_ permission to visit.

The cold air tingled down her spine, making her shiver and Jacob looked up at the movement. "Geez Bells, your freezing arn't you?"

He rubbed his hands against her arms, warming her, and she rested her head against his shoulder. When she stopped shivering he sat there, holding her for a few moments, not speaking. Then he suddenly got up, moving towards the window.

"It's too cold for you pathetic humans to have their windows open," he joked, starting to close it.

"No!" Bella cried out, a little too loud. They stared at each other in silence, listening to Charlie grunt and mumble in his sleep. When his snores continued again. Bella relaxed but Jacob didn't.

"Why is this window open, Bella?" He persisted, his eyes curious with a hint of anger.

"I just... I need to..." Bella deliberated, unsure of how to tell Jacob that she was waiting for Edward. He must have spied the note over her head, because he was suddenly storming towards her desk. His eyes tore over the note and the photos before looking back at her.

"Are you crazy, Bella?" His voice was shaking as was his hands. "You find a note from a blood sucker, and you willingly leave your window open. I know it won't stop them regardless, but you welcome them in!"

"I know you don't _like _the Cullens very much, or even trust them. But I _do_ like them, and I do trust them."

Jacob growled, the sound strange from his human face, and glared out the window. "What if it wasn't your beloved _Cullen_ leaving a note, but the red-head setting a trap?"

Bella stopped, thinking of this for a second before shaking her head. "If Victoria had found a way past the pack _and_ the Cullen's watching over me," she thought of Alice and smiled, knowing that any move Victoria would try and make would be anticipated. "Do you really think, if she got into my room, she would only leave a _note?_ Victoria is not that polite, she would have taken me, or killed me here!"

All of this was said in a very frustrated whisper, and Bella found herself standing closer to the window, glaring at Jacob across the room. He glared back, his entire body shaking now. She knew that Jacob really wasn't angry about the imaginary trap he thought she could have walked into, he was mad because of the note from Edward he was crushing in his hand.

"Close your window and lock it, Bella." Jacob ordered softly, his eyes focused on the window rather than her.

"He just wants to talk, Jake, and I want to talk to him too."

"About what?" Jacob growled suddenly, "are you going to let him break you again, cause you so much pain you barely try to live afterwards?"

Bella flinched at the idea, she hadn't considered that Edward might be coming to say good-bye again, that the scene from the forest, which she had all but destroyed in her memories, might be replayed in her room. That with the ultimatum from the Volturi, and the constant danger she was in, Bella realised it was likely Edward would want to leave again. She knew she wasn't worth the effort, that he would rather die than have her for eternity.

"Is he your...?" Jacob hestitated, unable to finish the sentence. He swallowed loudly and tried again, "are you and him...?"

Jacob closed his eyes, turning away from her, his hands clutching his face, not wanting to hear those words. Bella couldn't answer, frozen in the moment. She wanted to say yes, she was hoping that she and Edward would be as they once were, but from the way Jacob was reacting to the idea, she knew that a positive answer would mean she had lost a friend. But the doubts of the moment before also clouded her mind. What if she said yes, hoping Edward wanted what she did, and she was wrong? What if she lost Jacob, to gain Edward, and Edward was only planning on walking away again? Could she survive in Forks without either of them? She knew she couldn't.

Could she choose between them?

"Just say it, Bella!" Jacob whispered harshly, looking at her with desperate eyes. Bella wanted to comfort him, to say the words that would put him at ease, but she couldn't let go of the hope that Edward loved her again. And she couldn't tell this to Jacob. She stood there silent, wondering how to resolve the situation.

Finally, Jacob got tired of her silence, and began marching firmly towards the window. He had one foot outside, when she suddenly woke from the panic filling her.

"Jake, wait!"

He turned back to her, his mouth forming a thin tense line.

"Don't make me choose," she whispered softly, reaching her hands out to him. He was just inches away, but she felt like they were now worlds apart. "Please Jake, isn't there another option?"

His expression softened for a moment, and he reached out his hand to stroke her face gently.

"No, Bella. If you tell me now that he's going to stay, going to be with you. There is no other option, we can't be friends."

Bella was silent, again the inner-turmoil dividing her between the best friend that was her sunshine and the love that was her air.

He must have taken the silence as her answer, because Jacob swiftly dropped himself outside of the window, and disappeared into the dark forest.

* * *

**AN: **Ok in case you didn't understand the chapter title- Jacob is Bella's Paris as Edward is her Romeo. It was originally intended to have some of that analogy fitted in, but the chapter got too long.


	26. Chapter 25: Confessions

**AN:** OK You are about to read the LONGEST chapter I have ever written, and I wrote it and looked back and couldn't edit it. SO i hope it's not too long for you. Thank you to BB's girls, kellicolleen, twilightdaydream, xDreamOn'94, NicolieTheGoalie and Shanynde for reviewing the last chapter! You said 'more' and 'soon'- is this enough?

* * *

**Chapter 25: Confessions**

Bella took a change of clothes in the bathroom, knowing that she couldn't sleep any more that night, so she might as well get dressed. She also knew that it was foolish to change in the bathroom, but she didn't even want to imagine the awkward situation that could happen if Jacob came back or worse, if Edward arrived while she was dressing.

She wanted to keep busy, to stop thinking about the sadness about to break down her composure, but was only frustrated, it was still too dark outside to really _do_ anything. She left her clothes in a pile on the floor and went downstairs to the kitchen, not hungry despite missing a whole day of meals.

She was nibbling on a piece of bread when a creak upstairs startled her. She tried to calm her speeding heart, deciding it was Jacob returning, hopefully to apologise, because Edward was far too graceful to make a noise if he didn't want to. She sat as still as possible, listening to Charlie's snoring, and heard nothing more from her room. Jacob was waiting, so she started to walk up the stairs, preparing what she could say to him. How could she preserve their friendship, while still hoping for Edward's love?

As she climbed the stairs, she ran their conversation through her mind, and started to get angry. Why should Jacob destroy their friendship because of the way she felt about Edward? How could he assume that Edward was only going to hurt her again? She knew that even when Edward_ had_ hurt her, it was never intentional, he would never _want_ to hurt her. Jacob only ever though the worst of Edward, and had tried to make her do the same, and though it had been Edward who had left her so many months ago, she felt compelled to defend him. Couldn't Jacob understand that, no matter how her relationship was with Edward, she was still have feelings for him, still would do anything, even fly to Italy, for him. But that didn't reduce her need for Jake's friendship.

She almost flew into the room, catching the door before it banged closed. She didn't want to wake and involve Charlie no matter how horrible this argument would be. Standing against her closed door, she froze, staring at Edward who was sitting in her rocking chair. In his hands was the note he had written, and he stared down at it, tracing the crumples in the paper with one long finger.

"Edward," Bella breathed, her heart recovering from the shock and beginning to race. He didn't look up, only crushed the paper into a ball with his fists.

"Edwar--" She tried again, when he looked up, his eyes burning with passion. As though she had blinked, his expression changed and he was suddenly cheerful.

"Thank you for getting rid of the dog," he smiled, humour filling his eyes. Bella scowled at him, crossing her arms. She had been prepared to defend Edward to Jacob, but not the other way around.

"Jacob is not a dog."

He let the paper ball drop, and shifted in the chair to a more casual pose, rocking slowly while he looked at her.

"I didn't mean to be the cause of an argument, I really only wanted to talk."

Bella started to say she wanted to talk to him as well, but she only got to say, "I wanted..." before she tripped on her jeans and shoes piled on the floor.

Edward caught her before she hurt herself, his hands pulling her close to him. They both knelt for a moment staring at each other, one of his hands gently cupping her face.

"Bella," he breathed suddenly serious, and her mind blanked from the sensory overload, the sight of his eyes, the taste of his breathe on her tongue, the feel of his hands holding her, the sound of his voice, so filled with love and passion as he said _her_ name.

"Breathe, Bella," he said, shaking her gently, his expression lifted by a crooked grin. She carefully moved away from him, and they sat on the floor by her bed, barely a foot apart. She wanted to reach out and touch him, as he sat there like a gorgeous statue, but she knew that touching him would not help the conversation.

"You wanted to talk?" She asked softly, and he looked down, nodding. He seemed to be trying to prepare what he wanted to say.

"Bella I lied," he blurted out, twisting his hands in his lap. She almost didn't hear what he had said. He looked so wretched she wanted to comfort him, but she kept what little space remained between them, trying to keep a clear head.

"What?" She demanded, voice filled with desperation.

"I lied!" He said louder, looking up at her now, his eyes brimming with guilt. He couldn't meet her eyes for very long though, looking back down at his hands, which were opened out to her, almost begging her, for what she wasn't sure. Mentally, she was running through all the possible lies he could have told her. _He never loved her, maybe or they hadn't returned to protect her, it was just a coincidence._

"When?" Bella tried to clarify, unsure about the direction of this 'talk'.

He looked up, as though he hadn't expected her question. "Last September."

Bella froze, trying to ignore the pain from those memories. _Lied about what? _she wondered again. He must have taken her silence as a signal to continue, because he shifted his body forward, leaning towards her, reaching out.

"What I said, Bella, could never be true. I have loved you for so very long, and I always will. I couldn't imagine a better life than one spent protecting you. That's why we came back, that's why I came back. I knew I could never deserve your love again, but to protect you, to make sure that you lived a long and happy human life, was more than I could ever ask for."

Bella felt a thrill in her heart as he spoke, at his promise to always love her. But she knew that she had to be rational, that there was so many questions she needed answered before anything else could happen.

"I thought you came back to Forks because of Victoria?"

Edward scowled at the name, but shifted forward again. "None of us, not even Alice, knew that Victoria was here until Carlisle saw you at the hospital."

Bella looked at him surprised, she had been so sure of the reason for their return. "But, you said... you seemed so upset...and I thought." She couldn't explain to him the storm of emotions coursing through her. Relief and happiness at his confession, but also confusion and frustration that her beliefs had been so very wrong. _Why hadn't Alice explained this to her on the flight to Italy, _she wondered. Aloud she asked, "then why have you seemed so distant, like you didn't want to be here?"

It was Edward's turn to look surprised. "Well, because you were crying when you saw me and..." he trailed off as though lost in the thought, before shaking his head and continuing. "And I came here to try and talk to you, and Jacob Black was visiting."

Now Bella was shaking her head, thinking over the argument from minutes ago, _Edward had watched that? _Or did he mean the argument that had happened days ago?

"Then when we all thought you were..." Edward stood suddenly, as though he could walk away from that thought of her death. "Jacob was so upset, and his mind was filled with images of..." Bella stood nervously, remembering Jacob's confession of using Edward's talent against him. Jacob had never been clear about _what_ he had thought to hurt Edward, but now Bella had some idea.

"_Y__ou_." Edward finished. Bella didn't have to be a mind-reader to know that those thoughts of her and Jacob were now running through Edward's mind. He stared out of the window, his expression changing from forlorn to envious and he turned suddenly back to her.

"Have you moved on, Bella? I'll understand, if you have. I just needed to know." He said softly, his eyes were a mixture of wretchedness and jealousy.

"Moved on?" Bella blurted out, her eyes wide, appalled, "With Jacob?" She heard her voice break at his name, and felt a stab of unease as the envy grew in Edward's eyes. Then she remembered all the pack's little implications about her and Jacob, Charlie's assumptions, the way Jacob had leaned in repeatedly, almost about to kiss but never quite. The jealousy and angst in _Jacob's_ eyes, only moments before when he had asked her about Edward.

Edward nodded solemnly, "I'll admit that it was difficult to imagine you, happy, in love with someone like _Mike Newton_ one day, but never in my wildest thoughts could I have thought..." He clutched one of her pillows to his chest, and she was almost sure that he was smelling it.

"Do you really believe that I could ever replace _you?_" Bella asked softly, gesturing towards him vaguely. "That I could love _anyone_ as much as I love you? Is that really why you've been so distant, you thought I didn't love you any more?"

Edward dropped the pillow on the bed, sitting next to it. He looked up at her, his face careful yet there was hope in his eyes. "You still haven't answered my question, Bella."

Bella sat next to him, but with enough space between them that she could still think clearly. "No, Edward, I haven't _moved on_. How could you believe that?"

Edward reached out to her, cupping her face gently in his cold hands. "How could you ever believe those lies, but never the truth?"

"Well just look at us!" she whispered harshly, gesturing first to him, and then back at her. "Look at you! It always made more sense that you didn't love me!"

Edward pulled back, but keeping his fingertips on her cheekbones. "Are you never going to see yourself clearly?"

Bella snorted, moving away, and he grabbed her hand, turning her back to him. "Honestly Bella, there was a line up waiting for my mistake. I was so sure that somebody would have taken my place, so scared that I had returned too late."

"There is no one else," Bella replied, her voice filled with determination. She grabbed his hands and held them against her cheeks. "There will never be any one else, Edward. Do you understand that? All I've ever wanted is _your_ love."

His eyes almost caught fire, and his solemn face broke into a brilliant grin. He began to lean forward slowly, and they were still staring into each other's eyes as their lips met. Bella had to close her eyes, and she held perfectly still with as much self restraint as possible, letting his kiss her. Just when she was about to let go of restraint and throw herself at him, he began to pull back, running his thumbs across her cheeks.

"Don't cry," he whispered, and she realised he was wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry, I should have asked first, but you make me so happy, Bella."

"I'm not crying cause I'm sad," she choked on the sobs, eyes still shut tight. "I'm crying because I'm happy too."

He laughed at that, such a joyful sound and she had to open her eyes then. He was almost laying on the bed, laughing with his entire body, but his arms were still wrapped around her.

"Shhh!" She hushed, putting a hand on each of his shoulders. "Sleeping father in the other room!"

They were both quiet then, him gripping her to his chest. His body was very tense, but she could feel a difference from the moment before, as though he was calmer, at ease now.

"I should go," he said suddenly, standing up when they both knew Charlie's snores had stopped. He pushed her to lay on the bed, kissing her forehead gently.

"No," she whispered, reaching out to him, clutching his shirt. "Don't leave, I can't let you walk away from me ever again."

He frowned and then hurriedly whispered, "I wont go far, Bella. But Charlie's banned me from the house. It wouldn't be good if he found me here this morning."

Bella frowned in return, mentally noting a conversation she would have with her father."I don't care, I want you to stay." She whispered harshly.

Edward was listening now to something other than her words, and Bella could hear the footsteps from Charlie's room.

"Would it be childish if I hid?" he asked, grinning, though the humour didn't reach his eyes.

Bella shook her head, and he slipped into the closet just before Charlie opened the door.

"Morning Dad," Bella croaked. Charlie still looked half asleep as he poked his head around her door.

"Bella, what are you doing awake so early?"

"I can't sleep any more, Dad. I'm sorry, go back to bed, I'll be really quiet." She promised, sitting up on the bed.

Charlie nodded and closed the door. She listened to him shuffle back to his room, before Edward climbed out of the closet, his eyes serious.

"Bella," Edward said joining her on the bed, "what did you mean by wanting me to stay?"

Bella frowned before meeting his eyes, fearing the worst. He had just confessed that he still loved her, but that didn't mean he was going to stay with her. "How long are you going to be in Forks?" She asked softly.

Edward raised a single eyebrow, but didn't smile. "We haven't decided yet, I know I told you at least until Victoria has been dealt with."

Bella grimaced, understanding. She knew that he had made the decision to leave so that he could protect her, and he had done that out of love. Which means he could easily make that decision again. He gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and she pulled away from his lingering hand, blinking back tears. Already she could feel the rip growing in her chest. She was finding it hard to breathe again.

"Why are you making that face?" he asked, holding her chin so she would look at him.

"How long before you say good-bye again, Edward? How long before you consider yourself a danger to me and run away _again_? I can't be heart-broken over another broken promise. I don't think I'll survive you leaving me again." She was so very close to getting everything she wanted, but she needed him to be clear of his intentions. She refused to be hopeful over a possible disappointment.

Edward held her at arms length, a serious look on his face only broken by the happiness and humour now filling his eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan, I will stay with you as long as you want me to. I'm being very selfish from now on, I _never_ want to be separated from you, ever again." He grinned crookedly before teasing, "Do you believe me this time?"

Bella ducked her head, wiping furiously at the tears, wanting desperately to believe. "Would it be very selfish of me then, to ask for forever?" She looked up at him, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Absolutely," he replied, "but I don't think I could resist giving you anything you ask for." He pulled her closer, so that her head was resting against his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist.

Bella sighed, enjoying the moment, before teasing him again. "Well I suppose that solves all my problems."

She didn't need to look at his face to know he was frowning again. "And what exactly would those be, Victoria and infatuated adolescent werewolves?"

Bella didn't move, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Jacob is not a problem. And you already promised to deal with Victoria and stay forever, so my only other problem would be the Volturi."

Edward stroked her hair, comfortingly. "You don't need to worry about them, they won't even think about you again for years. You're in not danger there."

She pulled away, looking at his face, noting the tone of his voice. "But it doesn't matter when they come, because we're going to fulfill our part of the agreement right. You're going to give me, to give us, what I want."

Edward grimaced, and played with a lock of her hair. "I rephrase then, I'll give you anything reasonable that you want. Don't be so quick to give up mortality, Bella? We have so many other options."

It was her turn to grip his face between her hands, making him look her in the eyes. "I don't want any other option Edward. Being with you forever doesn't mean growing older day by day to me. I _want_ to --"

"Don't ask me to do this Bella, I won't damn you!" He replied fiercely.

Bella pulled away, getting off the bed and finding her jacket. If he would be so unreasonable she would find another way to placate the Volturi.

"What are you doing?" He asked, nonchalantly.

"I'm going to find your sister, or your father. Maybe they can make you see some sense."

Edward snorted, watching Bella move around the room. "Alice has been arguing with me about this for the past year. I'm not shifting, you stay human."

Bella stopped looking for one of her shoes and stared at him. "There are other vampires in the neighbourhood than you and Alice, maybe they will help me," she teased.

"Bella," Edward moaned, trying to pull her towards the bed. "Please just listen to my plan--"

"No," Bella huffed, moving towards the door. "You listen, Edward. This isn't up to you any more. We are not the only two going to be affected by this. If you're going to bring the Volturi to Forks, the other vampires deserve to know."

Edward was blocking the doorway before she could blink. "They already know, and I know what they think about it."

Bella stared up at him, before glancing towards the window. She considered her chances of climbing down from it, in the dark, clumsy as she was.

"They agree with me!" Edward declared, grabbing her arm. "And you'll hurt yourself, which will make Charlie suspicious."

Bella didn't believe him, except about hurting herself. She knew that Alice would at least agree with her. Maybe together they could convince Jasper, and Esme seemed to like her as well. She was sure that Carlisle would be practical as possible with the safety of his family in account.

"I'm going to your house, you can either stay here and mope, or come with me. I'm sure you'll want to be there, you like voicing your opinion on this." She tried to make her tone as biting as possible.

"What are you going to do Bella, ask them to vote on your life?" Edward replied sarcastically.

Bella was thoughtful for a moment. If only Emmett and Rosalie sided with Edward, she _could_ win a vote.

"Good idea."

* * *

**AN:** So obviously this and the next chapter are very similiar to the book- but I've tried to be added some originality and a few things are different. But seeing as they are following the book's story line pretty closely- I'm posting both chapters at once. So READ ON!!


	27. Chapter 26: Vote

**AN:** Please don't skip this chapter if you think it's going to be the same as the book. It's not! There are lots of similarities but it's not EXACTLY the same, cause I ain't SM. Chapter 24 is one of my _favourite_ chapters in New Moon, and I've always wondered what Edward was thinking during it. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 26: Vote**

Edward ran through the forest, letting the trees pass them in a blur. They had argued about how to get to his house, Bella had wanted to drive her truck, but he insisted on carrying her, reminding Bella that the noise of the truck's engine would wake Charlie. As the house came into view, Edward didn't slow down, running until they were almost at the stairs leading to the porch. He was angry and he glared at his family, who were gathered calmly in front of the open door, as he let Bella climb off his back. She walked, wobbly but confident, up the steps and greeted each vampire waiting there but he didn't notice. He was so mad, and he stood where he had stopped, not yet completely under control.

_What is she thinking?_ He wanted to yell, but only continued to breathe heavily, as though the run had exhausted him. He didn't want to go into the house, didn't want to face the conversation that was about to occur. He already knew the way his family felt about Bella, had read their minds and known that they had accepted the Volturi's offer, had already wanted Bella to become one of them.

But he could not damn her, she who was so undeserving of such a life, or such a fate. She didn't need to be a monster as well.

He looked up, seeing them all waiting, watching him from the porch. Bella stood just in front of the door, as though she was about to walk inside but was waiting for him. Alice held one of her hands, Esme had an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Carlisle was holding Esme's other hand. Emmett was holding Rosalie's shoulders, just behind Carlisle and Jasper with his arms crossed looked on from behind Alice.

Edward froze, seeing what he didn't want to believe. Bella stood amongst his family, so natural, so fitting. It was as though she was always intended for their way of existance, had always been a missing part of _their family_, as though they had been returning to Forks time after time again waiting _for her. _Their meeting was not a coincidence but the point where their fates had intertwined- never to be distinct from each other again. He knew he would follow her any where, and she would do the same for him. He could see the future so clearly, at that point, a future with Bella as one of them, possibly the way Alice had been seeing things for months.

He had always been honest that it didn't matter to him how old Bella was, or how different she grew, as long as she loved him, _wanted_ him, he would be happy to have her. But in that moment, he saw how happy he could be, with an eternally youthful Bella, with a partner who could stay up all night listening to music, who would sparkle in the sunlight more beautiful than a diamond, who he could hunt and run with, a part of his family and his life. An infinity of moments flashed through his mind, of a Bella who he could love without restraint, without fear for her safety

"Edward?" Carlisle asked softly, and Edward refocused on them, staring down at him. He wondered how long had passed as he stood, fantasising about a life he shouldn't be allowed to have. Now matter how happy that life could make him, Bella didn't deserve damnation. He would try to prevent that future if he could.

"Well, let's go." Edward said stiffly, walking up the stairs, and talking Bella's empty hand. He lead them into the little used dining room, and they all quickly took a seat. Edward noticed, trying not to grimace, that there were eight chairs, accommodating all of them naturally. Bella began explaining the meeting quietly, at Carlisle's guidance, her eyes flashing nervously around the room, briefly over Edward. But he knew that she noticed his tense posture, the way his hand gripped the heavy wooden dining table, starting to leave dents. He took her hand under the table and kept his mouth in a tight line, reminding himself that she deserved a chance to speak, that they all deserved this opportunity to voice their opinions before he revealed his plan. Edward already knew every ones opinions, was trying to ignore the little bounces that Alice made in excitement while Bella spoke. He didn't need to hear them aloud, but Bella did, so he kept quiet.

At least until they had all voted.

His vote was an easy and immediate negative and he ignored the spoken words of his family, concentrating instead on their thoughts and the look of hope and acceptance filling Bella's eyes with each positive vote.

_Bella's been like a daughter to me, almost from the beginning_, Esme considered, next to Edward. He always knew that Esme would accept and love Bella, Esme was capable of loving a dung beetle.  
_Edward and Bella deserve each other as mates, in every sense of the word._ This thought jolted him, slightly, though he maintained his composure. He had heard Esme and Carlisle use the word in reference to him and Bella, to each other, to other couplings before, but he had never heard the intonation behind such a normally savage word. _Mate_ would imply animal urges and little respect in the relationship. But the way Esme used it, implied so much more. It was a union, deeper than marriage, more intimate than love- it was being made for each other and none other.

Edward knew that was how he felt about Bella, regardless whether she was human or vampire, but Esme's implication told him that their union would always be left wanting if Bella remained human for the rest of his existence.

_Yes, yes, YES! Of course! It's always been the way things were meant to be!_ Alice was practically screaming in her mind, but he noticed she no longer bounced in her seat. She seemed calm, but her thoughts were buzzing with the idea of Bella living with them, of a new sister and forever a friend. Edward felt ashamed at the realisation that taking his family away from Forks had hurt his beloved sister, he hadn't want to notice the depth of camaraderie between Bella and Alice, yet it was there, in Alice's mind.

Jasper was trying to be completely analytical as he looked at Bella, his hand holding both of Alice's. Edward understood why Alice was no longer bouncing. Jasper quickly looked over a list of pros and cons in his mind about Bella joining the family. Edward realised from Jasper's memories that this list was compiled long ago, while Jasper, Alice and Bella had hidden in a hotel room in Arizona. The list of positive for Bella's transformation was much longer than the negative. Edward tried to brush away Jasper's many reasons, focusing on Emmett's mind.

Emmett, Edward had been sure, would vote negatively, for the purely selfish idea that Emmett was vastly entertained by Bella's human-ness. But his brother's thoughts were far deeper than Edward expected. Emmett, like Jasper and Alice, already considered Bella a sister, and felt a fierce sense of protection towards her. Emmett, like Jasper was trying to be practical, but rather than analysing the situation, he had concluded that Bella the danger-magnet would be best off as an indestructible vampire.

It was from Rosalie's mind that Edward only received a sense of satisfaction, though not for the reasons he expect. Rosalie voted no, but internally she seemed complacent whether or not Bella joined the family. Instead, Rosalie on a moral front hinted towards her own 'new birth', which Edward knew Bella had no knowledge of and though Rosalie had voted the way Edward had preferred, he did not appreciate her reasoning. Still from Rosalie's thoughts, Edward gathered a sense of acceptance from his sister towards Bella. Rosalie certainly didn't _like_ Bella that much, but she didn't hate her the way she used to.

Finally Bella turned to Carlisle, who was looking at Edward. _Maybe you should consider changing your vote, Edward_.

There had only been a few occasions in their history where Edward and Carlisle had disagreed, one of those times was Rosalie's transformation, and another was when Alice and Jasper had appeared suddenly on their doorstep. Both times Edward had allowed Carlisle to win, and both times it had turned out for the best- Edward couldn't deny the happiness he gained from his family. But on this occasion, Edward wanted to win, he needed to win. Bella's life was something he had to protect, to cherish and love. Not something to be thrown away as easily had she wanted to. Rosalie had been right in that defence.

"Edward." Carlisle said softly but sternly. _Please don't start world war three over this, you love Bella, she loves you and she accepts what we are. She **wants **this, can you really deny her what we all want? _

"No," Edward growled, holding onto Bella's hand as though he was clasping her mortality.

"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle spoke out loud, looking from Bella to Edward. His words echo his thoughts so Edward felt overwhelmed by the insistence. "You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice." _Not that I would want any other option._

The repeat of Bella's words, from his father's thoughts was too much for Edward. He shoved the chair away from the table and strode into the living room. He could hear them talking quietly still, but tried to block out the words. Esme and Carlisle were both sending him admonishing thoughts for such a reaction, Alice was smug. He swore in every language he knew, the words coming out too fast to make any sense. _This could not happen. Bella **could not** become a vampire. _He kicked the coffee table on the side of the room and it flew towards the wall, breaking apart on impact and leaving a large mark in the white paint. It made a resounding crash which made Edward feel a little better, until he heard Esme's dismayed thoughts.

_Damage to a minimum, please Edward._

"Well Alice," Bella said softly, " Where do you want to do this?" Alice's thoughts changed rapidly from smug to fearful and Edward charged back into the room, pulling Bella's chair away from the table and leaning over her. Alice's mind was filled with horrific situations of her _trying _to change Bella, and failing. The rest of the family's thoughts range from shock and disapproval of Edward's behaviour, to concern that he was about to hurt Bella in his rage.

_That's it Edward, bite her now, get it over with!_ Emmett was the only one to offer cheerful encouragement. Edward worked hard to block out their thoughts, so they were only a dull buzz in the background of his mind, as he glared at Bella, trying to scare her back into reality.

"Are you INSANE? Have you utterly LOST your mind?" He shouted, but Bella cringed and glared at him as though _he_ had lost _his_ mind. Bella never did react the way he expected. He was fuming and could barely hear Alice trying to back out of her agreement.

"You promised," Bella said accusingly to Alice who was trying to delay, ignoring Edward. Alice now seemed to grasp the complexity of the situation, Edward noticed with approval, but Bella did not.

"You can do it," she encouraged. "I trust you." Those few words seemed to lift Alice's hopes slightly but Edward snarled, and his sister's thoughts changed. _I could never do that to you, Edward. If I failed, **I** wouldn't forgive myself._

Bella however could not be discouraged, "Carlisle?" she asked from under Edward's arms. He had to try harder to make her understand. He clasped her face with one hand, as gently as he could managed with the rage filling him, forcing her to look into his eyes. He let all the pain and anxiety and frustration that she was causing leak through, hoping this would make her stop this ridiculous quest.

_Don't hurt her, Edward. This will work out somehow, but your anger won't help._ Carlisle thought soothingly, and Edward held his other hand out towards his father, a silent request for some slack on the speed these plans were being made. Carlisle ignored him.

"I'm able to do it. You would be in no danger of me losing control" _I will do this, but Edward, I don't want to do it without your approval. And neither does she._

Bella agreed as though she was accepting a dinner invitation, rather than the plans for her own death.

"Hold on," Edward tried to say as calm as possible. He realised he was losing, that no matter what he said or did, Bella had already made her decision. "This doesn't have to happen right now. I can think of some reasons why we should wait before going ahead with this plan."

"Of course you can," Bella replied sourly, her eyes determined.

"Let's just say, for the sake of remaining inconspicuous, we wait. Do you really think you can disappear this morning, and Charlie won't notice or Renee?"

Bella grimaced, a look which contorted her face while Edward was still holding her jaw, he let go hoping her hadn't bruised her. The resolve in her eyes began to fade and Edward knew he had found a bargaining chip.

"I propose we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finished high school, and moves out of Charlie's house." He finished, hearing approval in his family's thoughts.

_Compromise, that's the key to both of you getting what you want._ Esme thought, and Edward began thinking of another way to delay Bella's change. Of course, he would only speak to her about it, once they had privacy.

Bella was looking at him with pursed lips and squinted eyes. "I'll consider it."

Edward relaxed, standing straight and offering her his hand. "I should probably take you home, don't want Charlie to start worrying too early." He tried to sound light-hearted and happy. Bella however, looked to Carlisle.

"After graduation?" She asked, her eyes seeking reassurance.

"You have my word."

She finally looked up at Edward, smiling. He pulled her onto his back and flew out the back doors, before the family could begin promising Bella anything more. Bella remained quiet as he ran, and he was lost in the plans he was forming, of ways to distract and delay Bella, of keeping her heart beating long after graduation.


End file.
